Either way, if you care about the man at all, your vacation is ruined! It would make no sense to waste the money when you aren't going to have a good time.

No matter what the reason. Controlling:(, scared of the GF:eek:, or just doesn't want to be left alone:confused:

Two weeks is a long time, if you actually think you will be able to have a good time, than more power to you.

I know I wouldn't EVEN if I knew it was because of a controlling, a$$hole husband.

I don't understand your going to cancel because of a controlling,a$$hole husband?
I think not.
Go on with the vaca. Tell him
"i will talk to upon my return"
Done..

I need to go off and have fun. I won't (maybe my problem) have fun if the person I love is against it (no matter what an a$$ he is)

I still feel like there is more to this story then verysad is letting on. It just doesn't make sense after 28 years that he's now all of a sudden not trusting her and acting like and imature teenager, nor does it make sense that when he tries to spend time with her she's the one consistently pushing him away. There is more here.

I agree. There is more going on here then what anyone's been told or even knows. After 28 years of marriage and grown children there certainly ought to be plenty of time to do things together and also to things on their own. I'll admit I still have to question why the OP would want to go away for 2 weeks with her widow friend, without her husband. Either way, that seems to be providing the perfect catalyst for her husband to go on this tirade which seems to be motivated by some deeper, underlying issues.

Its hard to see when you get a week or maybe more of vacation from your job a year,that is not the case here and when you are retired and spend 24/7 with each other going away for 2 weeks with a friend is no big deal what is a big deal is your husband ACTING like he's OK with it and then going against it and THEN doing everything he can do to ruin it for you
Email the friend causing proublems
When that didn't work "I know"
Set up my own trip to meet her there ?
c'mon give me a break

Maybe he is just jealous of your friend.

This is unbelievably controlling. Clearly he is jealous of your friend and makes no bones about it. He is saying me or her. If she is a decent woman the is NO reason you should have to change your plans "after the fact".

If you give into this juvenile control kiss any "you" goodbye. Two weeks with a friend (female) after giving a lifetime to family isn't too much to ask. Tell your husband to grow up and get over his childish control of your life. If he doesn't trust you after 29 years of marriage... HE is the one with issues. I know many women, much younger that regularly through the church or other places have "girls retreats" for two weeks "for women only". This gives the hubbies time to fish, hunt, and do guy things. FOR REAL... he is behaving like a total child, and making childish demands. Was your marriage always lived under such control?

I hate to admit it but many "retired" women have a similar problem. They were mostly stay at home wives, supported the husbands career and many sat at home holding down the fort while the husband "traveled" and worked in his "fun" around that.

Now that children are grown... they, the women, have time for friendships. Husbands easily spoiled to being the "center of attention, secure in the fact the children are good chaperones and the responsibility that the woman has to husband, home and family left no time for many outings or friendships, and there are many such men who were fudging on the work hours in order to fit in not so kosher recreational time, suddenly start behaving like controlling children, as THEY don't like "shoe on the other foot" when in reality all the women want is a taste of "freedom" with a good friend. No bad stuff, just good clean fun, doing EXACTLY what they want to do....with NO guilt. I mean shopping, talking, and seeing things in the world they haven't seen in years.

Your husband is clearly immaturely jealous, and perhaps a bit fearful that HE is no longer "in control" or the entire center of your existance.......His way of showing this is entirely immature. If in fact you KNOW you are doing nothing wrong, but having honest clean fun with a female companion....The you need to GO.

He doesn't sound like the kind of man you can "reason" with but more like a baby who doesn't want his mommy (you) to grow up or go out. This will only lead to more trouble in your marriage. I am sure you have waited a lifetime to have some " with but more like a baby who doesn't want his mommy (you) to grow up or go out. This will only lead to more trouble in your marriage. I am sure you have waited a lifetime to have some " like a grownup. Tell your husband he needs to stop this childish control, or you fear for the stability of the marriage.