 |
I will agree, trust is a hard thing to re-gain. I had the issue of not being able to trust people afraid the betrayed me until our counselor explained to me that trust is something that I would have to allow myself to re-gain and that I couldn't depend on my husband to help me with it... it was all on me. She also explain that trust was for me and not him. After that it just clicked... it got it.
I don't know if he does. I hope he understands what he is doing and how I am feeling. If he doesn't, I hope he does soon.Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainRich
That makes a lot of sense. That is one smart couselor you went to. ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by rankrank55
If he has given me a reason not to trust him it is going to take time before I am able to again.
Most people don't until they've about lost it all. :(Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainRich
Exact-a-mundo!Quote:
Originally Posted by rankrank55
And that's why I suggested she needs to set up a visit, ;) ;) , to Mom's... eh??
OOOOOOOHHHHHHHH now I see where you are going with this! It's actually quite clever! :rolleyes:Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainRich
You guys are all full of great ideas. Thank you. :)
Your welcome! :D
Okay he just called me from work saying he talked to this girl on the phone. Apparently I was "misunderstanding" the nature of all of these messages. He said that she wanted to talk to him about when he was going to get a job in Kentucky before he got this awesome job offer. She wanted to "make sure that was what he really wanted".
She posted a comment on the bulletin he put out about his new job offer saying "I dont wish you luck". How freakin rude is that?
She sounds like a stalker! Dangerous! IMOQuote:
Originally Posted by nauticalstar420
Whooaa what a scallywag that lass be! Sorry still in pirate mode! Star to be honest, it still sounds fishy to me. The little comment she made translates as "flirt" in my eyes. Keep your guard up.
I don't believe anything until I hear it with my own ears or see it with my own eyes.
I just wrote the (insert bad words here) a myspace message asking her what the hell her problem is.
I'm done, tired of it, and not taking it anymore. The only thing I can do right now is cry.
That's how I am Star... can't fully believe anything until I get hardcore evidence! You have a right to ask her what the bleep her problem is! It's OK to cry to, better that then breaking everything in sight!
Star, so sorry to hear all of this, I wish you well with this, I really do. I hope you do have a good cry it always seems to help, to release the pain... I am sorry sweet. I think going to visit mom is a great idea!
Thank you hun. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by startover22
I am having a good cry now as we speak, and it seems to be helping a bit.
Oh how I wish I could be right there holding your hand. How I wish I could give you a big huge hug and let you cry on my shoulder. How horrible, you are such a sweety and now this.
Unfortunately I think you aleady know the answer you are trying to avoid.I f it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it is a duck. Now the hard part, you need to decide what you need to do with your present situation
If you still love him and he still loves you then try councilling, but if he doesn't think he needs you then leave him and I'm sure one day he will be like "Wow life is bad without her".
There is a lot of pages and I don't really have much time, so if I'm like missing something let me know.
Tell him to either explain what is going or you are leaving him.
And I would talk to the little sister. Just don't stoop to her level else your husband won't see why he should be with you.
And remember you always have your kids so if he leaves who needs him!
Its all done and over with anyway. I'm asking him for a divorce when I get home. She messaged me saying it was "nothing" and "not my problem".
I'm tired of the lies, and tired of the bull****.
Oh sweet... I am pm-ing you
He just called me and ripped me a new ***hole saying "you just couldnt leave it alone" referring to me messaging her. Something I don't think I deserved...
Nope, you sure didn't. You do what is in your heart. But if you need to talk, I am right here...
Tell him he gave you no choice because he JUST wasn't straight with you. Bottom line.
I told him that already, and he still said "you should have trusted me".
Quote:
Originally Posted by nauticalstar420
Oh Star, I can only imagine how hurt and upset you must be right now. This is just so awful. Like everyone else said I wish we could all be there with you in your living room giving you a good shoulder to cry on.
I think Captain has a great idea to get out of the situation for a few days to clear your head and figure out what you want and what you need to do in this situation. He needs to get that there are ramifications for our actions in this life. If everything was so innocent then he should have come clean right from the get go. This girls sounds like a complete trollop. Why would she even care if your husband was interviewing in KY?
This situation just gets me so steamed. You are such a sweetheart you do not deserve people in your life to act like such rats!
Thank you Glinda. Everyone's thoughts and responses mean so much to me.
SERIOUSLY?Quote:
Originally Posted by nauticalstar420
Uh, should his loyalty not be to his wife? How are you to trust him when he is acting in such an untrustworthy manner? He is acting like an absolute goof!
My thoughts exactly.Quote:
Originally Posted by GlindaofOz
Goof? You're too polite!Quote:
Originally Posted by GlindaofOz
He needs his @ss kicked!
This guy is unbelievable...
Absolutely.Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainRich
He is being a total double dirty rat and no one needs someone like that around :mad:
I agree, except... remember we are all angry and we need to be calm and get down to the truth... They still need to talk to each other face to face, he has a lot of shame to bring out into the open, we all know how hard it is, so the anger of course sets in at first...
Star, your anger is completely justified, I just want you guys to talk, see what the big picture is and if he is going to come clean. Remember, breaking it off is HUGE, and I am not saying you shouldn't just make sure it is what you need to do.
Please, talk with him or go clear your head at Mom's house. Or a friends so you can relax a bit and think. I wish I lived near you. I would invite you...
Aww thanks start, I'd take you up on that offer too. :)
I'm going to see how things go when he gets home from work.
From now until he gets home will give me time to calm down.
Very good idea, even though he is a stinky rat...
Even I am mad... (me? Mad?)
And will be thinking about you all night.
Thank you start. :)
I need to be rational and think and discuss this with him calmly before I make any decisions.
Sorry to hear your going through all this turmoil, and can only hope you take the time to get over those very raw feelings, and talk in person to an older trusted person that you respect, before you make any decisions at this time.
See! That's what we're used to, calm and collected. Just don't buy into the crap. He's going to plead and try to play as if he's the victim. YOU KNOW BETTER! He needs to close his account at that face-space-place-book-crap thing.Quote:
Originally Posted by nauticalstar420
Start is absolutely right. Everyone is mad on here so naturally your anger is obscenely higher then ours.
Keep in your mind that to come out this from a place of anger to your husband will cause him to completely shut down. However, if you approach it calmly and rationally and maintain calm throughout the conversation it will be a productive and good conversation - even if the outcome is yuck. The goal is to get him to not shut down.
I think the right now is the best time for anger to be expelled so that you can get yourself to a place of feeling rational. Do whatever helps you cool out. I know for me when I'm mad I need to go for a run and boost those endorphins. I have friends who need to be alone and quiet in fact my best friend typically only needs a long hot shower then she's calm and collected.
Yeah I think he needs to close that account too... lol. I'm thinking about taking my cell phone away from him too.Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainRich
Music makes me feel better. I currently have music blasting in my face. :pQuote:
Originally Posted by GlindaofOz
You are right on Captain...
I just think anger can make things work, it may feel good at the time but it clouds our true objective sometimes. I don't think she shouldn't be mad, just think things through a bit. We all know he is being a dirty rat...
| All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:20 AM. |