In your other thread you didn't tell us how long she's been gone.

You also say she says she hasn't had sex with this guy and you believe her.

You are obsessed with her. I really think if you take her back you will regret it.

I don't think you could ever stop throwing it up to her.

You say your marriage was happy and strong. If that's so why did she leave?

This "hobo" as you refer to her boyfriend didn't do this on his own. It takes two to Tango.

You want different answers so you started a new thread.

Nobody here is going to help you get a wife to come home if she's in love with someone else.
Nobody is going to tell you how to get her back, because frankly
She's not in love with you anymore.

You keep wanting advice and yet you don't take it. Your children are the main people you should be worried about.

If you're waiting for us to tell you to go and kick the guys tail,we aren't going to tell you to do that.

If you force her to come back she won't stay. She chose this guy over you and her children and honestly I wouldn't have her back on a bet.

You're hurt and angry but that's to be expected. She isn't worth one tear you cry. Any woman who would leave her husband and kids is in my book "like a dog in heat"

Work on finding a good Lawyer and get your kids. She'll regret it but by then I would hope you have moved on.

I guess it wasn't nuff said, heehehe...


"She chose this guy over you and her children"

That's all you need to know, buddy. Thanks Kit.

Now what are you going to do? Get the paperwork in order.

Do your kids know what's going on? They must have an idea. What have you told them? What's going on with them?

Just don't use them against her.

Time to make a move & a plan & stick with it.

Just one more note, please.

I know this may hurt like hell, but don't be confused.

Look at it this way:

There's 2 scenarios here:

She will find out the err of her ways, stop screwing this guy, stop her BS plan and realize that you are her one. You forget what has happened and never mention it again. You trust her completely and you live happily ever after. She never does that again.

Or

You wake up, realize what she's doing. (not coming back)
And that she doesn't want you.

Whatever love you feel or felt is no longer there.
Don't kid yourself anymore. Take a stand.

Make sure the kids can see their mother as much as they want. Don't punish them by trying to punish her. It will be a tough time for all of you for a while, but you will get through this.

I've told her that soon as she has her apartment she can have them week on week off, only fair, kids always need mum no matter what. {Insults removed-<>}

Good for you.

No need for name calling. Just trying to help.
Responding to your "new" post.

I'll sign off. Didn't mean to offend you.

My best of luck. Cheers.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by devstated

ive told her that soon as she has her apartment she can have them week on week off, only fair, kids always need mum no matter what. {Insults removed-<>}

---

That arrangement with the children sounds fair and reasonable.

You'll have up moments and down moments to be sure, but you will get through this and it will get better.

Wish there was a quick path, but there isn't. Just know that many have gone down that road before and have you in their thoughts.

The only comments seen here by vanheart were direct and to the point.
Sometimes that is what it takes to spur someone into moving forward and taking action even if you don't like hearing it.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by devstated

ive told her that soon as she has her apartment she can have them week on week off, only fair, kids always need mum no matter what. {Insults removed-<>}

---

You've TOLD her she can "have them"? Are your wife and kids chattel?

I am beginning to see the problems that exist in this marriage very clearly. The more OP posts, the more clear the picture becomes.

As my Grandmother used to say - "Wonder if he kisses his kids with that mouth?"

Dev- Judy's got a point there, and I'd like to know too- do you mean that you 'agreed' to a week on, week off? Or is that what you arbitrarily decided and told her she could do.

Is she going into her own apartment, without her boyfriend? Or is he moving in with her.

This is one of those posts that I would love to hear the other side of the story on.

Not sure you can, or are willing to answer this but, was there any infidelity in the marriage- ever- along the way? Also, has there been any substance abuse problems or conflicts?

I would also like to know why you never say anything positive about your wife except that she is "beautiful" and "gorgeous".
I think you have always been jealous.

Your children are barely mentioned except for the ages and you never tell us how they are doing.

All you mention is how to get your wife beautiful, gorgeous wife back.
You made it clear by starting two threads that you didn't want advice about divorce and lawyers, just how to get her back.

To call the guy a "hobo' is a bad rap on the real hobo's in the country. I believe your wife left because she is tired of your attitude and tired of being treated
Like an object.

You seem very superficial in your attitude about people. Calling her names makes me see you as an angry kid who has lost a toy. Your marriage wasn't stable and happy, if it had been she wouldn't have left. I think you are a very controlling man.

I still don't understand how she could leave her children, but then again maybe she had no other choice.