I mean Sarah =P =PQuote:
Originally Posted by none12345
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I mean Sarah =P =PQuote:
Originally Posted by none12345
Good point Joe , we've already seen Herbie/Hermie :eek:Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesushelper76
edited :: Now you guys know what I look like. I don't really feel comfortable with my pictures being on the net since I've gotten them stolen before. All my pictures are on photobucket set on private =)
Woo Hoo... sexy Momma ;)
Ehh.
Hope your satisfied.
Sarah
Attachment 18607Quote:
Originally Posted by mudweiser
:p
hehe prettifull too =P
You want to hear something silly. I really want to cry right now. It really doesn't feel right when I get compliments. Honestly since I broke it off with my husband it's been great, I feel free but I still feel like I look like a toad.
Sorry guys for being such a bad sport but this is something that really hits me hard.
Sarah
Beautiful...
Sorry I just saw your post, but you know what... These compliments should lift your spirit.
We're all here for you Sarah , just vent when you want. And your georgous really , right guys :cool:Quote:
Originally Posted by mudweiser
Attachment 18608
Thanks guys. Really- I know your being genuine but well I don't know what to say about my issue. It's really how I feel about me not how others see me. It's been an issue for a really long long time.
Sarah
[QUOTE=friend4u178;1671270]We're all here for you Sarah , just vent when you want. And your georgous really , right guys :cool:
Yes, that is right...
I'm actually really really scared to tell you guys about the ugly elephant that's around me every day. I can tell you this- I haven't told anybody about it and I'm actually choked up. I just hate myself sometimes.
Sarah
Its honestly okay Sarah, We are all here...
of course, couldn't say it better myself Sarah =PQuote:
Originally Posted by friend4u178
Well I trust you guys. You do help people. So here it goes.
I was born to a schizo mom. She was in and out of my life. I don't know my real dad and the one that supposedly is, was always working out of town. I was in kindergarten, I came home from school from my yellow bus and no one was home, again. I was repeatedly locked out of my house. Soon enough my mom had these "friends". I would be a their house a lot from the ages of 5ish to 10/11 . I know in my heart that something happened. I remember crying and screaming and a shadow over me. I had nightmares, I wet my bed till I was 14 and was always very very afraid. Like I said I know something happened but I am certain I blocked it out. If I think about it hard enough I can remember the smell of mint cigarettes, a wetness and just overall anxiety comes over me- it's not a good feeling. I really cannot remember the ages of 5 to around 13.
When I turned 15 I "fell" in love with a guy who was 20. We were getting physical and I told him to stop but he said "too late" and well sex I didn't want to happen happened.
Later on in life I met my ex husband. He was great at first. I told him about the 20 year old and when he'd get upset with me he'd hold me down or throw a blanket over me and lay on top of me. I'd have complete melt downs, my heart would race like a stampede- I felt like I was back where I was a long time ago. He'd eventually say things like "girls that got raped deserve it" or "why don't you go back to Tom" [that's not his real name by the way]. He would say really mean things to me and call me every name in the book. Sometimes after sex he'd say "your lucky I banged you--look at yourself"- and it just reminded me on how ugly everyone else told me I was [my mom, friends that turned on me, etc.].
Through out my life this big ugly elephant has followed me. Don't get me wrong I am a happy person, I like to think positive, I love helping people. I honestly think I turned vegan when I was young because my mom would never be home an all there would be was old fruits and vegetables and I took in strays in as my brothers and sisters [I know that sounds so weird].
This is just a part of me that haunts me.
Sarah
Where is this pic? Did I miss it somewhere? I can't find it here! Is it over in the kidnapped room?
Edit:: I was posting just when you were Herbie. Now I'll go read!
Sarah,
I can say that every one of us has something that haunts us or and follows us around. Might be different situations or family dynamics. Physical, Sexual, emotional abuse. For some reason it happens a lot. The thing is now that you have a little one, it is the best opportunity to be the best parent you can be and try to do your best to make sure that your little one does not go through what you went through.
It must have been so scary... but now you need to do your best to overcome that especially for you little bundle of joy... Right?
Growing up in that envirement no wonder why you feel the way you do. Have you ever shared this with anybody before?
No. I tried telling my mom and she said I was stupid and I was making it all up.
Otherwise you guys are the only ones that know my truth.
Trust me when I say : I want the best for my daughter. I got out of the relationship, I'm on my own, things are looking up. I've bucked up a long time ago when it comes to that shadow, as long as I shove it back down I'm going to be okay.
Sarah
Sarah, trust me, we all have an ugly elephant in one form or another.
I've told my story here. Before that, only 2 people knew. At that time I didn't think I'd be sticking around here. Yes, I'd made a few friends, but I really didn't think AMHD would become what it has for me.
