Tal is right you should tell your husband how you feel-no point delaying this. It's not going to go away,is it?

I like the way Judy said it about her ex. Didn't love him, didn't hate him, just didn't feel anything anymore.

I think that is the point you are heading for now, and inevitably, you will reach it, but, I still get the sense that if you and your husband could break down that brick wall and somehow connect again.

What if he were to realize that you would leave, if he didn't attend counselling. I know he's dug his heels in on that one, but, he can say he's not going and nothing changes. What if there was a consequence this time. He tries, or you leave.

Even if it's for a few days to really send a message here.

As to emotional cheating, I don't see you doing that to any degree that would be considered 'cheating' at all.

It is happening because you are unhappy, and you can't stuff those feelings forever. You could change jobs, move across the country; you would still be unhappy.

You are not a terrible person, wife, mother, friend. Nobody with any sense would judge you for having feelings the way you do. You're only human after all.

Thank you all for your help and advice. Jake2008 your words made me cry a bit:(. Thank you.
I decided that I will try to talk to my husband one more time. Hopefully, he will listen once. If not, then I'll tell him that neither of us are happy and the only way we could be happy is if we go separately and peacefully. He has to understand that if he keeps pushing someone away then they will go away eventually. I am hoping for the best. But your encouragement helped me. Thank you again
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night:)
Happy New Year