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-   -   My wife has a new best friend, a gay man. Should I be concerned? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=457992)

  • May 7, 2010, 10:17 AM
    Synnen
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck View Post
    some gay men may be bi sexual. And the gay thing may just be a stoy,
    Forget about gay or not, married women do not text with anyone other than thier husband for hours at a time

    Ahem.

    This is not true. I text all SORTS of people--male, female, co-workers, friends, family--for hours at a time. Especially if it's someone I like who is having problems--like coping with just getting out of a 3 year relationship.

    To the OP--If you don't want your wife to continue this friendship because you are uncomfortable, then please expect her to be able to tell you who YOU can be friends with, as well. She's not an extension of you--she can have her own friends.

    It sounds to me like she's doing everything she can--like letting you read the texts and making sure you met this man--to reassure you.

    Do you have any other insecurity issues with your marriage? Why do you not trust your wife?
  • May 7, 2010, 10:24 AM
    Synnen

    Okay... I'm an idiot. Didn't watch dates, didn't read the whole thread.

    To the OP--glad everything is better, and glad that you've talked about it with your wife.

    I'm so happy things are going better for you
  • May 15, 2010, 03:02 PM
    Shadowburn

    One of my best friends is a guy, and he is not even a gay, and we text/call each other pretty often, sometimes daily. He lives in a different city, so we very rarely see each other in person. I am totally unattracted to him and would never even think of having more then a platonic friendship with him - you don't make friends with people you have a physical attraction to.

    If that guy is really a gay, than you have nothing to worry about. They are not attracted to women, that's just how their brains are wired.
  • May 17, 2010, 10:38 AM
    Kitkat22

    Gay guys do not go after women, married or single. Give your wife a break. Don't panic.
  • Jun 22, 2010, 11:20 AM
    mastershah
    Mate there is no such thing as gay did you know recent surveys suggest over 90% of people after coming out of the closet still encounter sexual relationships with the opposite sex.

    Look your wife might be faithful and all that, but bottom line is he's gay is becoming the new thing to decieve a partner.

    You should hire a private detective. There is no shame in this, if you were cheating expect same treatment, and if she is a cheat you leave her pal, who cares how hot she is - 6.5 billion people on this planet, over half of which are woman. If she does not appreciate you and feels the need to with confused men then sack it off.

    Get the detective mate, what's all this invasion of privacy nonsense, your married to the woman, you took vows, what's your is hers, and what's hers is yours, she shouldn't make you physically ill and feel so depressed and hurt, that isn't love.

    Talk to her tell her gently that you are struggling to accept this relationship, at least tell her to tone it down, what kind of example is she setting on kids, its cool to speak to men if they are gay for hours on end when your other half is in the room next door FREEKING out - that's bull pal. Be strong, detective is way forward. The TRUTH will set you free...
  • Jun 22, 2010, 01:42 PM
    Cat1864
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by mastershah View Post
    Mate there is no such thing as gay did you know recent surveys suggest over 90% of people after coming out of the closet still encounter sexual relationships with the opposite sex.

    Please cite your source for this comment.
  • Jun 22, 2010, 02:18 PM
    Synnen

    Really? "No such thing as gay"?

    Sources, please.

    I'd love to see these studies, and love to know if they're done by a reputable scientific source.

    Otherwise--you're blowing smoke because YOU don't believe that being gay is something you ARE, not something you DO.
  • Jun 22, 2010, 09:39 PM
    hheath541

    I have doubts the research even exists. It sounds completely made up, to me.
  • Apr 26, 2011, 12:45 AM
    KentCt
    I think most are wrong.. A lot of Gay or Lesbians are Bi-sexual. They could have or might have some sort of sexual encounter. I really think if you're married its wrong and weird to have opposite sex friends. Of course there are Gay men who are totally just gay and in that case no big deal. Hang out with the two of them more often and watch their body language and you will know if they think you're not watching.

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