Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   The Lounge (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=488)
-   -   J's Random Thoughts (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=478855)

  • Jun 12, 2010, 07:22 AM
    J_9
    J's Random Thoughts
    Well, as you all know, I am a blonde by nature, not by color. I thought I would start a thread with some of my random thoughts. Please feel free to add your own.








    I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades! :eek:
  • Jun 12, 2010, 07:27 AM
    DoulaLC

    Saw this on a Facebook status: "My mate wrote on his status that he was suicidal and on the edge of a cliff......so I poked him"

    What does it say about me that I laughed out loud when I read this?! :D
  • Jun 12, 2010, 07:32 AM
    J_9
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by DoulaLC View Post
    Saw this on a Facebook status: "My mate wrote on his status that he was suicidal and on the edge of a cliff......so I poked him"

    What does it say about me that I laughed out loud when I read this?!! :D

    I love it!!

    Doula, it says that we... ummm, Ever had one of those nights? You know where everything went right and wrong at the same time?

    Oh, Carp, did I just make any sense?
  • Jun 12, 2010, 07:43 AM
    DoulaLC
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by J_9 View Post
    I love it!!!

    Doula, it says that we...ummm, Ever had one of those nights? You know where everything went right and wrong at the same time?

    Oh, Carp, did I just make any sense?

    I got it! But then I am also blonde by nature so, as you know, we are able to ascertain linguistics quite well. That's what I'm told anyway... :)
  • Jun 12, 2010, 07:47 AM
    adam_89

    I can't stop laughing at both of them, and at the same time I feel bad for it.
  • Jun 12, 2010, 07:48 AM
    J_9
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by DoulaLC View Post
    ascertain linguistics

    Wow! Big words! I like to use big words when I can. One of my favorite that only you will understand is "oligohydramios."

    Dare. I dare anyone to try to explain what that word means without searching the internet for the definition.
  • Jun 12, 2010, 07:49 AM
    redhed35

    Oligohydramios ,when pasta goes all mushy in the pot?

    no.

    Damn.
  • Jun 12, 2010, 07:52 AM
    excon
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by J_9 View Post
    "oligohydramios."

    Dare. I dare anyone to try to explain what that word means without searching the internet for the definition.

    Hello J:

    It's when you've taken in too much salt, and your body is yelling "OY, GO, HYDRATE ME"

    Or not.

    excon
  • Jun 12, 2010, 08:05 AM
    DoulaLC
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by J_9 View Post
    Wow! Big words! I like to use big words when I can. One of my favorite that only you will understand is "oligohydramios."

    Dare. I dare anyone to try to explain what that word means without searching the internet for the definition.


    If I didn't know already, I would guess a drop in a hydraulic system?? Although every time I see it I think of drano!

    Ohhh, how about cephalohematoma, chorioamnionistis, or abolionamentoria??
    (ok, I made the last one up)... :p
  • Jun 12, 2010, 08:06 AM
    J_9
    Y'all are so WAY off!





    Another random thought... Do fish drink?
  • Jun 12, 2010, 08:10 AM
    excon
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by J_9 View Post
    Do fish drink?

    Hello again, J:

    Sure they do. They absolutely LOVE margaritas, but not with salt.

    Ex
  • Jun 12, 2010, 08:11 AM
    J_9
    Well, do frogs fart?
  • Jun 12, 2010, 08:13 AM
    DoulaLC

    Why don't they put all traffic lights on sensors so that you aren't sitting at a red light for 10 minutes at 3:00 a.m. when no one is coming from any direction?
  • Jun 12, 2010, 08:14 AM
    J_9
    Since humans drink like a fish, does a fish drink like a human? Discuss.



    I'm off to is off to give my blanket some a$$ and my pillow some head.. what an awesome threesome!!

    TTFN!
  • Jun 12, 2010, 08:15 AM
    DoulaLC
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by J_9 View Post
    Well, do frogs fart?


    Silent but deadly... unless they hold it in, that's why you see some blow up.
  • Jun 12, 2010, 08:15 AM
    excon
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by J_9 View Post
    Well, do frogs fart?

    Hello J:

    I'm sure they do... After all, dough rises because all those little yeasts are farting up a storm.

    excon
  • Jun 12, 2010, 08:15 AM
    adam_89

    Do cops get mad when they are stuck behind somebody going the speed limit?
  • Jun 12, 2010, 08:20 AM
    excon

    Hello adam:

    Cops don't GET mad. They ARE mad. When they look out upon the world, all they see are lawbreakers who haven't been caught yet.

    excon
  • Jun 12, 2010, 08:22 AM
    adam_89

    Aren't we all lawbreakers who haven't been caught yet?
  • Jun 12, 2010, 08:23 AM
    J_9
    WARNING! Consumption of Alcohol is the leading cause of unexplainable rug burns to the forehead!
  • Jun 12, 2010, 08:33 AM
    excon
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by adam_89 View Post
    Aren't we all lawbreakers who haven't been caught yet?

