Ask Me Help Desk - My ex is getting married in a few months and wants me at his wedding?

Quote:

Originally Posted by yourluckyystar

Me and my ex-boyfriend were on and off for two years. We went through a lot together ( he had a drug addiction, and I was there through the whole thing ) so I understand why he would want to be friends. But he invited me to his wedding, and even offered to pay for my plane ticket. When I asked him why he said " your the only person who was always there for me and never gave up on me." Then he continues to say how his girlfriend got pregnant so they decided to get married, which has me thinking he doesn't really love her. Who invited their ex to their wedding? Is it just me or does it seem like there's some kind of alternative motives?

No, I don't think he has an ulterior motive. I think he thinks of you as a friend.

I can see why people on here seem to be passionate aout this subject.

We all have different views on this.

I for one, happen to be friends with my exhusband. Would I invite him to my wedding? Most likely not. Why? What for.

I care for my ex. I always will. Hell we are taking the kids trick or treating this year together, but for me to invite him to something so personal, I just can't. Not that I think it's a slap on the face, I just know that if I did, he would go and be hurt by it.

You, however, may not.

I understand where everyone is coming from on here. I don't disagree with anyone on here.

I think that this is a personal preference. Each person, as well as you, can only do what makes thm comfortable.

If you are comfortable, then go, if no, then don't go.

I don't think that anyone is wrong on this.

Enigma, tried to give you a greenie, site wouldn't let me {that is another thing I don't agree with, but I guess they don't want us to show favoritism} but I liked what you wrote, well said and made a lot of sense. I actually also agree with everyone else in some cases regarding exs at weddings, just not this one.

Also, there is one other person involved in this who may have an opinion, and her opinion is the one that should matter most. That would be the new bride. I would love to know what she thinks about her fiancés ex girlfriend attending her wedding.

He gave you his reason for asking you to be there. You were there through the bad times and it is because you cared that he is able to be a responsible adult. He wants to share a 'good time' with you. You might take it as a heartfelt compliment and thank you.

I look at the pregnancy as the reason for the timing not a comment on his feelings. Many people have strong feelings for each other but don't get married until something happens that puts everything into perspective like a pregnancy or a near-death experience.

You don't say how you feel about him or how long ago the last break up was. IF you have moved on and are in a better place, would it help to see him in a better place? I'll be honest in that I don't think your questioning him as much as you are yourself.

Whether you go or not, allow yourself to feel good that you helped someone. That help may not have turned out the way you thought it would or wanted it to, but obviously you made a difference and still do.

Quote:

Originally Posted by beachloverjohn

Enigma, tried to give you a greenie, site wouldn't let me {that is another thing I don't agree with, but I guess they don't want us to show favoritism} but I liked what you wrote, well said and made a lot of sense. I actually also agree with everyone else in some cases regarding exs at weddings, just not this one.

Also, there is one other person involved in this who may have an opinion, and her opinion is the one that should matter most. That would be the new bride. I would love to know what she thinks about her fiances ex girlfriend attending her wedding.

Ah ha. You made a very good point! I too would like to know how the bride will react to this.

Well I would say that its okay to go as long as his new fiancé is okay with it. He wants you there because he respects you and helped me through his trying times in his life. Whether he is getting married cause she's pregnant that should concern u. Hes getting married and if you leave it on a positive note then u will feel better. If you can't go then that okay to. You might not be able to watch him get married. The ball is in your court.