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Originally Posted by br_hjs

and instead of seeking advice... i'll go back to dealing with it myself.. i was so much happier when i did and didnt worry about as much.

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This probably means that some of what I have said is opening up something for you and it's very hard for you. Michelle, you were not happy then. That is why you are here, and reading your boyfriend's emails, checking out other websites he has used, etc. You are very sad and confused and you need people in your life who care. Why would you go and deal with things yourself when you have so much support here and so many people who really care?

If that's what you want, do it, but we all know that you are reaching out for something. Are you strong enough to take our hands, though?

I'm going to bed now, but you KNOW I care.

Hugs, Didi

I was happier then... I figured he didn't find other girls attractive, he did care about me, I had nothing to worry about... after coming here you all made me worry more and more and more and more.

All I want is the truth... and you can all tell me what you think but it doesn't mean its true because you don't know for sure. Only he does and I guess I'll never know. When I come here all I hear is the worst from people who dotn even know what the real truth is. The only thing that can make me happy is knowing that what he says to me is the truth. I would believe it if it weren't for the rest of the world. I believe him until I notice how everyone else is... Could he really be different than them? He seems to think its wrong to find others attractive so would he do it? Maybe you shouldn't answer that. I'm afraid of what I might hear

I was happier then... I figured he didn't find other girls attractive, he did care about me, I had nothing to worry about... after coming here you all made me worry more and more and more and more.

All I want is the truth... and you can all tell me what you think but it doesn't mean its true because you don't know for sure. Only he does and I guess I'll never know. When I come here all I hear is the worst from people who dotn even know what the real truth is. The only thing that can make me happy is knowing that what he says to me is the truth. I would believe it if it weren't for the rest of the world. I believe him until I notice how everyone else is... Could he really be different than them? He seems to think its wrong to find others attractive so would he do it? Maybe you shouldn't answer that. I'm afraid of what I might hear

There are several reasons I can't sleep... wondering this stuff about him is one of them, not being tired (sometimes), then the times I wake up gasping for air, dizzy, and in the middle of a breath that I feel I can't finnish and live through. I practically quit breathing sometimes.

But I am going to try to sleep now but I alrasy can't breathe. Anyway, I'll come back here tomorrow and let you know how things are.

Well I'm here and no one has said anything so I will come back either later or tomorrow

The waking up at night with breathing problems sounds like panic attacks.

(I just got home from work.)

Well that's what my dad kept having happen to him a few years ago when his best friend died around the same time my brother got sent to iraq. And my dads friends was my brothers rotc teacher when my brother was in high school. But I have asthma too. Couldn't that have something to do with it?

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Originally Posted by br_hjs

i was happier then... i figured he didnt find other girls attractive, he did care about me, i had nothing to worry about.... after comming here you all made me worry more and more and more and more.

All i want is the truth... and you can all tell me what you think but it doesnt mean its true because you dont know for sure. only he does and i guess i'll never know. when i come here all i hear is the worst from ppl who dotn even know what the real truth is. The only thing that can make me happy is knowing that what he says to me is the truth. i would believe it if it werent for the rest of the world. I believe him until i notice how everyone else is... Could he really be different than them? he seems to think its wrong to find others attractive so would he do it? Maybe you shouldnt answer that. I'm afraid of what i might hear

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Does anyone have anything to say about this... this is very important to me. But I think maybe I should just deal with it myself because if I don't then yeah pretty much what I just said. I think

Do you have an inhaler? Meds for the asthma?

Yeah I do but when it gets bad enough to where I need my inhaler, that doesn't even help

So what does the doctor say about times like that, when the inhaler doesn't help?

That's not the point though... nothings going to change any of that stuff. It's a waste of time talking about it and I'm going to go for a while to take a shower... I don't know if I will be back tonight or not. I'm kind of tired and I have homework 2 do 2 but I may need your help... its history

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

So what does the doctor say about times like that, when the inhaler doesn't help?

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I don't know I never see my doctor. They say they will make me an apointment when they have time but they never do have time I guess.

Don't you have to get renewals on your meds?

Like once a year I go to the doctor for that. But like I said... talking about it isn't going tgo do anything and I don't want to waste anymore of my time

What else do you have but time, and golly gee whiz, this is all about your health, isn't it??

I really don't want to talk about this and so I'm not going too. Its pointless. Im really healthy. I don't have asthma. I don't have any colds or sinuses. I get a lot of sleep and I eat right. I drink at least 8 glasses of whater a day. I exercise everyday. I'm fine now can I go take a shower, and when I come back can we talk about what I came here to talk about and not something else?

I refuse to theorize if your boyfriend is lying or not and if he flirts with other girls or not and if he means it or not. I'm suddenly having an asthma attack, my sinuses are full, I'm very tired, I'm hungry and thirsty, and I weigh 936 pounds.

Well good luck with that... but if your not going to talk to me about what I came her to talk about then I'm done. I don't want to waste anymore time talking about stuff idc about. I have other things to do. And guess what... I'm getting my license REALLY soon so I can see him more.