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I have never once cheated. I have been cheated on plenty of times. I was with the father to my daughter for 2 years and he cheated on me over 50 times. I ended up leaving him though. After I learned that he was never going to change. I don't beloeve in cheating.. if you wouldn't want to be hurt, then why do it to someone else?
No, not necessarily in that order. ;)Quote:
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450donn agrees: not necessairly in that order, but good enough.
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Men cheat for sex. They marry one women and they get another over time. No oral, no sex. She is cold. Blames you for all the world's troubles.
Females cheat for a relationship. Since they blame the spouse for their troubles, they need a relationship with a man. Or their man is too busy for them. They need someone to make them feel alive again.
Marriage is more about a commitment and respect than love and sex anyway. It is a business or partnership of two people raising a family together.
Women never leave a guy unless there is one in the wings. 90% of the time.
And it's only the OTHER 10% that they leave because he's cheating, or beating the living daylights out of them, or never around, or doesn't believe in making a relationship work, or whatever?Quote:
Originally Posted by vagentlemanroa
"MEN only leave a girl if they're getting sex elsewhere. 90% of the time" ---that's the turned around version of what your'e saying.
I guess I'd better point out that I'm just pointing out why I think you're wrong.
It is true that some bad guy abuse their spouse. But cheating is the question here.
Men will cheat if the old lady at home is not taking care of business. Ladies need to take care of their men. Same with men, take care of the lady in your live.
Men and women that cheat are more worried about themselves and not the spouse.
Actually, this thread is about reasons not to cheat.
I should cheat on her. No sex and complains no matter how much I work. Certain sexual acts are forbidden now and I am only 39 years old! She married someone highly sexed-up and now since we are married she thinks if I want sex that it is dirty. I would never have gotten married to her if she were not pregnant 16 years ago. I still want sex one or twice a day. If I could have it a couple times a week fine. But once every two months, five minutes in missionary-no foreplay, hand job, or bjs anymore.
How do women expect a man to live without sex. Hell, if I was 75 I would understand. I am still young and successful.
If any would cheat it would be me. But marriage is about commitment to the other person and about putting your family before your own desires.
HOW ABOUT FEAR, that the wife would kill you if she thought you were sexing up some honey, as not all woman cry and accept bad behavior.Quote:
Actually, this thread is about reasons not to cheat.
Some will actually try to put a hurting on you.
VA gentleman,
I've been thinking about your situation and I have to pipe in my two cents.
First let me tell you that I appreciate the fact that you believe in fidelity.
I'm curious, you describe your wife in such harsh terms, why? Is it because of the sex issue alone or are there other issues.
How would you describe your wife's typical day?
How do you romance your wife? Have you ever come home from work and told her to take the night off and now you'll take care of the children.
Have you ever sent her to a local Spa/Beauty shop for a massage and make over (or whatever the gals call it). Flowers can lead to wonderful things.
Read some poetry to your wife (You won't choke on the words). Let your wife know how special she is to you. Appreciate her, she deserves it.
As far as I know, no one has ever died from lack of sex.
I'm married for over 40 years and there have been times when sex was the last thing my wife wanted, fortunately they were far apart.
Next time ask her how you can make sex more fun for her.
Quote:
Originally Posted by vagentlemanroa
I wonder if your wife knows that you would not have married her if she wasn't pregnant. I wonder how that would make her feel? Does she sense it? I don't know if I would jump in the sack with someone who may hold some resentment for me.
What do you do for her? Are you meeting all of her needs? Maybe she is overworked and underappreciated. You understand that feeling don't you? Maybe if you did things for her OUTSIDE of the bedroom - she would be more willling to try things INSIDE the bedroom. Women are weird that way! If you can't be bothered to do things for her when the lights are on - why should she be bothered to do things for you when the lights are off?
Actually, I find it interesting that it was only 16 years ago that you HAD to get married.
I was pregnant 17 years ago, and there was no reason WHATSOEVER that the father of the child and I felt like we HAD to marry.
It's not like there's a social stigma on single parenthood these days.
Honestly, though---If I were your wife, I'd withhold it from you too. You talk about how hard YOU work, but what about her? Does she have a job? She a full time mom? Do you ever take over the parenting side of things--making sure your kids get to soccer, hockey, cheerleading, doctor's appointments, dental appointments, get their homework done and get to know their friends so that you know who they're hanging out with?
You ever take over EVERYTHIGN for a week, so that she can primp and feel like a girl?
How about romancing her---do you do it? With the resentment you have about sex, I'm betting you don't. And I ALSO bet that anytime you do something nice for her, you get mad if you don't get sex in return. She's your WIFE, not a prostitute. Buying sex with romance isn't the way to do it. Buying INTIMACY with romance IS.
Every time you make it clear that you want to be with HER, and ONLY her, that she's the one that turns you on, that you're content to touch her, that you want to please her, that it's about HER---you're making a step in the right direction.
Women are weird that way, yep. My husband and I just ran into this issue. He wanted to do it, I didn't. After considering the situation, I told him why I wasn't in the mood... Clutter! He listened, then suggested that we take on the cleaning first thing in the morning. I was relieved that the clutter was, although overwhelming, not something I had to handle alone. Sex was great. He got up the next morning and spent 2 hours cleaning and reorganizing with me. Sex is wonderful with someone who does not see me as the servant, or the enemy. Cheating is the farthest thing from my mind.Quote:
Originally Posted by NowWhat
To anser the original question.
I don't cheat because I love my husband, I respect him and I would never want to hurt him.
Am I attracted to other men, you betcha, I'm married, not dead. But I would never, ever risk what I have by cheating with someone.
Choosing to remain faithful to your spouse is one of the only things we as human beings can choose. There is no such thing as accidentally having an affair, that is a choice, and it's your to make.
I choose to honor my marriage vows, and to treat my husband the way I want to be treated, with enough respect that I would never step out of my marriage.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if men really understood that! I think women find the intimacy in little things. Not sex - but if our men do something like help around the house or do nice, unexpected things. And not so they can get "laid" but because they love us.Quote:
Originally Posted by simoneaugie
The reason I don't cheat on my husband even thoug 3 years ago when we first got married he cheaed on me, but I love him so much that I couldn't do to him what he did to me, and I also agree with LearningAsIGo.. Love and respect are sometimes enough reasons not to cheat on your spouse
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