Ask Me Help Desk - Is he still cheating?

The other night I woke up to him on his phone talking to her. I didn't say a word, walked passed him checked in on the kids and the dogs and went back to bed. The next day when I got home from work I ignored him completely. He said he needed to talk to me. I told him I didn't have time, that I had other things I needed to do. Later that night when we went to bed, he told me that last nights conversation with her would be the last and how sorry he was for what he had done. He said he knows it was wrong and regrets that it ever happened. He told me that he didn't want to lose me and the kids and was crazy not to tell me that from the beginning. I really don't know after what he has put me through if I can believe him. If I can't trust him how can our love be whole?

He is still cheating on you it is called an emotional affair and I would give him an ultimatum.

I am not one to say chuck it all,after all 20 yrs. Is a big investment but you seems to be the only one invested in this relationship.

This is no innocent friendship this is an affair.Then he has the nerve to say you are being unreasonable and you are insecure.
That's appalling!!

Does he have no respect for you at all?

My dear ,I feel for you.I can tell you if this was me he would be wishing he never saw a cell phone and I'm not sure his fingers would still be able to text.

I would contact her as well,maybe she has no clue that there is a Mrs. in the picture.And if she does what does that make her?

What comes around goes around and I hope he gets his someday.

Good luck!

Quote:

Originally Posted by imconfused2

The other night i woke up to him on his phone talking to her. I didnt say a word, walked passed him checked in on the kids and the dogs and went back to bed. The next day when i got home from work i ignored him completely. he said he needed to talk to me. I told him i didnt have time, that i had other things i needed to do. Later that night when we went to bed, he told me that last nights conversation with her would be the last and how sorry he was for what he had done. He said he knows it was wrong and regrets that it ever happened. He told me that he didnt want to lose me and the kids and was crazy not to tell me that from the beginning. I really dont know after what he has put me thru if i can believe him. If i can't trust him how can our love be whole?

See how things go... hopefully he realizes he will need to show you through his actions, as well as telling you, that he is sorry and wants to rebuild the trust in your marriage. While you will never forget, you can forgive, but it takes time and much effort. For some couples, counseling works well to help move passed it... others are able to work it out on their own.

Be careful not to fall into the trap of wanting to put it in the past and just sweeping it all under the rug. Both of you need to find out why he was pulled in that direction in the first place. Doesn't mean you have to dissect it to death and keep rehashing the whole mess, but you do want to safe guard your relationship so that it can be stronger in the future and that often means some changes on both your parts.

It's easy to say what you would do if ever faced with that type of situation, but until you actually find yourself going through it... and wanting to preserve your family and the marriage you had, it becomes a very different picture and somehow it is not so cut and dry as it once seemed it would be.

I wish you much strength and courage... it's not a fun place to be in, I know.

I am glad he "rethought" his texting affair and decided on you and his family instead. Maybe he was tempted and saw he did wrong. Whatever you do, please take his apology to heart and believe him. Don't make it impossible for him to make up and go on in your marriage.