Thanks to all - I think I somehow gave the impression that I am thinking about acting - by talking about it at least -which isn't true. I just fantasize about it... but in that fantasy, we both confess our feelings and then mutually decide that we should never do anything about it because we love our spouses & kids. I don't fantasize about an affair. I think the line of the fantasy is drawn much more innocently than that!

I appreciate all your thoughts - all good ideas. I think that I need to deliberately focus more on my husband when I am with the other couple. I know there is attraction between my husband and the wife of the couple as well. I think it is all okay as long as (as one poster said) we never spend any time with the opposite sex person alone.

Join a swinger's dance club. They throw dances usually once a month at public places.. ( not a swinger house party) The dances are open and friendly, you are not pressured or expected to swap. This might open the door for you and this couple to become better friends with out crossing your set lines.