Ask Me Help Desk - Please help me with my marriage

Can I just say a big thank you to everyone who has sent me a message and replied and that all of your imput and opinions have been very useful to me as I do not have anyone else that I could talk to about these things, and this topic in particular

All your help so far has been very much appreciated, thank you so much, please keep the replies coming, cheers

God bless you all

Max, My gut feeling is that you've found a good old fashioned "Drama Queen"

You see very clearly where she wants to take things. You need to make a choice if you like this sort of thing.

If not, I'd still suggest you find another

Max, I think that you may need to back off.

Sometimes in relationships this 'push/pull' thing happens - one person pushes hard for what they want and the other person pulls away just as hard.

Your wife is clearly punishing you for being dishonest. Which you have apologized for a thousand times. But, she does not seem to have the capacity to forgive you and put the relationship first. This is worrying.

I think that the more you text, send flowers and plead for her to return the more you feed her desire to punish you and stay away. I would suggest that punishing you is more important to her, at this stage, than forgiving you and repairing the marriage.

I would also suggest that friendship may not be possible - let's face it that's not what you really want and she wants to keep you on her string.

So, back off. Stop giving her the ammunition to punish you and be hurtful to you. Stop with the flowers, the restaurants, the texts, the desperate pleading.

I would cease contact, get on with your life and if she decides she wants to come back that will be a bonus. Put some energy back into your boxing and stop being her punching bag.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jham123

Max, My gut feeling is that you've found a good old fashioned "Drama Queen"

You see very clearly where she wants to take things. You need to make a choice if you like this sort of thing.

If not, I'd still suggest you find another

Yes you're certainly right with her being a drama queen, I don't like this stuff to be honest, but I took this girl on because a I guess at the end of the day I love her and loved her.

But you're sure right, she is a drama queen and somewhat more.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gemini54

Max, I think that you may need to back off.

Sometimes in relationships this 'push/pull' thing happens - one person pushes hard for what they want and the other person pulls away just as hard.

Your wife is clearly punishing you for being dishonest. Which you have apologized for a thousand times. But, she does not seem to have the capacity to forgive you and put the relationship first. This is worrying.

I think that the more you text, send flowers and plead for her to return the more you feed her desire to punish you and stay away. I would suggest that punishing you is more important to her, at this stage, than forgiving you and repairing the marriage.

I would also suggest that friendship may not be possible - let's face it that's not what you really want and she wants to keep you on her string.

So, back off. Stop giving her the ammunition to punish you and be hurtful to you. Stop with the flowers, the restaurants, the texts, the desperate pleading.

I would cease contact, get on with your life and if she decides she wants to come back that will be a bonus. Put some energy back into your boxing and stop being her punching bag.

I think I'm going to take GEMINI's advice, he's spot on with what he's said, I do need to back off, and guess il play the waiting game, unfortunately for me I'm quite impatient but I have to play strong, and be strong, if destiny has written for her to return to my life as my wife, then time will tell.

Its just that these days all I do is keep thinking about her, day and night, I'm in my own world, people at wprk have commented on me as being a million miles away too,

By the way people, I have asked for freindship. (unfortnately I read gemini's reply after I'd sent the text, she's not replied. So I'm going to leave it at that)

I shall keep posting any updates on this website

Gemini thank you and eveyone else too.

Quote:

Originally Posted by max9011

i think im going to take GEMINI's advice, he's spot on with what he's said, i do need to back off, and guess il play the waiting game, unfortunately for me im quite impatient but i have to play strong, and be strong, if destiny has written for her to return to my life as my wife, then time will tell.

its just that these days all i do is keep thinking about her, day and night, im in my own world, ppl at wprk have commented on me as being a million miles away too,

by the way ppl, i have asked for freindship. (unfortnately i read gemini's reply after i'd sent the text, shes not replied. so im going to leave it at that)

i shall keep posting any updates on this website

gemini thank you and eveyone else too.

Glad to hear that my words were relevant for your situation and good luck! Try and put your mind to other things. Let us know how you go.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gemini54

Glad to hear that my words were relevant for your situation and good luck! Try and put your mind to other things. Let us know how you go.

I will do, I shall keep you posted- thank you once again