Quote:

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

I am innocent.

Completely innocent.

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The only reason I don't step aside to avoid the lightening strike is I haven't had that happen to me yet so why the hell not?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

Phone rings. I answer.

Me: hello

Male caller: Allo, you be interesting in phone?

Me: I'm interesting on the phone?

Male caller: No, you be interesting in phone?

Me: I already have a phone, that's why, when you called, I answered.

Male caller: Yes but you wanting 2 phone?

Me: I already have two phones, actually, I have 4.

Male caller: Yes, but all phone same number?

Me: No.

Male caller: No? What is number?

Me: Well one of the numbers is the one you dialed, the other is private.

Male caller: Oh. You want 3 phone?

Me: No thank you.

Male caller: Oh. What I say now?

Me: How about good bye?

Male caller: No. I have to sell phone. You have phone. How I sell if you have?

Me: You don't.

Male caller: Oh.

Me: Time for good bye?

Male caller: Okay.

::click::

I'm changing my number. :(

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Nice :cool:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

KISS, I usually don't answer, or just say "no thanks" and hang up. That conversation is what happens when I'm bored out of my mind. :o

I once had a very interesting conversation with a phone solicitor. I don't remember it word for word, but here it goes to the best of my recollection.

Me: Hello.

Guy: Hi, we have a wonderful promotion going on right now and you are one of the lucky people that have been selected. You will receive the newspaper for free for 2 weeks, and after that we will cut the price in half for a month.

Me: No thank you.

Guy: But it's free for 2 weeks. If you decide you don't want it after the 2 weeks you can always cancel it. So can I get your name and address?

Me: No thanks.

Guy: But it's free. Don't you want to be able to have the paper, there are tons of wonderful articles and a crossword puzzle once a week, not to mention the tv listings. If you want you can cancel it after the 2 weeks. All I need is your name and address.

Me: No thanks.

Guy: Can I ask why?

Me: You just did.

Guy: But can you tell me why?

Me: Sure I can, but I won't.

Guy: But it's free!

Me: Nothing is free.

Guy: But it is free and you can cancel it before we start charging for it.

Me: Then it's not free, because I'd have to go through the trouble of canceling it. It's not worth my time, so I repeat...no thanks.

Guy: But it's free!

Me: You know what you are?

Guy: Pardon?

Me: You're a rapist.

Guy: WHAT!???

Me: How many times have I said no and you still won't give up. No means no!

Guy: You called me a rapist!

Me: Well consider that my free opinion.

:: click ::

My work here is done. ;)

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LMAO :D you're a rapist :D,

Note to self: must try this

I've just come back from torturing my children,feels good,sometimes I forget the perks of having teenagers.

There is so much more you can do with them then your led to believe.
Their laziness and whining got my creative juices flowing.

Yep,I feel good.

someone on my Facebook just posted:

Person X: y can't people speak IN english when I ring up my fone contract!!

oh the irony :D

My method of getting rid of telemarketers was going extremely well, until...

Telemarketer: Hello!
Me: (spanish) HI!
Telemarketer: (spanish) Oh wow! You speak spanish! Great! I'm ***** and I'd like to tell you about...
Me: (Korean) Uh, I'm sorry?
Telemarketer: (Korean) You speak korean too?! My dad was Korean!!
Me: (silence)... *click*

... what are the freaking odds...

Morning, Nice Bear.

I have had been dealing with these people that have been calling me ever since I signed up for their thing they had at my county fair. Big mistake signing up. My conversation went like this:

Me: Hello

Them: Yes, calling for Mr. Brock.

Me: This is he

Them: we are doing a follow up on your card that you filled out at the fair in your county and we see you wanted to update your windows.

Me: yea, I guess.

Them: well, we would like to come give you a free estimate for these.

Me: Well, I really don't care about the windows as much now, how about the cabinetry or bathrooms?

Them: What kind of windows do you have?

Me: What?

Them: What kind of windows do you have, how many paned, what kind of frame, how old?

Me: I am not interested anymore.

Them: when can we set up an appointment?

Me: Tomorrow?

Them: Ok, how about 6:30?

Me: OK.

Them: How about Thursday at 6:30?

Me: OK, wait, no I don't want to, I will just cancel everything.

Them: we really need to give you this free estimate, when can we do it?

Me: how about Thursday then?

Them: OK.

Me: Wait, no I do not want to do this, just withdraw me from everything, I am done.

Them: Sir, this is a good offer and we need to do this estimate for you.

Me: Well, maybe, no. I am going to pass.

Them: Well when would be a good time to reschedule.

Me: I will do it on my own time. Thank you goodbye.


Drove me crazy. Sorry this is so long.

The girlfriend brought me pancakes and bacon this morning for breakfast. Yummy.

... ah, what to do with my 10 hours of freedom today..

Hello everyone!

I have wonderful news!

Hey emop. What's your news?

Finally, People!!

Sneezy, trade me places for awhile!

Yes Emop, I want to hear some good news.

Sunny, hello.

Hey adam. My dream boy. No it wasn't a nightmare.

No nightmare? Hmm... Alty lied to me... :(

How are you doing my love?

I am moving in September!

Meaning: no more horrible dad and insanely unstable family

Good for you Emop

Quote:

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Originally Posted by adam_89

Good for you Emop

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Thanks adam!
Or I'm just getting a car...

Either way is good right?

Hmm. If that's a choice I would get a car. Transportation opens more doors.

Hey adam I had a dream you were taking me to the movies. I super liked you and wanted to go so bad. But unky was going with us and I was really upset over that because I was hoping for some... well some time alone. Then I kept thinking why would you like me I am 37 and it was so weird. I was so crushing on you babe! Wait was that a dream?

I want to say to a poster 'maybe you have a teeny weeny winkle,huh,bet that never crossed your mind,of course it has to be your wife that's the problem... NOT!'

But of course I'm not going to,just had to get it out of my system.

I don't think it was a dream hun...

If you weren't married and I wasn't pretty much married I would be in NY in a heartbeat.