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Three (3) Minute Management Course

Lesson One:

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"

The eagle answered: "Sure, why not" So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.

All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

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Lesson Two:

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

" Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Management Lesson:

Bull sh*t might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

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Lesson Three:

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold; the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He laid there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Management Lesson:

(1) Not everyone who sh*ts on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of sh*t is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep sh*t, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

This ends the three minute management course!!!!!

I feel more management bound now.

My bubble of bullsh!t will eventually backfire on me though.

I'm having homemade chicken quesadillas tonight! Yum. I love me. :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by nikosmom

I'm having homemade chicken quesadillas tonight! yum.

What the...

Quote:

Originally Posted by nikosmom

I love me. :)

I love me too :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by Justwantfair

sausage butties... sounds kinky.

Sausage sarnies/ sandwiches, I think its just your dirty mind :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by friend4u178

What the..................

What? :confused:

Bear, I was wondering what the heck sausage butties were too! But you said you're in the UK, so I guess y'all have different names for stuff there. Sarnies? Never heard that term either. Well we're not having that when we go to Australia. Friend said we'd have BBQ and beeyah. :D

I could do BBQ and beer, I'm half way there already, I have beer! :)

Bear, I too would like to know what a buttie is. Is it sexual? ;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

I could do BBQ and beer, I'm half way there already, I have beer! :)

Bear, I too would like to know what a buttie is. Is it sexual? ;)

Alty, I think we're all just dirty dirties and have our minds in the gutter.
But I'm OK with that. :cool:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

Bear, I too would like to know what a buttie is. Is it sexual? ;)

Wrong room Alty :rolleyes:

Quote:

Originally Posted by friend4u178

Wong room Alty :rolleyes:

M dear, I can do it in any room! :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

M dear, I can do it in any room! :D

I know , remember those hidden cameras ;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by friend4u178

I know , remember those hidden cameras ;)

Well, I hope you're getting your money's worth dear, I'd hate to disappoint. :cool:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

M dear, I can do it in any room! :D

Me too; kitchen, bathroom, living room... ;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by friend4u178

I know , remember those hidden cameras ;)

Deputy... I need some more film... where did you put it?

Quote:

Originally Posted by nikosmom

Me too; kitchen, bathroom, living room... ;)

Don't forget; backyard, trailer, car, staircase in a 20 storey building, back of a UPS truck, woods, lake, swimming pool, bedroom... TMI? ;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stringer

Deputy....I need some more film...where did you put it?

LMAO! Stringer, when you're filming me, you need at least a 4 hour tape, the 90 minute ones don't cut it! :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

LMAO! Stringer, when you're filming me, you need at least a 4 hour tape, the 90 minute ones don't cut it! :D

I can understand that!

But alas, most things being filmed last but a few moments... based upon the film that I have already developed... but M we are going to be rich my friend... RICH I TELL YOU!!!!!!! :D:D:D:D:D

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

Don't forget; backyard, trailer, car, staircase in a 20 storey building, back of a UPS truck, woods, lake, swimming pool, bedroom....... TMI? ;)

... bed of a pickup truck, sleeping bag, hot tub, closet, movie theater (extra butter anyone?), deck... TMI? ;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by nikosmom

...bed of a pickup truck, sleeping bag, hot tub, closet, movie theater (extra butter anyone?), deck...... TMI? ;)

DAMN DEPUTY!!!!! PLEASE get me more film!! :eek::eek: