It was kind of hard to read your post because it seemed like a big run on sentence. BUT... I can also relate from what I gathered you were saying. I left a psychologically controlling husband. He was jealous that I went out with friends and he HATED I had male friends. He would say stuff like "I had a dream that you found someone else." Or he would have to tell me he masturbated because I went to bed early and he was disappointed that I couldn't stay up with him to have sex.
There was a lot more than that but I don't have room to type it all.
Psychological abuse is no different than physical abuse. It wears you down and you think "what is wrong with me" when in fact there is nothing wrong with you. I had to leave my ex, and he refused to go to couple's counseling. Ask yourself "am I happy? Do I like to be treated like this? Would I treat him this way?" If the answers are no, I would start packing. Also, there really is a fine line between the temper of the psychological abuse turning physical. I was afraid it might happen to me. Hope this helps, we deserve better!