Thesorryhusband and threetimesout are the SAME person.
Sorryhusband/threetimesout, would you care to explain to EVERYONE exactly what you are playing at?
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Thesorryhusband and threetimesout are the SAME person.
Sorryhusband/threetimesout, would you care to explain to EVERYONE exactly what you are playing at?
I am threetimesout... I was a little concerned about the sorryhusband... I almost thought my husband found out I was on here asking questions... can you explain what you mean
What's up CB?
All good now?
A
Curlyben... can you answer me?
Sorry Ash, we have a PERFECT IP match for these two accounts and my experience points to this being some one playing games with us.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ash123
Shame really.
I don't appreciate you saying that I am playing games when I am going through something quite devastating in my marriage. If thesorryhusband is my husband then I am truly embarrassed that he read my post and all the advice... what is an ip match for these two accounts.
It means your husband is posting the responses from the same computer you are using... or you are. An IP match means it is YOUR computer posting both message sets.
Based on that, don't bother getting mad at Curly for being suspicious, OK. It's perfectly reasonable, and it has happened here on the forum before that someone posted mutliple responses with multiple accounts in the same thread just to jerk everyone around, OK?
If that's NOT you, fine, say so. But know that two sets of answers are coming from your computer.
Well it tells you how desperate he is to try an make things work... it also pisses me off that while he was home then yesterday morning he chose to sit at the computer doing god knows what else... thank you for answering me.
I saw somewhere that I could block the user... I will do that and then confront him... now I feel embarrassed... he knows everything and I still no nothing.
If your husband has in fact been reading and posting here (on the "sly") I don't think it necessarily means that he's wanting to work on the marriage. It speaks more of manipulation and avoidance... it also may be a way of trying to "control" you. Be careful.
The dysfunction continues...
Get thee to a new life.
Or stay and live this joke of a marriage forever...
If his posts were sincere attempts to keep you two talking, I think THAT'S the most important point to be made here. Marriage is supposed to be stronger than the issues.
It is.
Anyway, if this is really just someone having fun with us, nothing can be done. I stand by all I've recommended so far and I will be adding nothing more to this thread.
OMG! I can't believe everything I have read in these six pages! Just because your husband enjoys looking at porn does not mean you should leave him! And so what if he has been posting on your thread. He doesn't have a right to answer something that concerns him?
When you say teen porn I am assuming you are talking about sites with 18+ girls? Girls any younger are illegal and if you believe they are younger you should report the site. 18, 19 and 20 are young girls however there is nothing illegal about that and last time I checked most sites have young girls on them. I have not met many men who like to look at older woman on porn sites!
Now to the whole sex and porn issue. Have you ever tried surfing the internet with your husband to look at the porn? Have you ever watched a porn movie together? I know you said your not a prude so if not why not try to indulge him in his fantasy. Everyone has a fantasy and what better person to enjoy it with or be able to communicate about it then with your spouse. Maybe if you watch a movie with him or sit next to him next time he decides to surf it will be you reaping the benefits of his excitement and not his hand!
Never give up on a marriage just because the sex has fallen off! Try something new. It just means you two have gotten comfortable together and need some new things to spice up the relationship. There are plenty of things you can try. Adult toys, lotions, and guess what, Porn!
Please do not take any of this as it's just another man's opinion. It is not. I am a thirty year old woman who watches porn with her husband. It does not make me sick or addicted to porn. It makes me enjoy making my husband happy and making our relationship happy. Please give it a try sometime.
Yes everyone thesorry husband is her husband I have been trying to get her to forgive me about looking at porn on the internet I have tried just about everything but she says she can't get the thought out of her head about me looking at it. She says she wants a separation but she won't talk about how we will do it.. I have stopped looking at porn and have no desire to do it again I am glad she caught me in away because it helped me realize that I did have a problem I wish that I could go back in time and change all of it but I can't I do love my wife and do want things to work out between us but she wants nothing to do with me I can't blame her because I haven't been a very good husband she means the world to me she says I am addicted to it but I was addicted to drugs and alcohol when I met here and ihave been clean of drugs for about 4 years and have the occasional drink when we go out I JUST WANT ALL OF YOU TO KNOW THAT I LOVE MY WIFE AND HOPE TO RESOLVE THIS BAD ISSUE SO I OR WE CAN GET ON WITH THE LIFE AND HUSBAND SHE MARRIED PS ILOVE YOU THREETIMESOUT AND I HOPE YOU CAN FORGIVE ME AND I PROMMISE THAT THERE WILL BE NO MORE ADDICTIONS ACCEPT FOR THE ADDICTION I HAVE FOR YOU
Actions do speak louder than words.Quote:
I have been trying to get her to forgive me
You have no idea what it does to a woman to realize that her husband is getting off through porn or fantasy rather than her. It can leave her feeling inadequate, that she doesn't measure up, that she doesn't have what it takes to turn her husband on. By indulging in porn you have basically invited other people into your bed, a place which to her should be reserved for just the two of you.Quote:
Originally Posted by thesorryhusband
It can take a long time to heal that hurt and to restore her trust in you.
