I need to leave my husband, but I have no help
I have been married for 12 years and with my husband for 15. We have 3 fantastic kids ages 6, 7 & 10. They are happy go lucky kids very involved with schools and friends. My husband and I are done. Every day I pray to God to help me leave him, without disturbing the lives of my kids. My kids love their father and I would like them to maintain that relationship but I need to be rid of him. He is like a cancer that runs through my body on a daily basis. I have managed to maintain a home as best I can without hurting my kids. But they are not stupid they know what the problems are, and they are starting to know that their father is to blame. In a nut shell my husband is all about himself, not me not his home, not his family, and not his kids. We have had the most unbelievable amount of financial stress this past year. By the way my husband has not worked or attempted to work in 6 months, even though we are going through a foreclosure and a sale date on our home I find him in bed in the mornings, and playing video games in the afternoon. By the way he is 44 years old. He worked at his job for 12 years but always had a conflict with his boss and it finally came to head back in April, he was forced to leave his job. I work part time and raise my kids by myself, we do not agree on the same things for our kids, I do not really want them playing Mature video games, watching TV shows and movies with adult content, he doesn't help with homework or getting them off to school, and on the days I work he barely meets the kids at the bus. He also has the audacity to ask me what I spend my pay on, If you only know me, I have not purchase anything for myself in years. I spend it on food and things for the kids. Then I look at the bank account and find that he has been spending money in the games stores and electronic stores, today I found out he took out money for the game store $76 which has now allowed my care insurance check bounce, but I have no right to question him on it. BALLS, RIGHT?? The truth is I wish I could pack his bags and stay in my home with my kids but I know that is not possible. I have been trying to sell my house but with the market being what it is, my house isn't moving for what I need to sell it for. I NEED HELP!
I do not sleep, I'm losing my hair, and I look 8 years older than what I am. I need to focus on my kids. Any advice