Ask Me Help Desk - Being called "hon"

Being called "hon"

I have a fb page, and I got on the subject of being called "hon" by total strangers. It irks the H.E.L.L out of me, I can NOT stand it, how do you guys feel after being called "hon" or "sweet heart" by a total stranger?

So I'm at a restaurant, the waitress is clearly younger than I, I ask for more napkins for my 4 year old and she replies with "sure thing hon". "That's it," I thought, "The last straw." I asked her if she calls everyon that, even the obviously senior citizens? She replied "yea hon, I do". I was shocked. If I ever called a teacher, parent, aunt or elder "hon" I'd have the poop smacked out of me. It's disrespectful and condescending, that's why. And patronizing. I was eating lunch with a girl friend of mine and the server kept calling us 'hon". I know my eyes would have gotten stuck in the back of my head, had that wives tale actually been true... I asked my friend, how does that make her feel? As one of the most educated people I know in our age bracket, she replied "It's so condescending, I HATE IT". Okay, so I'm not alone in thinking this. I thought maybe it's just insulting as a woman, went to my parents’ house, and asked my father (as a visible senior citizen) what he thought about being called ". Okay, so I'm not alone in thinking this. I thought maybe it's just insulting as a woman, went to my parents’ house, and asked my father (as a visible senior citizen) what he thought about being called "? I should note my father is also a veteran, and obviously retired military, an under water's weapons tech to be exact. He thinks it's ridiculous to be called "? I should note my father is also a veteran, and obviously retired military, an under water's weapons tech to be exact. He thinks it's ridiculous to be called " by a total stranger! I have heard the term used by nurses and other professional titles and while I am sure the user of the term means no disrespect, it comes across as patronizing for some. I would prefer to save the term of endearment for those close to me.

I'm a veteran too, and a male and would rather be called "hon" than a lot of other things people might call me.
It is such a big deal in Baltimore MD that they have a "Hon" contest every year, and all the ladies dress up with their hair in beehives etc.
Not worth getting all that bent out of shape over, in my humble opinion.
Whoops, I almost put a comma and a Hon at the end of the last sentence.

I don't get all bent, it's just something that irks me.

My grandfather would say, "Call me anything you want. Just don't call me late for dinner."

Hm, I guess it's just me who finds it patronizing and rude.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aurora_Bell

I have a fb page, and I got on the subject of being called "hon" by total strangers. It irks the H.E.L.L outta me, I can NOT stand it, how do you guys feel after being called "hon" or "sweet heart" by a total stranger?

So I'm at a restaurant, the waitress is clearly younger than I, I ask for more napkins for my 4 year old and she replies with "sure thing hon". "That's it," I thought, "The last straw." I asked her if she calls everyon that, even the obviously senior citizens? She replied "yea hon, I do". I was shocked. If I ever called a teacher, parent, aunt or elder "hon" I'd have the poop smacked outta me. It's disrespectful and condescending, that's why. And patronizing. I was eating lunch with a girl friend of mine and the server kept calling us 'hon". I know my eyes would have gotten stuck in the back of my head, had that wives tale actually been true... I asked my friend, how does that make her feel? As one of the most educated people I know in our age bracket, she replied "It's so condescending, I HATE IT". Okay, so I'm not alone in thinking this. I thought maybe it's just insulting as a woman, went to my parents’ house, and asked my father (as a visible senior citizen) what he thought about being called "hon"? I should note my father is also a veteran, and obviously retired military, an under water's weapons tech to be exact. He thinks it's ridiculous to be called "hon" by a total stranger! I have heard the term used by nurses and other professional titles and while I am sure the user of the term means no disrespect, it comes across as patronizing for some. I would prefer to save the term of endearment for those close to me.

Stop using Facebook just making the rich richer

I hate being called "hon" too Bella. You're not alone.

I have used "sweetie" on this site before, but it's always when the poster is obviously a child, and I use it to soften what I'm about to say, which is usually something they're not going to want to hear.

But, do you know what I hate even more than being called "hon" by strangers?

Quote:

stop using Facebook just making the rich richer

People that post something that has absolutely nothing to do with the thread. ;)

LOL Yup, was thinking the same thing.

Sweetie seems fitting when you use it to soften your blows, I have used it too. But "hon", just something about it makes me roll my eyes so hard it hurts!

I was told by a few people on that page that Baltimore people use the word hon a lot, never thought of it being a "cultural slang". One guy compared it to using the word "eh" for us Canadians, call me "eh" "hoser", tell me to "take off" ANYTHING but hon by a total stranger! :p

Completely agree, but I can see it being a cultural thing. Still, I find it annoying.

