Ask Me Help Desk - Husband is a bum

I am a mother too and so I perfectly understand what you are going through. I know it can be so frustrating when you have to combine a full-time job with parenting toddlers. Its bad that your hubby is not assisting you. My advice is that you pay for the help you are trying to avoid so that you don't break down due to stress. Do not kick him out please. Just ignore him and go about your daily duties. Do talk to him once a while about your feelings on this issue. Let him know how you feel.
However, the ultimate solution to this problem is to get a paid help. That's exactly what I have done to ease off the stress of nurturing my toddlers in addition to a demanding career.

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am a mother too and so I perfectly understand what you are going through. I know it can be so frustrating when you have to combine a full-time job with parenting toddlers. Its bad that your hubby is not assisting you. My advice is that you pay for the help you are trying to avoid so that you don't break down due to stress. Do not kick him out please. Just ignore him and go about your daily duties. Do talk to him once a while about your feelings on this issue. Let him know how you feel.
However, the ultimate solution to this problem is to get a paid help. That's exactly what I have done to ease off the stress of nurturing my toddlers in addition to a demanding career.

Topkay is absolutely wrong, this will NOT help the situation in ANYWAY...

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Originally Posted by jenniepepsi

topkay is absolutely wrong, this will NOT help the situation in ANYWAY...

If her husband is not ready to help her what is wrong in getting a paid help? Do you want her to die of stress?

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Originally Posted by jenniepepsi

topkay is absolutely wrong, this will NOT help the situation in ANYWAY...

Well, I disagree with you jennie, I think that this could also be an alternative solution to the housekeeping issue, and she is speaking from personal experience.

In fact I faced the same predicament with my ex who accused me of being a cleanliness freak when I asked him to wipe the kitchen bench, and then resisted my attempts to get a house cleaner by saying that we could do the housework together. Yea, right.

Anyway, after a year or so of getting increasingly frustrated and him not doing any housework, I hired someone to come in every week. It was bliss and it took the pressure right off. Housework just wasn't an issue any more and it really eased the tension between us.

I have a house cleaner in my new relationship, and if you can afford it, it's the best thing!

I suppose it all depends on what works for you.. my husband was this way as well when we first got married (who knows it could simply be a newly wed 'guy' thing *KIDDING*)

And I tried simply ignoring him and that only made it worse. It wasn't until we sat down and talked it out for a LNOG time (almost 3 hours) with our counselor that it got fixed.

And some people can't afford the help.

But your right, if it works for her, she should do this. I should not have said that topkay was wrong or right. Its all about experience.

Ladies, I was a house cleaner, with a girlfriend of mine for about three years. Let me tell you how it is from the other side of the fense.

After starting with a new customer, we went to work. We organized, caught everything up, changed beds, washed windows, cleaned stoves, fridges, super cleaned bathrooms and kitchens, hand washed floors, and dusted till the remaining dust bunnies ran down the driveway.

We received so many notes, and phone calls, and tips, very appreciative of the work, but more appreciative of that glorious feeling when you walk into your home at the end of the week, and all you have to do is put your feet up, order a pizza, have a shower, and hit the sack. It's bliss.

No spending your days off cleaning and picking up, let alone arranging time to get the really messy jobs done. Absolute heaven for people.

It eases the resentment, eliminates the dread of knowing those jobs have to get done, and leaves you quality time to do other things!

I eventually landed a job in my field, and we folded the business. Other women are out there though, and many that are unemployed, and looking to pick up some extra cash do not charge very much.

I have never had that luxury myself, but knowing how positive thing it can be in the lives of busy people, I would highly recommend it.