And I understand that some women don't mind porn and even share it with their husband. But for the most part that is the exception rather than the rule.
I would also advise you to get some counseling so that you can understand your addictive personality. Because an addiction signifies a lack of control, even an addiction to another person can be destructive.
The sorr husbandQuote:
Because an addiction signifies a lack of control, even an addiction to another person can be destructive.
Actually addiction is a symptom of a deeper problem that has to be identified, and addressed, and until you do both, I don't think, either of you will be happy, and you most certainly will not be healthy. No shame in getting help, for yourself. Being sorry is not enough.
Ok I Understand Your Point Of View I Really Do But I Think Your Blowing This A Little Out Of Proportion I Could Understand You Being Mad Because He Didn't Say The Truth I Mean He Should Be Able To Open Up To You But Understand While Your Almost Divorcing Him Because Of That Lie How Do You Think Hes Going To Tell You The Truth Knowing You Don't Like Him Watching Porn. Maybe Hes Embarrassed To Open Up To You I B Een With My Husband For Four Years And I Was Secretly Watching Porn Behind His Back Until I Told Him That I Liked To Watch Porn Didn't Know Why But I Did And We've Watched Together And Now I Don't Feel Like Watching It No More Because I Know He Wouldn't Mind. Just Try To Talk To Him Don't Be So Negative Almost All Porn Sites Are Teens Supposedly Doesn't Necessarily Mean Hes Pedophile Or Something Like That He Probably Likes The Way They Look Try To Understand Him And Seduce Him If You Really Love Him You Know What Best Thing To Try Even If Only You Try Once In A Lifetime Buy One Of Those Seethru Lingerie And I Bet You He Will Definitely Be More Interested In You. Hope You Give This A Thought And I Hope This Really Helps.
From the sorry husband this is the end my wife has moved on with her life we have got separated she is on lavalife looking for someone else she is happy now she has no feelings for me all she wants is to meet someone new she is happy she got the house and did not even want too work things out with me that's a shame be cause I admitted being wrong and told her I would do anything to work it out but she doesn't want to give me the time of day I think the worst part of it all was the day before I moved out her daughter was leaveing for school (fathers day weekend) and turned to me and said see you later jerk after being there for her for the last 7 years
Yeah, it sucks when people hold you accountable for things, huh? Saying I'm sorry should just fix everything, huh? Especially if you're really sorry. Or really, really, REALLY sorry.
Anyway. Now you know. You don't live in a vaccuum. Sometimes the dog bites you anyway, and that's perfectly understandable.
Try to learn constructive things from all of this. There is much for you to benefit from... unless you spend a lot time grumping over her (and her choice) instead.
Tomorrow we try again, we try better.
Sorryhusband,
Unfortunately a person can be sorry for their actions and still not reasonably expect others to forgive them or to bend to their wants.
You left your marriage a long time back, based on the expectations of the woman you exchanged vows with. You drew "first blood". And then lied.
Being sorry you were caught isn't enough. Being sorry you lost your wife isn't enough. And simply being sorry for all the right reasons isn't necessarily enough.
She left you long after you left her. Sometimes we learn by getting kicked in the teeth a few times... I think you've both learned, but have different answers for what is next.
We feel so sorry for ourselves, and can't understand why people have had enough.
My husband and I have been married for almost 3 years. For 2 1/2 years I've had a problem with his looking at porn.
