Quote:
Originally Posted by verbattered52
On another post you are seeking employment. I'm sure you are aware that if you FIND employment you no longer have a disability claim.
Work out of your home IS income-producing work.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by verbattered52
On another post you are seeking employment. I'm sure you are aware that if you FIND employment you no longer have a disability claim.
Work out of your home IS income-producing work.
Yes, I am aware of that. However, you are allowed to make a certain amount of $ and receive disability, too. I am not able to work full time, but obviously, can type.
Are there laws about spouse abuse where you are??
[QUOTE=Comments on this post
verbattered52 disagrees: Felt this answer was rather catty.QUOTE]
First, read the rules of the site concerning "approve" and "disapprove."
Secondly, when you post one set of circumstances on one thread and another set on another thread, expect someone to notice.
It's not the least bit unusual for someone to read other posts in order to get a sense of the OP and, in fact, other people have received greenies for it.
As far as the legality of working from home and collecting disability - you cannot be working when you file for SSD or else you aren't disabled. I'm not aware of any private insurance policy that pays for partial disability. I'd like to know more about the company you are going through.
So I don't understand your attitude.
I'm guessing he's probably insecure, which is why he tried to make himself look good at first. And now he's probably more insecure that you're not making as much money, maybe he's afraid he can't provide. Or he's just a big jerk. Either one. No matter what, he should NEVER talk to you like that and you need to stand up for yourself, even if that means leaving. Since your not very dependent on him, you'll do fine. Maybe he thinks you're dependent on him, so he feels he can say whatever, do whatever, and it won't matter because you can't leave. Which, if you need to, you can.
Judy Kay
Please understand I am trapped because of a lack of income. I had back surgery in 2004 due to an accident, and the surgery was unsuccessful. I have chronic pain not only in my back but in my pelvic bone, my butt and right leg. I also have nerve damage in right arm due to a broken elbow, and then we can throw in carpel tunnel and depression. I am desperate! I couldn't pay for an attorney, nor do I have a place to go. Do you understand more about me now?
, I apologize.
Are you coming up with a plan yet?
No, but I am trying. I'm also getting pretty verbal with him and not letting him talk to me with disrespect. However, I am still in a position where I have to ASK for gas money, etc.
Don't yell and scream. Just use as few words as necessary and be reasonable and calm and firm -- like a third grade teacher talking with her male students whom she caught looking at the artists' portraits of naked ladies in the encyclopedia.Quote:
Originally Posted by verbattered52
I am not a screamer. Here's a good example of what I mean. We went to dinner with his family. I told him before we left if one disrespectful comment came out of his mouth during dinner the war was on. I told him I was not going to sit there without dishing the crap back and I didn't think he really wanted ME to air our dirty laundry.
I think that is how I would have handled it.
I WARN first and then that's it! You warned him and then bring out the cannon if he wants to light the fuse. He has to learn that you are not a door mat and you will not sit there and take it any more.
Next stage: Refuse to go anywhere with him.
Since he's acting like a child, yes, treat him like one. Warn, then if he screws up, follow through.
I'm glad you are acting and not just reacting.
Thank you for everything!
Stay in touch! Be calm and reasonable, but firm and consistent. Remember, he's acting like a 2 y/o, so deal with him accordingly when he acts like that.Quote:
Originally Posted by verbattered52
Thank you, and please keep in touch, as well.
You've come a long way. I'm proud of you and glad we met.Quote:
Originally Posted by verbattered52
I had a very bad week. He is been especially cruel and nasty this week. I have literally been nautious, had loss of appetite, diahrea, and had no energy. I know these are sympoms of depression and anxiety and I am taking medicine for both. I could not concentrate on reading, had no motivation or energy to attempt any physical task, and was visibly shaky. What a terrible feeling.
My dear, you don't deserve this. You must find a way out.
Your body is sending you some very strong signals. This is a stroke or heart attack waiting to happen(heaven forbid).
He is clearly aware of how he is hurting you.Is he gleaning pleasure from this? Its like he is punishing you for something.
You need to get out.. get away.. and let him find another punching bag for his aggression and anger.
Try not to give in to depression as it will make you give up the fight and fight you must for your sanity and dignity.
Stay strong and get away from this abuse!
You give me the same advise I would give anyone else. It's easier said than done. I do not want to go to some shelter, and I have nowhere else to go.
You have just said that it is easier said than done, but IMO there is no reason to put up with abusive behavior. The first time you are a victim, after that you are a volunteer and you allow it.
You need to leave this man. Love yourself more than the false sense of security staying there may bring.
I wish you well.
Everyone says leave. Can someone tell my how, where to go, and how to support myself?
Quote:
Originally Posted by verbattered52
Everyone has not advised you to leave. If that is your decision, then you find a job - you have posted you are disabled but have coverage which allows you to collect and work part-time - and then the rest falls into place.
Everyone has done their very best to advise you and I don't know what you expect anyone to say that hasn't already been said.
Quote:
Originally Posted by verbattered52
If you have no where to go or anyone to stay with you can always go to a shelter or start looking around for a place.
Do what you feel like you are able to do when you feel you are ready. I understand it's scary to be in your position. My husband likes to make disrespectful comments around other family members, so I do understand some of what you are going through.
First you are not stupid, everybody makes mistakes but nobody deserves to be disrepected and belittled. You need to talk to your husband and see what the problem so you all can resolve it yourselves. I know you love him but believe me I've been through this before and it is very stressful. If you don't resolve it now you will be very drained. While I was in the same situation not only did it weigh heavy on me but I became very sick from the stress. At 20 yrs old (many yrs ago) I developed "Shingles" from the stress and my hair began to fall out. The Shingles run up and down your nerves and sends shocking pains in that area, not a very good feeling. Get out if this situation if he's not willing to change, for your own health. If he truly loves you as his wife then he'll work through this for the sake of you all future. I hope I helped a little!
Quote:
Originally Posted by tashea25
I'm sorry you went through this but shingles is not caused by stress. Shingles is caused by the same virus - varicella zoster virus - which also causes chickenpox. The virus remains in your central nervous system, dormant (without symptoms). When the virus becomes active again, it causes the symptoms of shingles. No one is sure why the virus becomes active. However, it does seem to be linked to a weakened immune system, such as in people who are ill (such as with cancer or HIV), have had major surgery.
This virus is in the same family as herpes.
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