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-   -   How To Get The Spark Back (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=54232)

  • Sep 11, 2008, 03:40 PM
    talaniman
    Stick with the process, and make sure he does too!
  • Sep 14, 2008, 10:11 AM
    NowWhat
    It is a long road. Trust doesn't just come back. You can start to rebuild - one of the first things that should happen (aside from the couseling) is that if he says he is going to do something - he needs to follow through. That will help.
    For me, I needed to be reassured on everything. See, a year and half ago, I found out that my husband had an affair - my world was shattered. There were days that it seemed to hurt to breathe.
    We are now making our way back. I needed to know where he was, when he would be home, etc. If he said he would be home by 6, he had better be pulling in the driveway at 6. If not, I expected a call. There were/are times I feel like a warden - but I need to know that he is going to do what he says he is going to do.

    We also started "date night". Our counselor instructed that we have one NO LESS than every other week. We are guilty of getting caught up in the day to day life - we sometimes would forget to nurture our relationship.

    We do simple, nice things for each other - if it is just a text message in the middle of the day saying "I love you".

    And the last is commitment to making the relationship work and giving yourself time to heal.

    Good Luck from someone who has been there.

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