Ask Me Help Desk - Castle time! Castle time!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

I'd go from a fly problem to three very unhappy itchy people.

R and the kids are only affected if they pet cats. Sadly, they love cats and have to pet them!

Itchy red eyes are just the beginning. R actually gets welts. :(

The flies are going down in numbers. I know what's causing it, it's the bunnies. I clean their cages every day, but there's always a stray poop that I miss, and one stray poop, one fly, all of a sudden you have millions.

It's getting better, but I don't think I'll ever be fly free because I'll never be bunny free.

So that means you won't be requesting the services of my elite fly SWATter team? They're not old enough to produce dander, yet.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Catsmine

And you don't take care of her. Have you even oiled the leather in the last six months? I thought not.

Oil and leather as well as whips? This sounds like an interesting castle. :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

You're in my head now QLP, it's a scary place but tons of fun.

Someone get poor Q out of the dungeon and bring her to my chambers, I must find her a job to do in the castle.

You sure you're not in mine? I feel a certain influence here, something is bringing out my naughty side. I've been Altied!! :eek:

Altied... All tied... my brain is going into naughty overdrive now, see what you did to me wicked queen!

Quote:

Originally Posted by QLP

You sure you're not in mine? I feel a certain influence here, something is bringing out my naughty side. I've been Altied!!!! :eek:

Altied..... All tied..... my brain is going into naughty overdrive now, see what you did to me wicked queen!

Once we get you completely Al-tied then we shift over to my fantasy world.

Oboyoboyoboyoboy, fresh meat!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

Bella, Stringer lies!

Suzy is actually name Salvador. I left my duties for a short time and left Stringer in charge. Foolishly, trustingly, in good faith, I gave Salvador for him to carry while he took my place.

When I came back from my rest, took over my duties, Stringer refused to give Salvador back.

For over a year poor Salvador has been held hostage in Stingers office, put in a cage, locked away, never allowed to see the light of day, to feel a humans touch. :(

That is the fate of Salvador.

Stringer even went so far as to emasculate him, turn him into a girl! :eek:

I weep for my poor Salvador, now known as Suzie. A poor gentle creature locked away, kept from his/her mistress. It's a tragedy.

Sadly, I could not get SuzySal back, so I was forced to look for another. Now I have Alejandro, my strong and loyal whip and he shall never leave my side. I will never again entrust my whip to anyone.

One day, when Stringer let's his guard down, I will get SuzySal back and then Alejandro, SuzySal and I shall rule the world.

Muwahahahahahahahahahahaha. Ha. :cool:

Wow. You do have a fertile mind too... :D

Wishes just wishes... she would not go with you. She told me of the ostracizes that happened when you owned her, she is delighted to be with me... Safe in my care.

Baker on duty. I'm making sticky buns for breakfast. Haha - seems appropriate. :D

Court Jester here. Here's the joke for the day!

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!

Now I'm off to my part time job I had to pick up as the pay here sucks!

See you all Sunday! Play nice! :)

**Swats Kitty one last time, because she knows she will be in that butter dish while she is gone.**

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aurora_Bell

Court Jester here. Here's the joke for the day!

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!

Now I'm off to my part time job I had to pick up as the pay here sucks!!

See you all Sunday! Play nice! :)

**Swats Kitty one last time, because she knows she will be in that butter dish while she is gone.**

Kitty runs to jlo. Jlo nice give kitty bits of tuna. Bella nice(Have to say that or she'll have me declawed and )

Honeys I'm home.

I'm home too.

... I know it's weird that muddy and I walked in together... but, it's not like we walked in.. TOGETHER. We just happened to walk in... at the same time. No biggie, right?

Quote:

Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny

i'm home too.

...I know it's weird that muddy and I walked in together...but, it's not like we walked in..TOGETHER. we just happened to walk in...at the same time. no biggie, right?

Oooh fancy seeing you here Sneezy ;)

Why hello hello there.

Good afternoon. I probably won't stay to long today. I just haven't been in the mood. So we will see.

Hello? Is there anybody out there? Anybody home?

Hmm... guess not. What can I do to keep myself busy? Ooh, a bar. An open bar for me today!

Oh, hi Adam. Don't mind me, I'm just (heh heh) initiating QLP

Am I welcome in the castle?

Quote:

Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

Am I welcome in the castle?

Of course emop,be on your gurad though,you never know who might be lurking,the gators have to be fed everyday.

If I were you I get a job in the castle,I'm looking for help is the bar... ah,but your not 18... erm,let me think.

You don't have to be human?

So use your imagination.

How about a double agent?

But shush,don't tell anyone.

Quote:

Originally Posted by adam_89

Hello? Is there anybody out there? Anybody home?

Hmm... guess not. What can I do to keep myself busy? Ooh, a bar. An open bar for me today!

ADAM!

Did you drink all the beer!

:eek: no beer...

Guess its shots for everyone tonight.

Quote:

Originally Posted by redhed35

ADAM!

did you drink all the beer!

:eek: no beer....

guess its shots for everyone tonight.

