Ask Me Help Desk - Cheating on my husband

Quote:

Originally Posted by lynann

I would deal with it whatever way I had to if my husband was cheating on me. Things happen for a reason.

Care to enlighten us? I for one, want to know what can justify cheating. :confused:

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

Care to enlighten us? I for one, want to know what can justify cheating. :confused:

Yes Please. I am sorry, I do understand things happen, I do. I, for 1 have never cheated on my husband of 13 years. A personal rule of mine is I don't put myself in situations that I might be tempted in any which way. But if something was to happen I would hope I would go to my husband and tell him things got out of control, then it's his decision what he wants to do since I would have already made mine. But the one that have affairs are hyporcritical wussies, they wouldn't allow their spouses to be doing the same and they are too scared to tell what they have been doing. Affairs I do not understand. If it's not the effect on your family you want to think about then at least think about you husbands health. You have already said this marrried man has been cheating on his wife for the whole 10 years of their marrige, so I can only assume he has been with quite a few women in his entire past during. There are too meny diseases in this world for you not to tell him what kind of jepordy you are putting on him. Most married people do not get their STD test every year like recommended to the singles out there. If nothing else please inform him, why should he be effected by your mistakes, you have said he is at least your friend.

Me and my wife have been together for 16years I cheated on her before we got married and I hurt her bad and I have been making it up to her for 10years and I love her to death and don't ever want to hurt her again I felt the way you feel now and what you have to do is tell him what you been doing and how you feel if he still loves you after that then there is hope and ask him if you can start over go out hold hands be affectionate

I agree scott-richardson... and GOOD FOR YOU! It is such a good feeling to get it off your chest and come clean isn't it. I am happy to hear you wife gave you the chance to make it up to her.
Mike

I'll come from a slightly different perspective. I just recently found out that my wife had an affiar 6-7 years ago. We are woroking thought it and we'll see where we end up. I'll say this about telling the hubby, you have to. Will it hurt him, yes it will, but to move on and build upon lies and more bs just makes it worse. I wish I had known then.

We do have the benefit of several good years since the affiar and that is a positive of not telling but I now not only have to deal with the affiar (for me it is a new set of issues), but that fact that I have been lied to (I asked about it back then) and built a recovery on a false set of facts.

From the perspetive from the cheated on, tell him. If you had to guts to cheat have the guts to own up to it and more importantly give your husband a chance to make his decision.

Have you ever really think about who will definitely get very hurt from this?you,your husband or your two kids?I don't understand why you married your husband and have two kids with him as you said you do not love him!I can't see you are responsible for your commitment and your kids and which is unforgivable!Children is inculpable!

Quote:

Originally Posted by lynann

I am a 34 yr old woman married for 12 yrs. with two kids. My husband is my best friend, not my lover. We are like roommates. I love him as a friend. For the past two years I have been seeing a married man. I have fallen in love with him. He says he loves me. He is pretty happy in his marriage so I don't think he would ever leave his wife. What do I do? This is going nowhere but I don't think I can stop. The little time we spend together makes me so happy. Not sure I want to give it up. But I know that I will get very hurt in the end.

You know what your doing is wrong, stop it! Try to figure out what went wrong in your marriage and try to fix it, if it can not be fixed then you both need to move on, but no person should ever be cheated on! Either fix the problem or get out.