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Originally Posted by verbattered52

I have filed for disability. I filed two weeks ago. I understand it takes 3 - 5 months to get an answer.

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On another post you are seeking employment. I'm sure you are aware that if you FIND employment you no longer have a disability claim.

Work out of your home IS income-producing work.

Yes, I am aware of that. However, you are allowed to make a certain amount of $ and receive disability, too. I am not able to work full time, but obviously, can type.

Are there laws about spouse abuse where you are??

[QUOTE=Comments on this post
verbattered52 disagrees: Felt this answer was rather catty.QUOTE]



First, read the rules of the site concerning "approve" and "disapprove."

Secondly, when you post one set of circumstances on one thread and another set on another thread, expect someone to notice.

It's not the least bit unusual for someone to read other posts in order to get a sense of the OP and, in fact, other people have received greenies for it.

As far as the legality of working from home and collecting disability - you cannot be working when you file for SSD or else you aren't disabled. I'm not aware of any private insurance policy that pays for partial disability. I'd like to know more about the company you are going through.

So I don't understand your attitude.

I'm guessing he's probably insecure, which is why he tried to make himself look good at first. And now he's probably more insecure that you're not making as much money, maybe he's afraid he can't provide. Or he's just a big jerk. Either one. No matter what, he should NEVER talk to you like that and you need to stand up for yourself, even if that means leaving. Since your not very dependent on him, you'll do fine. Maybe he thinks you're dependent on him, so he feels he can say whatever, do whatever, and it won't matter because you can't leave. Which, if you need to, you can.

Judy Kay
Please understand I am trapped because of a lack of income. I had back surgery in 2004 due to an accident, and the surgery was unsuccessful. I have chronic pain not only in my back but in my pelvic bone, my butt and right leg. I also have nerve damage in right arm due to a broken elbow, and then we can throw in carpel tunnel and depression. I am desperate! I couldn't pay for an attorney, nor do I have a place to go. Do you understand more about me now?
, I apologize.

Are you coming up with a plan yet?

No, but I am trying. I'm also getting pretty verbal with him and not letting him talk to me with disrespect. However, I am still in a position where I have to ASK for gas money, etc.

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Originally Posted by verbattered52

No, but I am trying. I'm also getting pretty verbal with him and not letting him talk to me with disrespect. However, I am still in a position where I have to ASK for gas money, etc.

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Don't yell and scream. Just use as few words as necessary and be reasonable and calm and firm -- like a third grade teacher talking with her male students whom she caught looking at the artists' portraits of naked ladies in the encyclopedia.

I am not a screamer. Here's a good example of what I mean. We went to dinner with his family. I told him before we left if one disrespectful comment came out of his mouth during dinner the war was on. I told him I was not going to sit there without dishing the crap back and I didn't think he really wanted ME to air our dirty laundry.

I think that is how I would have handled it.
I WARN first and then that's it! You warned him and then bring out the cannon if he wants to light the fuse. He has to learn that you are not a door mat and you will not sit there and take it any more.
Next stage: Refuse to go anywhere with him.

Since he's acting like a child, yes, treat him like one. Warn, then if he screws up, follow through.

I'm glad you are acting and not just reacting.

Thank you for everything!

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Originally Posted by verbattered52

Thank you for everything!

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Stay in touch! Be calm and reasonable, but firm and consistent. Remember, he's acting like a 2 y/o, so deal with him accordingly when he acts like that.

Thank you, and please keep in touch, as well.

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Originally Posted by verbattered52

Thank you, and please keep in touch, as well.

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You've come a long way. I'm proud of you and glad we met.

I had a very bad week. He is been especially cruel and nasty this week. I have literally been nautious, had loss of appetite, diahrea, and had no energy. I know these are sympoms of depression and anxiety and I am taking medicine for both. I could not concentrate on reading, had no motivation or energy to attempt any physical task, and was visibly shaky. What a terrible feeling.

My dear, you don't deserve this. You must find a way out.

Your body is sending you some very strong signals. This is a stroke or heart attack waiting to happen(heaven forbid).

He is clearly aware of how he is hurting you.Is he gleaning pleasure from this? Its like he is punishing you for something.

You need to get out.. get away.. and let him find another punching bag for his aggression and anger.

Try not to give in to depression as it will make you give up the fight and fight you must for your sanity and dignity.

Stay strong and get away from this abuse!

You give me the same advise I would give anyone else. It's easier said than done. I do not want to go to some shelter, and I have nowhere else to go.

You have just said that it is easier said than done, but IMO there is no reason to put up with abusive behavior. The first time you are a victim, after that you are a volunteer and you allow it.
You need to leave this man. Love yourself more than the false sense of security staying there may bring.
I wish you well.