"I don't think I had a bad childhood." How about 3, 5, or 7 of the good things about your childhool.

1. My parents loved me
2. my family stayed together
3. we had great times together at the fair
4. right before my sister was killed my Dad was in AA and for a while he was always at home
5. my parents didn't fight in front of me.
6. my Dad taught me to defend myself
7. he always stood up for me
8. Mom always listened

May I inquire further?
1: the most loving way your mother and father showed their love for you?
2: how large is your family?
3: what was most meaningful about the fair? What other great times do you recall?
4: what about your sister? Older or younger? How old was she when she passed away? How old were you?
5: did your parents fight elsewhere? Are they still married? Did they show affection for each other and their kids?
6: good Daddy! Is he originally from Alabama?
7: where was he when you were sneaking out?
8: good Mama! Where was she when you were sneaking out?

1. They told me, they took care of me
2. 3 sisters 1 brother 7 uncles 9 aunts 50+ first cousins 100+ 2nd cousins 2 grandmas 3 grandpas
3. going down the big slide with my Dad - picnics - family bike rides - fishing with my Dad - camping
4. she was 15 she lived with her Mom I was 11 she was hit by a car
5. They are still married - they would leave the room - yes
6. Florida - we lived in Ohio until I was 11
7. They were in bed- or at work

Thanks; big chuckle for #2 with the details; just curious: how do you feel about a trial separation from your husband? You would establish a new home without him, at least for a while; or, have him relocate for a while?

If I leave I won't come back

Why are you staying?

Because I love him. Because I want my child to have both parents at home. Because I made a commitment to him to stick through it... for better or worse.
I have never felt so strong about anyone.
He is my heart. I would do anything for him. I just don't feel like he is trying to understand me.
He knows all my dirty little secrets... and still loves me. He takes care of me in most ways. He is a wonderful father. He does diapers, baths, feeding, playing, and bedtime.
He worrys about me, but dosen't know how to help me.
I love my parents because they are my parents. I love my child because she is my child.
I choose to love him. I choose to give him the option of being with me.
I told him if he ever wants to leave than to tell me, if he wants to be with someone else than tell me. I don't believe in divorce. I believe in trying to fix things. I don't want to be alone, I don't want to be with anyone else. I want to be happy. I want my child to grow up in a happy home, not a silent one.

Thank you so very much for your answers to so many questions. There is a lot of information here. Plus, I needed to re-read your initial topic, which is "How Do I Save My Marriage". I am going to need some time to review this.

Sometimes I feel just like you. Like the world is crumbling around me and there is no where to go. I often wonder how things got so bad so quickly. But what keeps me sane is my children (age 1 and 2). I am their mother and that gives me a reason to stay strong. My husband is just a figure head for a dad. He is unemployed (has been for over 2 years) and not very interested in us. We are more of an obligation that he got himself into. So I definitely hear and feel your pain. Just remember to be strong for your children. Because they look to you for guidance and love. I am hear if you need to talk or vent.

Please, if you can't afford anything else... get some birth control! Don't bring another child into this, it will not help the problem. Fact of the matter is, you have to realize you are responsible for yourself and do something, nobody is going to fix things for you. Even if you have an illness, you are responsible for getting yourself some help and finding a doctor to treat it. No one else is responsible for your happiness either, happy people know this because we all have our problems. You could turn this all around for yourself if you wanted to... please try something and get the DVD movie "The Secret" from the library, or Blockbuster, or wherever you rent videos and watch it. I just know you will recognize yourself and have a breakthrough. Go to The Secret :: Official Web Site of The Secret Movie :: Law of Attraction and you can see a portion of the movie, and I think you might be able to even watch it for free.

Your mom and dad are still married and living together? Your mother knows the circumstances of your life and is concerned about you. What does she think you should do?