Just popping in on my usual time! Night to all those who had gone to bed! Alty, your avy reminds me of somebody... ;)
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Just popping in on my usual time! Night to all those who had gone to bed! Alty, your avy reminds me of somebody... ;)
Seems to be a newbie? Welcome Knewy! (got a nick!! HAhahaha!)
Quote:
Originally Posted by starbuck8
Confused...the bats in the castle play...baseball?
Good Morning... hugs to all, I got to get the four kids and myself out the gosh darn door... ;)
Six reasons why you should think before you speak -
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the
Words back...
Or that you could crawl into a hole?
Here are a few people who did... _
FIRST
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and
Asked loudly,
'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?'
I turned around and walked back out and never went back
My husband didn't say a word... he knew better.
SECOND:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
After browsing for several minutes,
I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the
Store.
He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said, 'I think I like playing with
Men's balls'
THIRD:
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
Variety of candy and nuts.
As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter
Asked if we needed any help.
I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at your nuts.'
My sister started to laugh hysterically.
The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
To this day, my sister has never let me forget
FOURTH:
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release
Some pent-up energy and ran amok.
I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust
And annoyance from other patrons.
I told her that if she did not start behaving 'right now' she would be
Punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as
Threatening,
'If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you
Kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!'
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.
I mustered up the last of my dignity and
Walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of
Laughter.
FIFTH:
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I
Was on him constantly.
One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands
It was very busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked
My seven-month-old daughter, she was clean.
The realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while.
I asked him if he needed to go, and he said 'No' .
I kept thinking 'Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't
Have any clothes with me.'
Then I said, 'Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?'
'No,' he replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was
Getting worse.
Soooooo, I asked one more time, 'Danny did you have an accident ? This
Time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks
And yelled 'SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS! '
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he
Calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd
Ever had!
LAST BUT NOT LEAST:
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days
And a very embarrassed female news anchor who will,
In the future, likely think before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!
We had a female news anchor that,
The day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,
Turned to the weatherman and asked:
'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?'
Not only did HE have to leave the set,
But half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!
Quote:
Originally Posted by startover22
Mostly... be safe... good morning.
Thanks Stringer, I have read the obove, I hope everyone gets a chance to see it!
I would like to give a shout out to albear... ALBEAR SWEET HONEY< ARE YOU STILL ALIVE? :)
Stringer, you have a great and safe day too... hugs
Morning everyone.
Good morning.. all
Morning All!
Quote:
Originally Posted by bigbird213
Morning BB... how's the "new" social life going at school?
Its not bad so far Stringer...
Class today was cancelled so I guess I'm done for the day. Gives me plenty of time to figure out what I'm doing tonight. Haven't gone out the past few days, so I'd like to do something tonight. Hanging around the room is fun for a while, but it gets old quick
Hey Biggie, if you're bored you can come here, help me clean house. How about it? I pay in beer, and pizza, and angel food cake. :)
We can go out after we're done, I'll take you to the local pub, introduce you to Elton the bartender, he likes me, gives me free drinks, I'll share them with you. :)
Come on, hop on a plane, it'll be fun. :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by bigbird213
Yeah, I know... the walls start to close in on you. I roomed with 3 other guys my first year at Pitt... blew the whole year my friend... these guys were great... BUT parteeeee ALL the time. I never knew who would be in the room come morning... but we were taking three bags of trash out each day...
Again, Elton???? What do I have to do Alty... lock you up again in your cell?:DQuote:
Originally Posted by Altenweg
Sounds tempting Alty,
I could use some pizza :)
Stringer: I know the feeling. First time with my own apartment - might be throwing a party in here soon enough :)
Elton loves me, Elton gives me alcohol, and sings for me, he's my buddy! :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Stringer
Lock me up? In a cell? With handcuffs? :D :cool:
Quote:
Originally Posted by bigbird213
Mmmmmm, pizza, and beer, and cleaning, and partying. Tempting, isn't it? :D
Certainly is.. . except maybe the cleaning part :)
This weekend I'm headed back home to go up to the school that 90% of my friends went to.. might be a little bit of a "long" weekend :) I'm sure I can arrange some pizza
Slowly, Marta is finding out about my somewhat wild past... slowly...Quote:
Originally Posted by Altenweg
But she says; "I am so glad that you sowed all your wild oats before I met you..." Yes, I did, I did, I did... yes...
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