Reminder that the niece was 30... not a child. Everyone's blaming this guy like he's the devil, like he's such a pervert to sleep with his niece. Yes. It was wrong. Yes it's incest. But remember, the niece was also 30. This doesn't make him a pedophile.

Just to make clear, the niece from what I understand, is NOW 30.. that means she was MUCH YOUNGER, like the wife, when they first got together... YES IT IS WRONG and YES HE DOES LIKE people much younger. I never said it was her fault.. IT is clearly an issue of dealing with a man with no morals or integrity. JUST MY OPINION.

To the OP: how old was he and the niece when this happened? I think the age of the niece would change my opinion of this entire thing drastically.

Ok, the entire niece thing is sort of strange and of course it did not just happen, being drunk is not a real excuse.

But it happened, it was in the past and was before you started dating exclusively. It should be treated like any other sexual relastionship that happened in the past.

If you look at the OP, you will notice that the niece is a few years older than the wife. The wife is now approximately the same age as the niece was at the time of the event.

Now that the husband is getting older, it seems that she is thinking of him as being with a younger woman... picturing herself as the niece... and sees something wrong with being with an older (father figure... or uncle) and is not comfortable in that role any longer. I don't see the niece as much of the problem as how she views herself with the older guy. She needs to evaluate her own thoughts about being with an older man. Is she tired of being his little young thing? Leave his past out of it.

You didn't care when he told you and then you married him. I most defiantly would have never thought of it as "Hot", in fact I would have stopped seeing him 'cause personally I think it's quite sick drunk or not! How though do you get over it? I don't know, you didn't care when he told you then you married him so you shouldn't care now.

Maybe something recently happened to make her feel anxious about the situation. Maybe it didn't bother her when she got married but something caused her to bother her now. If he likes young flesh, maybe that has her feeling uneasy now that she has aged a bit..

Some things about a person don't change just because you marry them.

They need to go to counseling and sort everything out.

Three words: Counseling Will Help

I think your insecurities have emerged, with the reappearence of the niece in your lives. It also sounds as if the niece is fueling those insecurities, and you are at a loss as to how to handle it. Yes counseling would help, as anytime a "rival" emerges there are problems. If you didn't know of their past, you would be wondering why she didn't like you, but knowing that secret, your jealous and afraid, just by her presence. You need guidance to get through this, as your husband should be reasurring you, but isn't. That's most of the problem, as your isolated with no one to share those feelings with, as I bet your afraid, to talk to a soul about this. A counselor can help, and keep your secret. Get the help you need.

I'd suggest talking to a counselor. He was honest and upfront about it from the get-go. It was an issue to be addressed when he first told you about it, not now. It really isn't fair of you to hold it against him now.

Two year old thread closed!