Quote:

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

For M.

A woman posts an ad in the news paper that looks like this...

'Looking for man with these qualifications; won't beat me up; or run away from me and is great in bed.'

She got lots of phone calls replying to her ad but met someone perfect at her door one day. The man she met said, "Hi, I'm Bob. I have no arms so I won't beat you up and no legs so I won't run away."

So the lady says, "What makes you think you are great in bed?"

Bob replies, "I rang the door bell didn't I?"

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Ha Ha Ha... :p

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

Take plenty of aspirin and call me in the morning.

Ooh, better idea, forget the aspirin, just come over and I'll make you breakfast in the morning, you know, after doing stuff.

I'll make the big bad headache go away. I promise. :)

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Lots and lots of water asap is good... followed by a lot of "ill never do that again"s... followed by another long day...

Reset. Rewind. Do over.

Sometimes.

I behave mostly... until I don't...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by kp2171

sigh...

its a thing that is comprosed of fabric that is sewn to take on the shape of a tea kettle... so... you would heat up some tea in your kettle and JUST LIKE A WOMAN youd suddenly decide maybe you wanted it now or maybe you wanted it later but you couldnt decide...

well then... slide that tea kettle into that tea cozy... kind of like a tailored n fitted comforter for the cozy... and your hot wa wa would stay hoterish for longerish.

...

...

nascar. si swimsuit models. playoffs. diamond blade wet saw...

...

that about evens it out...

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When I want tea, I nuke a cup of water for 2 minutes, then throw a tea bag and some sugar in the cup.

You can keep nascar and the playoffs. Can I share the models and the saw?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by hheath541

you can keep nascar and the playoffs. can i share the models and the saw?

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Mmmmaybe...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by hheath541

so, they're like tissue box covers. something old and/or bored women make to give away as gifts to people they don't know well enough to get REAL gifts for.

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Exactly! Also, don't forget, they have to be made of the most hideous material you can find.

Speaking of tissue box covers. I saw one of those crochet dog kleenex box covers at a garage sale the other day, and a ceramic frog brillo pad holder.

Ah, memories.

Yeah... I say a busty brunette looking at crap at a yard sale sometime in the past...

Ah, mammories...

The worst "I'll never drink again" was at my after grad.

You know you're drunk if you end up having sex behind an old shed in a farmers field with a guy you've known for 10 years and never liked.

I think I slept for 3 days after that.

Don't even remind me about the vodka incident. My friends still remind about that and it was 21 years ago!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by kp2171

yeah... i say a busty brunette looking at crap at a yard sale sometime in the past...

ah, mammories...

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LOL! Silly boy. You're cute when you're drunk. :)

At least I make sure that the things I make are never tacky, ugly, or useless.

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Originally Posted by kp2171

mmmmaybe....

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What if I use the saw while wearing a swimsuit? Then, will you share?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by hheath541

at least i make sure that the things i make are never tacky, ugly, or useless.

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Me too. Just look at my kids, they're not tacky, they're adorable, and they're... um... well... 2 out of 3 ain't bad. :o ;)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by hheath541

what if i use the saw while wearing a swimsuit? then, will you share?

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I may want in on this deal.

k.

I am spent.

Done.

... I know... calling "uncle" first is a shame.

k.

I'm that guy.

Out and over until next time...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by hheath541

what if i use the saw while wearing a swimsuit? then, will you share?

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Perhapsish.

Outie all..

Sweet dreams.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

The worst "I'll never drink again" was at my after grad.

You know you're drunk if you end up having sex behind an old shed in a farmers field with a guy you've known for 10 years and never liked.

I think I slept for 3 days after that.

Don't even remind me about the vodka incident. My friends still remind about that and it was 21 years ago!

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My worst involved bicardi. I asked a friend's husband for a threesome then asked her to have me spayed when she took the cat in to get fixed.

That's the only time I've had bicardi, and I don't plan on ever drinking it again. 2-3 bottles and a couple shots have never gotten me so messed up before. It's usually only enough to get me slightly past tipsy.

I have to go too, but KP bowed out first. I want that on the record!

Night all. I'm taking my friend out driving tomorrow. She's going for her drivers license on Thursday and she's nervous, so I said I'd take her out and about, seeing as she needs a responsible adult with a license to go with her.

Ya, I know, but I was the only one that had time!

Anyway, I should be rested so that I can see the truck coming towards us in time to grab the steering wheel and save us all.

So night. :)

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

So night. :)

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See you between the sheets.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by kp2171

see ya between the sheets.

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Race you there. :)

Night. I'm going to join you guys. Just let me get all the cats off my lap and pee, then I'll crawl into bed with you. We can all cuddle up.