At my work there's a lady that comes in at least once a week. While she's at the register she calls me hon at least 20 times, and sweetie another 20 times. Pretty impressive seeing as she usually only has a few items and it doesn't take me long to ring her through. I smile, but inside I die a little more every time she delivers another hon or sweetie. She's also a bit off her rocker, so I guess I have to take that into consideration. :(

Drives me batty. I think that one day I'll just say "No problem you old battle axe". :)

Hahah! Can you tape this for me?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aurora_Bell

Hahah! Can you tape this for me?

LOL! I'll try, but it will have to wait until September. I have the summer off. I have to get my house cleaned up and ready. I have a very important visitor coming next month. :)

Yes you do, more then the Queen ;) <3

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aurora_Bell

Yes you do, more then the Queen ;) <3

If the Queen were coming I wouldn't be putting in this much effort. ;)

But yes, very important guests. We're giddy about it. Syd can't wait, she already has a list of things to do with Miss E. Your poor child won't have a moments peace. ;)

The people guilty of this are usually service people -- the cashier at the convenience store, the lab tech taking your blood, the checkout clerk at the grocery store, the hospital nurse's aide bringing you a bedpan, the waitress at Denny's, and so on. It used to be regional, with US Southerners doing this, but now, because we are all so mobile, it's less of a regional endearment and can be found all over the US and beyond.

Since people don't know your real name, rather than use a more formal sir or ma'am, they use "hon" to give an air of friendliness and warmth--and maybe, in the end, show basic laziness toward customers who pass like ships in the night. So put your hand on that person's arm, smile, look directly into her eyes (yes, the perp is usually female), and tell her to please call you by your real name,"X" or "Mrs. Y" (or whatever). If you are offended by "hon," then it behooves you to be proactive. The same kind of thing happens at the doctor's office when older patients are called by their first name. I'll accept "hon" any day before I will accept that!

That's good, at least she will be out of my hair! Poor R has to babysit! Lol

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aurora_Bell

That's good, at least she will be outta my hair!! Poor R has to babysit! lol

R, J and S are on E sitting duties while you're here. :)

Can we turn those initials into a word? We only have one vowel! Um...

Jers, nope.
Serj, maybe?
Rejs, defnitiely not.

Maybe we should add our initials, B and A.

Jabers! We need another b.

Ya, I'm bored. :(

I don't mind it when I am called hon now and then. It actually beats being called a douche or worse... though I am used to it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by odinn7

I don't mind it when I am called hon now and then. It actually beats being called a douche or worse...though I am used to it.

Who would call you a douche? I want names, addresses, numbers. ;)

You're a big ole softie!

Yes being called certainly is better than being called 'douche'... I don't want to come across grumpy or mean, it's just a pet peeve that probably will never go away. IDK, my friend can't stand it when people repetitively press the elevator button over and over again, she isn't going to go postal in her office, just an annoying quirk I guess. Every one's got them, I was just venting about mine :)

Your list will get longer as you age, Bella. My list doesn't fit on one 8x11.5 sheet of paper any longer. And it's in little print. Now I know why old people are often grumpy.

Hehe yea, I have noticed it increases with age! Oh dear at this point I may get my own show!

We were in a drug store one day and the guy in front of us had a dispute about how they were adding up his bill or something, and he was obviously right but he just said ok- do it your way-took his change and was in the process of leaving and I said-you were absolutely right, they did it wrong-talk to the manager.
And he said -I know, but I don't let others get inside my head over minor issues.
(correction-my wife says that what he actually said was: I don't let people rent space in my brain)
I have come to realize that he might be right about that.
I fight a lot of things on principle, and do a lot of legwork and send letters and file complaints and at least try to cause some of the world's jerks some hassle and trouble--but it is very rarely worth the work I put into it.

If you have any problem with being addressed in some form of a pet name then DO NOT visit the southern states of the U.S. Down in that part of the country it's the norm to address people that way and some go to the limit with it.

Don't stress out about it hon. ;P

Quote:

Originally Posted by Enigma1999

Don't stress out about it hon. ;P

LOL! She's going to smack you! ;)

I can deal with "hon," sometimes, it really depends on who is using it. What I CAN'T stand is "shuga," southern slang for sugar. There is a nurse that I work with that calls everyone "shuga" with a deep strong southern drawl. I just want to smack her in the mouth every time she says it. Luckily she's moved to day shift so I don't have to hear it as often.

