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Originally Posted by BlackVY

Thanks... yeah... I just ended it with her... this is the hardest thing I've eva had to do and it hurts like crazy, but it just wouldn't work. I do feel like such a fool, like I was the one who was too hard to be with. Yeah people will understand and support me, but I still feel like I'm worthless. Nothing more I can do I guess... here is where the No Contact comes in... man this is gonna kill... :( :( :(

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Geez... take heart. That was tough, eh.

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Originally Posted by frangipanis

geez.......... take heart. That was tough, eh.

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Yup... tougher than anything else I've eva done... this girl meant the world to me... I wanted her to be my wife... no matter what problems we had, I was there for her and neva left her, she was the perfect girl for me... well, almost perfect... she couldn't do one of the most important things... marry me... O well, guess life goes on... if I can really call it life now... :(

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Originally Posted by BlackVY

Yup... tougher than anything else I've eva done... this girl meant the world to me... I wanted her to be my wife... no matter what problems we had, I was there for her and neva left her, she was the perfect girl for me... well, almost perfect... she couldn't do one of the most important things... marry me... O well, guess life goes on... if I can really call it life now... :(

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Well, nothing is forever and what is not meant to be cannot be forced. I'm sure you're hurting but I guess there's nothing to do but work your way through the pain.

Sorry it worked out this way but it sounds like it very well may have been for the best. Better now than after you were married.

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Well, nothing is forever and what is not meant to be cannot be forced. I'm sure you're hurting but I guess there's nothing to do but work your way through the pain.

Sorry it worked out this way but it sounds like it very well may have been for the best. Better now than after you were married.

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Yeah... I guess... couldn't force it... and yeah, better now than later... such a shame... lots of pain to work through... O well, got to do what I got to do...

As painful as it was to end things, it appeared she just wasn't ready to deal with several aspects going on in her life. Maybe this will be the catalyst that helps her move forward and make some substantial changes in her life. Maybe not... but you were nothing but supportive.
I wish you well and much joy in the future. It sounds cliche', but time really does help... treat yourself well and surround yourself with family and friends.

Yeah, I am sorry to hear things turn up the way it did. I was rooting for a different outcome then this and thought she was on board with everything but she has issues that she need to resolve and only she can do it. Keep your up because you did nothing wrong and remember what don't kill you only makes you stronger. It is only her lost but it will be someone else gain.

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Originally Posted by DoulaLC

As painful as it was to end things, it appeared she just wasn't ready to deal with several aspects going on in her life. Maybe this will be the catalyst that helps her move forward and make some substantial changes in her life. Maybe not....but you were nothing but supportive.
I wish you well and much joy in the future. It sounds cliche', but time really does help....treat yourself well and surround yourself with family and friends.

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Thanks a lot... I guess you are right, she wasn't ready for things, but at 27 years old, I thought she would be more mature and capable. Guess I was wrong. I'm only 24, but I've always had a thing for older women, because I'm very mature for my age and I just wanted someone I could connect with on my level... hard to find...

Well, I do hope for her sake she gets her life back on track... I've helped in as much as I can and this is what happened, so I just hope she will be OK on her own...

Yeah... time does help... but the question is how much time... O well, I will surround myself with friends and family and hopefully all will be good in time... Thanks for the kind words... Peace...

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Originally Posted by liz28

Yeah, I am sorry to hear things turn up the way it did. I was rooting for a different outcome then this and thought she was on board with everything but she has issues that she need to resolve and only she can do it. Keep your up because you did nothing wrong and remember what don't kill you only makes you stronger. It is only her lost but it will be someone else gain.

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Thanks a lot... I was hoping for another outcome too... but in the end... after I heard all that she had to say, I knew it could never work and she would not be able to marry me or be with me properly. It is something she had to sort out for herself, which she doesn't seem to want to do, or be able to do. There was nothing more I could do.. but I tried my best... Hope I do get stronger from this.. and we'll see if someone else can gain from this... because I sure didn't... :(

BlackVY, you hit it right on. Take this time and spend it with family and friends because they will help you through this.

How much time will it take? No one knows you have to take it day by day. In the meantime don't listen to sad love songs or love movies. Whenever I feel down I put on some upbeat music and watch comdies. Laughter is good for your soul.

Also, you will see in the end how stronger this situation has made you. You might not see it now because the heartache is fresh but in time you will. You know what song I like and listen to a lot. I will survive by Arthea Franklin. I love that song.

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Originally Posted by liz28

BlackVY, you hit it right on. Take this time and spend it with family and friends because they will help you through this.

How much time will it take? No one knows you have to take it day by day. In the meantime don't listen to sad love songs or love movies. Whenever I feel down I put on some upbeat music and watch comdies. Laughter is good for your soul.

Also, you will see in the end how stronger this situation has made you. You might not see it now because the heartache is fresh but in time you will. You know what song I like and listen to alot. I will survive by Arthea Franklin. I love that song.

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Thanks... yeah.. I will get help from my loved ones to help me though this... and yeah, we don't know how much time it'll take... but one day at a time... laughter is good... I miss laughing actually.. I used to laugh a lot... I hope I will be stronger from all this and maybe I will be happy again one day... That is a good one... and I know I will survive... Thanks

I would have the Church wedding... why cheat yourself out of it over her brother. In a sense then he won cause he caused a problem without even being there.

S0 have the church wedding! Who says it has to be traditional?
Think outside of the box.
You are GOING to be sharing your family with her once you are married so why not share them with her now in the ceremony.
Ask family members of yours to sit on 'her side' of the church. Start with the ones that are already close to her.
If she doesn't have friends to walk down the aisle have her ask your friends and family.
You can make it work just figure it out somehow.