He always looks at teen porn and we have a 21 month old daughter . I wish I could tall you something that would help you, but unfortunately my marriage is and my life is in shambles. I only post this to let you know you are not alone. I wish you the best of luck and will pray for you. Love in christ, rissa
I just got out of a five year relationship that ended for many reasons, one being my ex’s sex addiction. I really think you need to look this up and learn more about it, you may be dealing with a bigger problem then you think. Some people watch porn now and then, that’s gross but not that big of an issue. When your partner’s porn habits are affecting his relationship with you, then it’s a huge problem and may be a sex addiction issue. Men with these kinds of issues have to really want to change and get help or the problem will only get worse over time, believe me. It really makes a woman feel disgusting and horrible to find that not only are you not satisfied in your sex life, but your partner is off looking at some degrading disgusting image and enjoying himself with out you. This is not something you want to struggle with for the rest of your life. You need to read about sex and porn addiction, believe me it will make sense when you read it. You need to have a serious talk with him about your sex life and the changes that need to be made and see if he is willing to work on it, even if he tries to deny looking at porn having sex only every other month is not normal and there is definitely a problem their. You deserve to be with some one that wants you with out having to be told to want you, please look up sex addiction and read about it, it will help you.
thesorryhusband,
I don't understand why everyone jumps to the whole he must be a sex addict thing every time a guy likes to watch porn! Does Masturbation with out porn make you a sex addict? My suggestion is to find someone who shares the same interests as you! If you see this as a problem get help, if not, next time you are on your first date it might not be a bad idea to ask if she watches porn.
OHHH the porn issue been there, my husband had videos and left them in the family room vcr and my son who was about 3 at the time turned on the TV to watch barney but instead he got porn, needless to say I went ballistic. The next incident I happened to be driving his car and went to the grocery store and found tapes sticking out of his tool bag I brought them in the house and smashed them with a hammer in his face. Most recently I found 2 DVD's in his portfolio and I went at them again. Now he is talking to other women on his cellphone. I hate to be a pessamist but things don't get better at least not for me. He is the biggest liar I know. Right now I can't stand to look at him.
we have members here, male and female, who use porn as a healthy enhancement to their life together in the bedroom. Its shared and appreciated by both.
the issue within a marriage... not within society or within ones religious beliefs or other social groups... is when does an action adversely affect that relationship? When does ones action begin to violate the promises made to the other? Obviously, within a marriage, that is open to the interpretation of two different people.
his watching porn doesn't mean he is an addict. His hiding porn doesn't either, no more than hiding the playboy under the mattress as a teen made me an addict. Not all who drink are alcoholics. Not all who watch porn are scum of the earth jerks who neglect their wives.
but when it DOES begin to affect the bedroom, and then the relationship overall... when it starts to rip apart a marriage... even then, it doesn't mean he's addicted... it means he values porn over his marriage. He disregards her needs for his... and sometimes that's fine. My partner doesn't need to agree with everything I do or like, and she doesn't need my green light before doing things she likes. But obviously there are boundaries in certain areas.. you pick your fights and decide what is most important to you.
what's the "better" scenario? His being an "addict" or just a guy who doesn't give a damn?
from the woman's point, its probably all just semantics.
understand I don't care all that much whether he watches it or whether he won't see a movie rated R. all I care about is whatever he does, is it legal and does it strengthen or weaken the marriage? If it weakens it, how much? How important is it?
in some of these cases, its clearly about trust issues and a lack of attention, intimacy, and honoring vows.
Woman in general with themselves and in sex when you know your husband watches porn. I know exactly how you feel because my wife used to be the same way. When she was pregnant I watched porn and she was very insecure but I made her secure about it by talking to her telling her I love her and that its JUST a movie when its over I will lay down next to her and be with her. Maybe it different because we are young I am 19 and she is 20. Talking to her about it made her feel very secure and now we watch it together kind of crazy I know but we watch it only when we want to do something new. If I see something I like I tell her and same with her. We watched it together 3 times in the last year its not like I love it or an addiction.
Like I said it is JUST a movie.
Forgive him... but its his responsibility to make you feel secure and comfortable about it.
ITS NOT LIKE HE IS CHEATING... Forgive him and talk to him
Sounds like me... after finding out that he was on porn websites and confronted him... said he was wrong.. wouldn't do it anymore... by the way... we don't have sex much at all... which sucks. But, he's still going on sites only now he knows how to clear it off the computer so I can't see what he's up to...Quote:
Originally Posted by threetimesout
I don't know what to do either... been married for 20 years... am I just F.. or what.
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