Ask Me Help Desk - I'm getting married but my boyfriends mom don't like me

Quote:

Originally Posted by yesenia13

that is true..i should talk to him before anythin..thank you i feel much better.

There you go... get it sorted out. He really needs to let his mother know he was aware of the abortion. Curious as to how she found out when your mother doesn't even know you were pregnant?

It would be good if the two of you spoke with her together. As was said, it is not fair of him to not be honest with his mother and allow her to assume it was all on you. If he won't do it... and I can certainly understand his not wanting her to be mad at him, but if he won't "man-up" to his part in it, he is not ready for the commitment of marriage.

If you two feel mature enough to marry, then you need to be mature enough to deal with any problems head on.

I also agree with what J_9 said about marrying the family. If he was not in contact with his family that would be different, but that isn't the case here and you certainly don't need the added stress of his mother being uninformed and not liking you when you are starting a marriage.

Good luck... I know it won't be easy, but it is necessary.

Seems you have more problems than just his Mom. Why do you ask how to tell your father?

I have to say if you choose to do this , your life is not going to be easy.

I think your husband may just be a mommas boy and is letting you take all the blame for this.

He didn't tell his mom he was OK with the abortion, he took you to get the abortion and he is allowing his mother to believe he's blameless.

You need to think long and hard about this because he is apparently taking the high road and leaving you to wolves.

I hope you choose wisely and take to heart what you have been told by the experts.

Is it not tradition that he be the one to ask for your fathers permission to marry you??

Sit down, have a long talk with him. He needs to find his balls and tell his Mom his part in the abortion.

If he allows this to go on and doesn't say anything, you are in for a world of trouble with his family.

As Doula C and J_9 said, you do marry the family as much as you may not want to believe that. People are different, if I don't care for someone I don't go around them and vice versa.

My first mother in law was in my words "satans sister". I spent very little time around her. When we did get together it was very uncomfortable for me and for her.

She upheld her son in every thing he did and made excuses for him.
Had I known that before I married him , I don't know whether I would have married him.

Tell your fiancé to step up to the plate and go to bat for you. See what he says.

I don't understand why your getting married and you don't know how to tell your father.

You made the choice to take a little life. What's worse then that? Tell your father then.

Can I ask why you had the abortion?

Quote:

Originally Posted by 88sunflower

I dont understand why your getting married and you dont know how to tell your father.

You made the choice to take a little life. Whats worse then that? Tell your father then.

Can I ask why you had the abortion?

I would like to know also. Why in the world would you have an aborton if he and you were planning on getting married? Why did he tell his Mom about it? Why do you dread telling your father?:confused:

Oh dear. Well you have to be nice to her, as nice as you can possibly be! Then maybe she will like you, or you can put it the other way, and not take any notice of her, be mean to her, which is difficult because she's your mum and you don't want to hurt her. But, if you don't take any notice of her, then she won't stand in your way. Come on!! You are a STRONG woman. A woman who takes charge!! DON'T LET ANYTHING STAND IN YOUR WAY!! ;) YOU GO GET MARRIED!! IT'S YOUR LIFE, YOU DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO!!

I hope this information has been of some assistance to you, if not, please do not comment.Thank you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skinnies1

Oh dear. Well you have to be nice to her, as nice as you can possibly be! then maybe she will like you, or you can put it the other way, and not take any notice of her, be mean to her, which is difficult because she's your mum and you don't want to hurt her. But, if you don't take any notice of her, then she won't stand in your way. Come on!!! You are a STRONG woman. A woman who takes charge!!!!! DON'T LET ANYTHING STAND IN YOUR WAY!!!!! ;) YOU GO GET MARRIED!!!!!! IT'S YOUR LIFE, YOU DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO!!!!

I hope this information has been of some assistance to you, if not, please do not comment.Thank you.

Watch your dates as this is an old post.