I think your husband is hurt and haunted, and pushes your son away to protect him from the same hurts he felt. I think he has to learn on his own, since he didn't have a role model to copy. When your son ask you to do something dad has said no to, you have to say the same thing, just to have a united front for your son.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Your son needs to be around other kids his age, and not just in a school setting. Do you guys live in the woods or something??

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No no, he does have other friends. He goes to the boys and girls club, he is in thai kwon do, so he is active and around other kids. Its just those sick days and snow days.

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Originally Posted by Allecat

I've come to the conclusion that my husband of 8 years is not in my future. There is so much that I want to expose my 7 year old son to, snowboarding, surfing, camping, hiking, fishing, and life in general, but when i try to picture us as a happy family camping or doing these things I dont see him in it. No matter how hard i try to visualize him there, i just don't.

My world revolves around my son, and his future, his education and his mental wellbeing. With my husband present I have a hard time facing the reality that we see things on different levels. He is a hardcore sometimes mean spirited man where as I am nurturing and caring and strong in my beliefs of our son and his well being.

I plan on leaving, I would like to save money and be prepared when I leave, I feel as though I'm betraying him in some way by doing this. I've tried to talk to him on several different occasions and nothing has helped. He becomes belligerent or "stupid" as i put it and acts like a complete baby, telling me not to threaten him.

Ive changed who I was to make him happy and it just seems that out marriage is destined to fail. I dont want to quit but Im unhappy and my son is getting the after affects of our anger towards each other. Which I dont want to happen.

I've left once but under the wrong pretense, It was a bad time in my life and I made bad decisions. Now that im older I feel less compelled to leave because I want my freedom and more compelled to leave because my son is unhappy, as well as my husband and myself.

Im not looking for someone to tell me what or how to do it. I think i just need some unbiased insight to this matter. I've considered going to a local church for some advice, but I will start here.....

Thanks.

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Allecat,

Wish I had advice for you, but unfortunately I don't considering I am somewhat in the same position and also confused as to how to handle my marriage. I am just writing you to let you know you are not wrong at all for looking out for your son's best interest. My husband as well can be very disrespectful and mean. I too am very concerned my son will grow up watching this and think that's how a husband should treat his wife. Recently my three year old son (alomost four) and I were talking about how much we love our family and when I made the statement Daddy loves Mommy, he responded with "Daddy doesn't love you, he's mean to you all the time". It completely broke my heart and when I told my husband he acted as if it was no big deal... wow! So anyway just wanted you to know you are completely right for looking out for your son. If you come up with any good conclusions please let me know!

My motto in dealing with my kids has been to honor any reasonable request, and basically leave Mama out of it because she usually blows them off (too tired, too late, too blah blah blah). It is a sore spot in some marriages that won't go away; the other parent has to decide for himself/herself to have a relationship or not. At least, that is my view.

I found a really great eye opener for my overall situation, I printer a copy out for my husband please keep your fingers crossed that he actually reads it and understands it.

About Romantic Love

Please let me know what you think!