I have had the same problem, and am still dealing with it. My solution has been to maintain a warm friendship with my husband's friend, but try to re-cast it in a more platonic light. My husband knows I adore his friend. My husband does not know the extent of that adoration, and because it's never been discussed directly between the friend and me, well, I have no worries about it ever coming out. In that sense, my situation does differ from yours. However, because the friend will continue to be around (as is my situation), I can advise you there. Try to think of the friend as a brother - someone you can continue to love, but in a non-romantic way. Remind yourself when the romantic feelings "pop-up" that you're married and love your hubby, and that the friend is just a friend. It helps even more when you can find some deal-breaker type flaw that doesn't damage your friendship, but makes him less attractive as a love interest. For me, it's my friend's bad teeth (he doesn't have health/dental insurance). Every time I start to obsess on him I think of his prominent cavity and think "YUCK!!" If you can think of a similar flaw, then it does make it a little easier to get a strangle-hold on those naughty, butterflies-in-stomach feelings.