Quote:

Originally Posted by J_9

I can deal with "hon," sometimes, it really depends on who is using it. What I CAN'T stand is "shuga," southern slang for sugar. There is a nurse that I work with that calls everyone "shuga" with a deep strong southern drawl. I just wanna smack her in the mouth every time she says it. Luckily she's moved to day shift so I don't have to hear it as often.

I can honestly say that I've never been called "shuga' or anything close to it. I've been called hon, sweetie, dear, love, and things I can't post here, but never shuga. :)

We were at a BBQ restaurant a few years ago. The waitress was trying to be hip and cool. She kept referring to us as "peeps" and my 10 year old daughter was "girlfriend"... Now, I could maybe... maybe understand it if she was 18 or so but she was older than me.

Turned out she was drunk on the job anyway so we didn't have to deal with her after that day.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alty

I can honestly say that I've never been called "shuga' or anything close to it. I've been called hon, sweetie, dear, love, and things I can't post here, but never shuga. :)

Then you haven't met Peggy! ;) The "shuga" thing with the strong southern drawl, that she doesn't have naturally, is so much more annoying than "hon" anytime.

I used to like it when Cats called me "Shuga" or "sweets", and it really only depends on WHO'S calling me hon. I hate it when some snot nosed kid is calling me hon, or I over hear them calling an elderly person hon. Grates my cheddah I tell yah!

Enigma, you better run! You're getting a spanking!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aurora_Bell

I used to like it when Cats called me "Shuga" or "sweets", and it really only depends on WHO'S calling me hon. I hate it when some snot nosed kid is calling me hon, or I over hear them calling an elderly person hon. Grates my cheddah I tell yah!

Enigma, you better run! You're getting a spanking!

We're spanking Enigma? I'm in! :)

Oops... WT?

But there is no right thread, so blah, I'm in! :)

You guys promise? ;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Enigma1999

You guys promise? ;)

I've seen pictures of you, so you better believe that I promise.

Disclaimer "I'm not gay, or bi, but, it's Enigma! She's gorgeous, and sweet. I can learn to be into girls." :)

I don't care what you call it, I'm spankin her! Hahah

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aurora_Bell

I don't care what ya call it, I'm spankin her! hahah

Me too! Me too! I want a shot at this!

Just got a call asking for Andrew Ledgeman. Not even close! Try again! ;)

I find being called "hon" is not as annoying as the store clerks or waiters who call me by my first name after running my credit card, as in "Have a nice day Ed." (Ed is not my real name - just using it to illustrate the point). We've raised our kids to always address their elders as "Mr." or "Mrs" as a sign of respect - never by first name unless specifically requested to do so. To have some teenager address me that way is really annoying.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ebaines

I find being called "hon" is not as annoying as the store clerks or waiters who call me by my first name after running my credit card, as in "Have a nice day Ed." (Ed is not my real name - just using it to illustrate the point). We've raised our kids to always address their elders as "Mr." or "Mrs" as a sign of respect - never by first name unless specifically requested to do so. To have some teenager address me that way is really annoying.

Like I think I said earlier, seniors/old people being addressed by first name by medical personnel is also universal and horrendous. I say something every chance I get. In fact, NO patient should be addressed by first name if over the age of 18, until permission is given. We were very careful about this when I worked in Libraryland. Not sure it's the rule, but should be.

I dislike being called 'hon' by anyone. Especially on here, especially on here I find it condescending.

I always thought that this was a southern US thing, I guess not.
I don't mind it so much from people I know and have a connection with or even an elderly stranger, but I'll have to admit it does bug me a little when it is a total stranger my own age or younger.
It happens a lot at work with our older clients, that's fine by me I take it as a sign of comfort and familiarity.

My story? Went to the printer with a letterhead, envelope, invoice, business card order. Picked out everything I wanted, the way I wanted it, checked the proofs - exactly what I had in mind.

And then the owner (not realizing it's MY business) said: "Hon, do you have authority to place this order?"

And told him I would go home and ask myself that question and marched out of there - "Hon"? "Authority?"

He lost a big order and what would have been repeat business.

Yesterday I took my car in to be inspected, wore a tank top, sandals, knee length shorts. I was going to a repair facility! Passed, no problem (should, it's new with few than 10,000 miles) and I asked the Nice Man Behind the Counter where to take the electronic key to get the battery changed because it's losing distance.

He said, "Go to any Chevy dealer. Wear that top and they'll replace it for free." Long silence. I said, "Okay" and left.

What goes through people's heads?

He also just lost any hope of ever seeing me and/or any vehicle I own.