    Hello adam:

    Nope.

    excon
  • Jun 12, 2010, 08:39 AM
    jmjoseph

    Never ask a woman with a large shape "when is that baby due ?"..
  • Jun 12, 2010, 03:24 PM
    J_9
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by jmjoseph View Post
    Never ask a woman with a large shape "when is that baby due ?" ..

    I'm in shape...








    Round is a shape! :p
  • Jun 12, 2010, 03:45 PM
    jmjoseph
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by J_9 View Post
    I'm in shape......








    Round is a shape! :p

    You're not round. I've seen your picture. And you work too hard to be keeping on calories.

    You know the women I'm talking about. They must be drinking a lot of beer to be having that "third tri-mester" look, all in the front.

    But you know me(not really), trying to be nice. I ask if it's going to be a boy or a girl. I almost got my butt whooped once. I could out run her.
  • Jun 12, 2010, 03:48 PM
    Just Dahlia

    Never ask directly to the person is question:eek: ask a innocent bystander:)

    A clerk at a local grocers was gone and I asked if she had her baby. They informed me that she wasn't pregnant:rolleyes:
  • Jun 12, 2010, 03:51 PM
    jmjoseph
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Just Dahlia View Post
    Never ask directly to the person is question:eek: ask a innocent bystander:)

    A clerk at a local grocers was gone and I asked if she had her baby. They informed me that she wasn't pregnant:rolleyes:

    Glad to know it's not just me.
  • Jun 12, 2010, 04:08 PM
    QLP
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by jmjoseph View Post
    Never ask a woman with a large shape "when is that baby due ?" ..

    We were visiting a friend of my hubby and his wife, that we hadn't seen for ages. She looked pregnant enough that I would have thought the baby was due tomorrow. I blurted out, 'Oh you're having a baby, congratulations.'
    She looked at me puzzled and said, 'but we only just found out and I'm only 6 weeks how can you tell?'
    'Oh, you've got that amazing expectant glow about you,' I gushed.
    She absolutely beamed at that answer.
    Phew! Quick thinking eh lol...
    Hubby was still chuckling a week later.
    Mind you I learned my lesson, might not be so lucky next time. *mouth zipped*
  • Jun 12, 2010, 05:17 PM
    J_9
    Last year I had a patient about to deliver, her mother looked over at me and asked when my baby was due.

    I've since lost weight.
  • Jun 12, 2010, 05:34 PM
    QLP

    Reminds me of when I went to talk to an ante-natal class at the local hospital as the guest breast-feeding support speaker. The midwife in charge tried to usher me into a seat with the other pregnant ladies and I patiently explained I was there to give the talk not listen to it. She looked very embarrassed until I assured her that I was actually pregnant as well.

    She then asked me when the baby was due and I replied, 'tomorrow.'

    I swear she spent the whole of the talk with one eye on my bump lol.
  • Jun 12, 2010, 05:39 PM
    QLP

    Another time I was stopped in the street by a lady who was selling some kind of weight-loss plan.
    'Excuse me my dear,' she said. 'would you be interested in losing weight at all?'

    Imagine doing that for a living, boy she must get some rude responses!

    'I'm planning on losing a good few pounds very quickly quite soon,' I replied, 'that's another person on board.'
  • Jun 12, 2010, 08:43 PM
    KBC
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by J_9 View Post
    I'm in shape......








    Round is a shape! :p

    As my co-worker says,"I have a body of a god,unfortunately it's Buddha!":p
  • Jun 12, 2010, 08:45 PM
    KBC
    AND!!


    What are you on today J?? I want some of what you taking, make mine a double with refills!Please!

    If I opened a thread with all my random thoughts, sheesh,I would be able to fill the 1500 on my own, in a few days:D
  • Jun 12, 2010, 08:56 PM
    Stringer

    I think that I should think more...

    If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?

    Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

    Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
  • Jun 12, 2010, 09:00 PM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Stringer View Post
    I think that I should think more.....





    Why is it when you are in a department store and you're standing there with your arms loaded down with clothing, a cashier will ask... Can I help you? What do you say? No.. I just thought I'd stand here with these clothes for a while?
  • Jun 13, 2010, 03:10 AM
    J_9
    Sunday mornings random thought...

    If someone threw a rock and knocked me off my donkey, would I be stoned off my a$$? Hmmm?
  • Jun 13, 2010, 06:03 AM
    J_9
    Last random thought before I fall asleep, or am I already asleep?

    Have you ever just wanted to run up to a stranger and say "your it" and run away?
  • Jun 13, 2010, 06:10 AM
    redhed35

    All the time.
  • Jun 13, 2010, 06:27 AM
    DoulaLC
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by J_9 View Post
    WARNING!! Consumption of Alcohol is the leading cause of unexplainable rug burns to the forehead!

    You'll slide better on tile... just a thought.
  • Jun 13, 2010, 06:33 AM
    DoulaLC

    Funnel cake should be a health food.
  • Jun 13, 2010, 06:35 AM
    KBC
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by J_9 View Post
    WARNING!! Consumption of Alcohol is the leading cause of unexplainable rug burns to the forehead!

    Huh, I always thought it was the knees, imagine my face:eek:when I learned this from J... ;)

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:12 AM.