Ask Me Help Desk - You come visit our new updated, brand 'spankin' new jail "lounge"

You come visit our new updated, brand 'spankin' new jail "lounge"

With the power 'empowered' to me and my deputy 'Friend for you" we would like all you unsavory types to come and 'visit' our refurnished jail...

It is kind of like an Open House, you can check in... but there might be a 'price' to leave...

We got a lota new stuff... yep, new chains on the walls, some better food (if the budget will bear it) cleaner toilets (ha ha, some even flush), a new safe to put your wallet after you pay your fine(s).

There are no windows (security) and no place to park your motorcycles EITHER... and only paper cups as I am getting real tired of you guys bangin' the metal ones on the cell bars.... We need ta sleep to you know!

So... come visit, sit for a while, here take a sip of this special brew... nawwww, your ditzy (been drinkin'?)... what are you saying'? I know that it tastes a little 'funny'... but there's nuttin' in there that will hurt you... gettin' a little sleepy??

And no comment about me of my deputies weight either... ya know we have to live up to the 'Big Bellied Sheriff' myth...

Stringer (The Sheriff)

Ha, first! :)

Welcome pretty lady... here sit down, have a 'brew' yep we are very friendly here, you betcha... need a pillow?

Are you going to smother me with that pillow? What's in the "brew"?

I'm scared. STARBY!!

Heyyyyy, what's there to be afraid of?. You are with THE LAW my pretty... hee hee. You're as safe as a bug in the rug...

Most people stomp on the bug in the rug. Besides, I heard talk of handcuffs and other things. Normally that would be okay, but in your hands, well, I'm scared. :(

STARBY! Where the heck is that duck?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

Are you going to smother me with that pillow? What's in the "brew"?

I'm scared. STARBY!!!!!!!!!!!

PILLOW FIGHT! :D Lets go jump on the Sheriffs' bed!

Quote:

Originally Posted by starbuck8

PILLOW FIGHT!! :D Lets go jump on the Sheriffs' bed!

I'm so with you on that! :D

::boing squeak, boing squeak, snap, crash::

Crap, Starby, we broke Stringers bed. RUN!! :eek:

Me likey pillow fights. :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by arnimal7

Me likey pillow fights. :)

You're in, as long as you aim the pillow at Stringer. We gals have to stick together. :)

Starby, new recruit, quick, we've got to get to her before the boys do, you know how sneaky they are! :eek:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

I'm so with you on that! :D

::boing squeak, boing squeak, snap, crash::

Crap, Starby, we broke Stringers bed. RUN!!!!!!! :eek:

OMG! There are feathers everywhere! Alty quick... scoop some up for me! I need those!. and grab the Sheriff's glue!

I will aim at Stringer. Stringer you better move out of the way, I aim pretty good and I have quite a right hook. :)

Got the feathers ::pfft, pfft:: yuck, they don't taste good. Got the glue. Crap, the glue bottle broke, I'm covered in glue, aaaaah, the feathers, NOOOOO!!

I'm officially covered in feathers. Why don't we just quit while we're behind?

Do you think Stringer will notice ::pfft, pfft:: ?

Quote:

Originally Posted by arnimal7

Me likey pillow fights. :)

Hiiiiiii Sweety... here sit down you thirsty? Don't believe these other girls, they are just spittin' out bad things about this nice sheriff... yep I be a good guy... and I have a good lookin' Deputy too... you will love it in here... we are so kind and NICE...

I am waiting for excon... I know his radar will pick up on this... hee hee.

Quote:

Originally Posted by starbuck8

OMG!! There are feathers everywhere! Alty quick...scoop some up for me!! I need those!...and grab the Sheriff's glue!

You're STILL a plucked Duck!! :eek::D:eek:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stringer

Hiiiiiii Sweety...here sit down you thirsty? Don't believe these other girls, they are just spittin' out bad things about this nice sheriff....yep I be a good guy...and I have a good lookin' Deputy too....you will love it in here....we are so kind and NICE....

I am waiting for excon....i know his radar will pick on this....hee hee.

Arnimal... don't trust him! He's crossing his fingers behind his back! He already turned me into a featherless DUCK! No saying what he will do to you! :eek:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stringer

Hiiiiiii Sweety...here sit down you thirsty? Don't believe these other girls, they are just spittin' out bad things about this nice sheriff....yep I be a good guy...and I have a good lookin' Deputy too....you will love it in here....we are so kind and NICE....

I am waiting for excon....i know his radar will pick on this....hee hee.

Arnimal, don't believe him for one minute, he's sneaky. Don't let his good looks and sweet ways fool you, as soon as you turn your back he'll pounce. He stole my whip, he also keeps trying to cook Starby. Can you trust a man like that?

:: pftt, pftt :: These feathers are annoying. :(

There's feathers in my drink. :P

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

Got the feathers ::pfft, pfft:: yuck, they don't taste good. Got the glue. Crap, the glue bottle broke, I'm covered in glue, aaaaah, the feathers, NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm officially covered in feathers. Why don't we just quit while we're behind?

Do you think Stringer will notice ::pfft, pfft:: ?

Hardee Har Har... Ya are now 'Glued and Feathered'... and not one feather got stuck on that DUCK!! She's STILL plucked..! Nakie and scared... standing there shaking and trying to cover the 'important' parts... hee a hee he heee...

Animal... see... you want to be on the good guys side... too many things go wrong with the duck!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

Arnimal, don't believe him for one minute, he's sneaky. Don't let his good looks and sweet ways fool you, as soon as you turn your back he'll pounce. He stole my whip, he also keeps trying to cook Starby. Can you trust a man like that?