JLo shots? I need one now. :o

1 Attachment(s)

Quote:

Originally Posted by redhed35

of course emop,be on your gurad though,you never know who might be lurking,the gators have to be fed everyday.

if i were you i get a job in the castle,im looking for help is the bar....ah,but your not 18...erm,let me think.

you dont have to be human?

so use your imagination.

how about a double agent?

but shush,dont tell anyone.

Well I'll be 18 on the 8th
Hmmm... I don't have to be a human... can I be a guard wolf? Pretty white?
Like this one

I think a guard wolf is perfect,want ot work for me,I'm subletting the space underneath the bar,I could do with a good guard wolf,damn cats keep peeing all over the place.

Quote:

Originally Posted by redhed35

i think a guard wolf is perfect,want ot work for me,im subletting the space underneath the bar,i could do with a good guard wolf,damn cats keep peeing all over the place.

Yes M'am!
Grrr
I'll get them kitties.

But... what does subletting mean?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Just Looking

JLo shots? I need one now. :o

A double jlo shot coming up,plus a welcome back pressie...

A 100% knock off AMHDt-shirt!

found them under the starby statue.

Kind of like leasin.

Excuse me, I ma just a little drunk.

Quote:

Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

Yes M'am!
grrr
I'll get them kitties.

but... what does subletting mean?

Sub letting means,the bar belongs to the castle,alty is the queen and I'm letting you live under the bar in exchange for keeping the cats out.

And anyone who tries to steal the beer!

All bodies go to catmine to feed to the gators.

Adam is exempt as we need him for emergency food.

Quote:

Originally Posted by adam_89

Kind of like leasin.

Excuse me, I ma jsut a little drunk.

Grr
So I'm guarding what is being leased?
Grrrokay

Quote:

Originally Posted by redhed35

sub letting means,the bar belong to the castle,alty is the queen and im letting you love under the bar in exchange for keeping the catis out.

and anyone who trys to steal the beer!

all bodies go to catmine to feed to the gators.

adam is exempt as we need him for emergency food.

O okay!

OO! I see one! I hope it isn't Kity!

Quote:

Originally Posted by adam_89

Kind of like leasin.

Excuse me, I ma jsut a little drunk.

Can't believe you drank all the beer,I'm going to have to spank you adam,

Now drop your pants and bend over.

Maybe wrong on that. Hey I think I seen a beer truck going down the road. It was probably M. So maybe he will bring more. I was awfully lonely and had to drink the beer

Quote:

Originally Posted by redhed35

a double jlo shot coming up,plus a welcome back pressie...

a 100% knock off AMHDt-shirt!

found them under the starby statue.

Did the cats pee on them? :rolleyes:

Quote:

Originally Posted by redhed35

cant believe you drank all the beer,im going to have to spank you adam,

now drop your pants and bend over.

Here I am! Or is it just, here I am.

Quote:

Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

O okay!

OO! I see one! i hope it isn't Kity!

Damn straight its kitty!

She's peeing all over the place and eating all the butter,she needs training.

Heath is the catwomen,we will have to capture kitty and hold her for ransom.

Quote:

Originally Posted by redhed35

damn straight its kitty!

shes peeing all over the place and eating all the butter,she needs training.

heath is the catwomen,we will have to capture kitty and hold her for ransom.

Yes M'am!
Grrrrr Kitty!

Gotcha!

Can I eat it?

Ever seen "The Book of Eli?" good movie. He ate a cat. Kind of necessary in his situation thoguh

Quote:

Originally Posted by Just Looking

Did the cats pee on them? :rolleyes:

No no,god no,I don't know what the smell is,but is not cat pee...

Its not too bad,here,spray some of this furniture polish on it...

Phew that stinks.

Erm jlo,that was glue,not polish,I'm afraid your stuck in that stinky t shirt.

At least until we can find a big strong man to help you out of it,but sure,no one ever reads back the pages,so you should be OK.

Your just a little stuck.

Quote:

Originally Posted by redhed35

no no,god no,i dont know what the smell is,but is not cat pee....

its not too bad,here,spray some of this furniture polish on it.....

phew that stinks.

erm jlo,that was glue,not polish,im afraid your stuck in that stinky t shirt.

at least untill we can find a big strong man to help you out of it,but sure,no one ever reads back the pages,so you should be ok.

your just a little stuck.

Hmmm... a big strong man to help me out of my t-shirt. I think I have just the guy. :p

I always read back the pages when I am bored and I know of a few others who do as well. Plus I am here now.

Quote:

Originally Posted by adam_89

Here I am! or is it just, here i am.

Oh adam,just your luck,jlo needs help out of a stinky t shirt and your too drunk to help... but your still going to get a whollop of this paddle.

Bold bold boy!:eek:

Quote:

Originally Posted by adam_89

Ever seen "The Book of Eli?" good movie. He ate a cat. kind of necessary in his situation thoguh

I fell asleep on my boyfriend's lap during that movie then again it was at 3 am

I thought the movie was worht a watch.

Red, hit me now while I can definitely bare the pain. I do tasks best when I am drunk. Come to daddy!