I really agree with the other posters about taking affirmative action to save your marriage.

What I sense is fear, on your part, of putting yourself and your emotions on the line. I can absolutely understand this because you risk being kicked in the face by telling her how you feel.

You did say that she was distant and unresponsive when you were upset and emotional. So, be calm. Be sure that this is what you want and tell her that you have been waiting for the right time to tell her this. Be clear and strong and really listen to what she has to say in return. But, state your case!

If she stays, I think that you would both really benefit from speaking with an objective third party such as counselor.

Good luck.

Thanks to all who responded.

I did talk to my wife last night and she assured me she is having no second thoughts, which I fully expected her to say. I'm fine with that. At least I don't have that lingering doubt.

I have the divorce papers filled out and ready for her anytime she wants to look them over. This should be pretty cut and dried... house is mine, she keeps her bills, I keep mine. Just need a lawyer to look them over and file.

I did all I could the past 4 years and I'm letting her go to find her happiness.

Thanks again.

I am so glad you are settled in your mind, and her too. I wish you all the best in your new life, billclay.

Tick