:: pftt, pftt :: These feathers are annoying. :(

Why are you so clumsy? I told you not to spill the glue! :rolleyes: Oh noooo... I hear the Sheriff coming down the hall! Haul A$$ Alty... let's make our escape!

Um sir sheriff person... im here for visitation hour? Where do I go?

Do they allow conjugal visits in this here jail?

If they don't.. . I better not check in.. . Nobody wants to deal with me when I am frustrated ;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by arnimal7

There's feathers in my drink. :P

Here sweetie, let me pick that feather out... there... now drink up... it is good for you...

Quick Darkvision, keep stringer occupied while us girls escape. :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by darkvision

Um sir sheriff person....im here for visitation hour? where do i go?

Hhhmmm "Dark'... interesting name... I think we have work for YOU!

1 Attachment(s)

Quote:

Originally Posted by darkvision

Um sir sheriff person....im here for visitation hour? where do i go?

You could come to my cell, help me get these feathers off before I'm busted.

Don't I look pathetic?

Attachment 17346

Starby, Arnimal, Justy, I distracted them with a decoy. Quick, meet me in the laundry room, there has to be some way to get these feathers off.

:: pfft, pfft :: ACHOO! Crap! :(

Quote:

Originally Posted by starbuck8

Why are you so clumsy? I told you not to spill the glue! :rolleyes: Oh noooo....I hear the Sheriff coming down the hall! Haul A$$ Alty...let's make our escape!

Look at the trail of feathers Alty left behind, no wonder that sneaky Stringer knew exactly where you were hiding...

Geesh, you two won't ever make it 007 this way. :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by Justwantfair

Do they allow conjugal visits in this here jail?

If they don't. . . I better not check in. . . Nobody wants to deal with me when I am frustrated ;)

Raise your hand. repeat after me... "The sheriff promised that I would NEVER be frustrated...cause he promised...didn't he...."

Quote:

Originally Posted by arnimal7

Quick Darkvision, keep stringer occupied while us girls escape. :)

*Puts on Right said Fred- I'm to sexy for my shirt and starts striping*

Is this working?

Poo, I've got to go, things to do, feathers to pluck, you know, same old same old.

Welcome Arnimal and Dark, we'll have to come up with some nicknames for you.

I'll leave that to the others.

Later kids, be good.

:: pfft, pfft :: This sucks!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

You could come to my cell, help me get these feathers off before I'm busted.

Don't I look pathetic?

Attachment 17346

Starby, Arnimal, Justy, I distracted them with a decoy. Quick, meet me in the laundry room, there has to be some way to get these feathers off.

:: pfft, pfft :: ACHOO! Crap! :(

No girls... that's not a drug in your drink... AND that really isn't a chain on ya'll's legs... nope just looks like one... HEY Deputy... want to have some fun, they're all kind of dizzy?? Well hurry... run!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Justwantfair

Look at the trail of feathers Alty left behind, no wonder that sneaky Stringer knew exactly where you were hiding...

Geesh, you two won't ever make it 007 this way. :D

We always manage to trick the Sheriff! Quick... this way... I dug a secret tunnel... C'mon girls... tippy toe! Sshhhhh...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stringer

Raise your hand., repeat after me...."The sheriff promised that I would NEVER be frustrated...cause he promised...didn't he...."

Rut row... I may be getting more than I bargained for in this here cell...

Quote:

Originally Posted by darkvision

*Puts on Right said Fred- im to sexy for my shirt and starts striping*

is this working?

It's working for me! :D

Ahhh, sidetracked, sidetracked! Leaving now. Bye kids! ;)

Wait, I have to ask something first.

Dark, are you male or female? Okay, that's a weird question to ask, especially since I just watched you strip. Sorry. :o

Leaving now, going, going, gone!

BYE! :p

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

You could come to my cell, help me get these feathers off before I'm busted.

Don't I look pathetic?

Attachment 17346

Starby, Arnimal, Justy, I distracted them with a decoy. Quick, meet me in the laundry room, there has to be some way to get these feathers off.

:: pfft, pfft :: ACHOO! Crap! :(

Looks like a very "hard" task but someone has to do it!

*takes a feather off and gets distracted and starts tickling with it*(not my fault I have ADHD)

Edit-male.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

You could come to my cell, help me get these feathers off before I'm busted.

Don't I look pathetic?

Attachment 17346

Starby, Arnimal, Justy, I distracted them with a decoy. Quick, meet me in the laundry room, there has to be some way to get these feathers off.

:: pfft, pfft :: ACHOO! Crap! :(

Ok... sorry I was staring... NOW, back to business...

NOOOO, not that scary song, nooo my ears, I am tainted for life, help me ladies.

Quote:

Originally Posted by darkvision

*Puts on Right said Fred- im to sexy for my shirt and starts striping*

is this working?

Hey... do you have a getaway car? You must be to sexy for your car... too sexy by far!

Quote:

Originally Posted by darkvision

*Puts on Right said Fred- im to sexy for my shirt and starts striping*

is this working?

NO! Put your shirt back on... DOES NUTTIN' FOR ME!!!!! Pay attention Dark, LOCK the cells... if you stay on track you can be my second Deputy...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

Poo, I've got to go, things to do, feathers to pluck, you know, same old same old.

Welcome Arnimal and Dark, we'll have to come up with some nicknames for you.

I'll leave that to the others.

Later kids, be good.

:: pfft, pfft :: This sucks!

Then why do sumptin' that you don't want to do? Makes no sense to me... stay in 'play land.'