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-   -   Forgetting spells (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=347232)

  • Apr 28, 2009, 01:02 PM
    Midnightsin
    Forgetting spells
    I just got out of a relationship that ended very badly. I want to forget about all of it, even her. I want it to be like she never existed to me. I know all about the moral dilemma as I have been a practicing Wiccan for the past 10 years. This is only for me. She will have no idea about it and she will still have the memories of it all.

    Does anyone have any ideas on how to go about doing this?
  • Apr 28, 2009, 01:11 PM
    mudweiser

    I have one that'll work for sure:

    Boobity-Doopity-Get-Off-Your-Booty.

    Yep. That means go out and get active instead of sitting at home dispising the girl.

    Life is about learning, and forgetting this will not help you learn for life's upcoming challenges.

    Sarah
  • Apr 28, 2009, 01:12 PM
    HistorianChick

    Unfortunately, even if I did know a forgetting spell, I wouldn't recommend it. This is all a part of being human; relationships, break ups, joys, sorrows, it's all a part of what distinguishes us as people.

    Sorrow is a part of life. Sadness is a part of who we are.

    You will get through this... one day at a time. Without any spells.

    We are here to help you through it - would you let us try?
  • Apr 28, 2009, 01:45 PM
    Midnightsin
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by HistorianChick View Post
    Unfortunately, even if I did know a forgetting spell, I wouldn't recommend it. This is all a part of being human; relationships, break ups, joys, sorrows, it's all a part of what distinguishes us as people.

    Sorrow is a part of life. Sadness is a part of who we are.

    You will get through this... one day at a time. Without any spells.

    We are here to help you through it - would you let us try?

    I could let you. IDK, I've been in several relationships over the years and none of them have ever ended this badly. Usually I'm still friends with them afterwards. I think this one hit so hard is because she decided that she wanted to be a lesbian. Even her closest friends have said that when she lets a guy get close she decides that she doesn't want to be with guys.

    What mad it worse is everything she said to me and what I felt while we were together completely contradicts what happened. Hence the whole wanting to forget all of her. I'm not usually a mean person and I live my life by the Rede but I can only handle so much.
  • Apr 28, 2009, 01:52 PM
    HistorianChick

    Love is one of the things that gives the greatest extremes: overwhelming joy and unforgettable sorrow. But, the secret of surviving is learning to balance these extremes and turn them into a piece of the puzzle.

    Some of the most beautiful artwork in the world are the Byzantine Mosaics. What are mosaics, but broken pieces of glass and pottery blended together into a masterpiece. That's like life.

    The first step in healing from a painful breakup (i.e. your heart being ripped apart and thrown into a revolving fan) is to realize that you ARE going to find love again, you WILL make it, and you will BE a better person because of it.

    I'm so sorry that this girl has hurt you so badly. What do you like to do? Hobbies? Exercises? Movies? Music?

    Find those things again - those things that make you happy - and revel in them.

    For when you find your happiness in yourself again, you will truly be "moved on."

    I'll be here to help along the way.

    Best of luck.
  • Apr 28, 2009, 01:58 PM
    Midnightsin

    Thanks, those kind words soften the edge a little bit. Mostly I've just been avoiding being alone. Finding my friends, staying away from home kind of thing. Most of my hobbies give me a lot of time to think about things, except for my music. I've always said that playing on the stage is the one thing that truly makes me happy. Even rehearsal is fun and when I play I kind of go away for a little bit. If that makes any kind of sense.
  • Apr 28, 2009, 03:37 PM
    HistorianChick

    It definitely makes sense! I've done professional, community, and college theatre... And I'd freely admit that rehearsals are just as fun as performances!

    Awesome that you play music. Music is a wonderful release. Losing yourself with its melody, the swellings and harmony, is an outstanding way to start the healing process.

    I'm also glad to hear that you're spending time with friends. So often people shut themselves out of the world by holing up at home. Glad that's not you.

    You're doing the right things. Time does take the edge off the pain, believe me. I've been left at the altar... And I survived.

    Keep your chin up. :)
  • Apr 28, 2009, 03:52 PM
    Fuzzball_Kara

    How could we know what happiness was if there was no pain? You can't see a light unless there is dark. Everything that doesn't kill us will make us stronger. :)
  • Apr 28, 2009, 04:38 PM
    Midnightsin
    [QUOTE=HistorianChick;1698743]I'm also glad to hear that you're spending time with friends. So often people shut themselves out of the world by holing up at home. Glad that's not you.
    QUOTE]

    Normally I would just wall myself off from the world, but I had a feeling that if I did that then something very bad would have happened. I'm not saying that I would have hurt myself and please don't take it that way. It's only what my intuition was telling me. And I've learned to trust my intuition. Even if it is the only thing I trust anymore.

    Here's the real kicker, I've done some rather Karmically nasty things. I've been in a dark place before and I can feel it pulling at me.
  • Apr 29, 2009, 05:12 AM
    HistorianChick

    But see, "dark" is only as strong as the light that you carry within you. No darkness can survive when a candle is lit.

    We've all done nasty stuff in our past... that's why they call it the past - it's over. I'm not saying that there aren't consequences, but you have to believe that you can hold on to the light inside and make it through.

    Keep to your intuition - it seems to be guiding you right.

    AMHD is a great outlet for feelings and getting through a breakup. I'll be here! Keep your chin up.
  • Apr 29, 2009, 07:20 AM
    Midnightsin

    Thanks, we got together and talked things out after I had rehearsal. We got some things straightened out. We both apologized to each other, me for saying some rather hurtful things and her for how things went. We have our boundaries set and it looks like things will be all right.
  • Apr 29, 2009, 07:26 AM
    HistorianChick

    That's very good to hear.

    Make sure you protect your heart, even in the midst of "setting up boundaries."
  • Apr 29, 2009, 08:00 AM
    Midnightsin
    Thank you for your kind words. I'm definitely going to be hanging around here more often.

    Yes, I got hurt. But I know where I stand with her. She was confused about who she was and she just happened to figure it out while we were dating. She said that she was done trying to be normal by societies standards. With that being said we are going to be friends. Yes, it will take a while for those memories of when we were together to fade. But now I know how love truly feels. The ups and downs of it all. Only time will heal and I have my friends and family there to support me when I need them.
  • Nov 2, 2009, 10:54 PM
    Edward55

    Just Fall in Love again.
  • Dec 20, 2012, 02:26 PM
    mrs chester
    I actually found this site in order to find a forgetting spell. This person is peripherally in my circle of friends and I have to see his FB replies to them.
    We were involved in a kinky relationship and his new girlfriend whom I like very much
    Is toatlly innocent of such things. Part of me wants him to "slip" so she will dump him and part of me is glad he's not doing these degading things any more. What burns is that he has a double standard and that two years of knowing him never produced the kind of gentlemanly behavior one month with her has. I would never spoil his chances or hurt her but I am still in the name-calling stage and wish I could Brillo out all memory of him. Time heals all but the idea of having to see him with or without her in places I have been and will be again kills me..
  • Dec 20, 2012, 02:28 PM
    mrs chester
    It will take a lot of fuming but I know I will get over my urge to forget, and actually I could laugh at him in public remembering his former behavior.
  • Dec 20, 2012, 06:32 PM
    hauntinghelper
    You know what's better than a spell? Learning how to deal and cope with life.

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