So, I told my story, people I respect and care about read it, and wow, what a relief, they stuck by me.
You're not alone. We listen, that's what we do. We help people with their problems, and all of us, at one time or another, came her because we had a problem of our own.
Maybe it's time to get this all off your chest, let someone else help carry the load. Don't you think?
Big hug sweetie! :)
Sarah, just so you know you're not alone.
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/mental...me-195877.html
NOT FAIR AT ALL!! I just came and Mud you deleted your pic... not fair.. :mad:Quote:
Originally Posted by friend4u178
EDIT: OKkkkkkkkk... now I seee what all the guys are 'fussin' 'bout... I agree, you are a cutie Mud.
No I put it back there Stringer.Quote:
Originally Posted by Stringer
EDIT: Thanks.
Sarah
Thanks Alty for sharing. Really I appreciate it. Makes me feel not so alone. I don't really want to make this a thread though I'd like to keep it here where it's "safer".Quote:
Originally Posted by Altenweg
Sarah
Sarah, you're beautiful, wow! :)
I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that. That must have been so scary, especially when you were young, and you felt like there was no one there to help you. That is just awful that you had so little to eat like that, and your mother left you alone and took you to strange houses with strangers that were just as sick as she was herself.
You no doubt married your husband because of all of this, and he was no good for you. He treated you just like all the others in your life did, and you let him because it's what you felt comfortable with, and you didn't think you deserved any better than that. That is how abusive people seek you out! They can almost literally smell the people that have been abused, and they prey on them. They ALWAYS start nice! Then they start to use your pain to get you to feel like you deserve what happened to you, and then the way that they treat you. It's almost like a game to them to see how far they can break you down, and you go willingly! What your husband did and said to you was FLAT OUT ABUSE! That was one sick game he was playing with you! He is an abusive man, physically, verbally, mentally, and emotionally! He didn't deserve for you to love him, and you didn't deserve to be abused by any of these people! NOT your mother, NOT the guy in the shadow, NOT "Tom", and NOT your husband! He should've been the one to protect you, and instead he was another INTRUDER!
You need to get help from a councelor Sarah! You really do. Things that get pushed back always come forward again. They don't go away unless you get some counseling for it! I know you would never do anything to hurt your daughter, but there are likely things that you will do, even if you don't mean to, because of the things you went through. Please talk with a counselor. You will be doing both yourself and your daughter a really big favour if you do.
Edit:: I just saw your pic! Wow girl... you got it going on! ;) Beautiful!
Told you so :pQuote:
Originally Posted by Altenweg
mudweiser...
I was referred to this page by altenweg. She says, "She seems to be your type."
I hurriedly came to this page to see your picture.
... yummy. Wait. Is that inappropriate?
If so, then, you are REALLY cute... and how old are you?
... single, perhaps?
Almost everyone on the desk is a caring person, we have all let ourselves divulge a secret feeling or ten...
Those experiences have helped us help others and in turn help ourselves Mud... I think when it all shakes out we are all the better for it too.
Stringer
Jeesh, I said she was your type, not that you could have her Sneezy! Back off!
Boys! :(
Okay, Sarah, I'm on the phone with Sneezy and all he can talk about is how cute you are. He's drooling over your picture right now.
Just fyi, he's my boy toy, so stop it! ;)
Sneezy, get back in my room and stop saying WOW! I know! She's pretty! Down boy! Jeesh.
I should have kept my mouth shut. :(
It's only natural Alty dear... we are amazed at her beauty... right guys... am I right here? :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Altenweg
I'm 22 I have a daughter and I'm just getting out of a marriage - sorry sneeze but Alty already called dibs on you.Quote:
Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny
Sarah
Okay, shameless plug.
Sneezy is 23, Asian, cute, single, pre-med, has a dog, lives in Atlanta, possibly New York if accepted into med school.
He's sweet, smart, sometimes annoying, wants me to say innocent, which is a crock, and rjust really a nice guy.
There, now give my $20 Sneezy! :)
Edit; He's also good with children, because he still is one. That'll cost you another $10 Sneezy!
Starbuck8 thanks for those great supportive words. I know I need to see a councilor, I am very aware of that. Honestly right now. It's is really hard being on my own. I have all the bills to pay for, I work from 9-5 in accounting and right now I'm actually looking for another job. Breaking up IS hard to do.
Sarah
Geeeeze... what a resume'Quote:
Originally Posted by Altenweg
Hard, but sometimes necessary. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by mudweiser
I know, I'm good aren't I? Want me to write yours? ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Stringer
Seriousl Mud, have you thought of modeling?
Stringer
Yes, I would be interested... go for it...Quote:
Originally Posted by Altenweg
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