Funny!. good joke Joe! Doesn't hurt that I'm slurpin a beer! ;)
My grandparents were so religious, that I would have been struck down for telling that one! LOL! I loved them to death though!
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Funny!. good joke Joe! Doesn't hurt that I'm slurpin a beer! ;)
My grandparents were so religious, that I would have been struck down for telling that one! LOL! I loved them to death though!
Oh man. I just realized it's 410am.
... crap. I have a "gym date" tomorrow morn.
... I'm out like a fat kid playing dodgeball!
Ps - starbs, best. If you want, you give me the addy of this supposed ex... I'll go make his life a living hell. He doesn't realize what 5 lbs of sugar and a light spray hose can do to his house.
You know what, Oh boy some of the religious jokes I have told and heard. You would think the very religious would Condem me To Hell, but I would rather believe God has a sense of humour. Hmmm?
Oh my dear bodyguard Sneeny-poo! I will cover you, and you run up to his house and JUST DO IT... wear your sneakers... we might have to run like crazy from Leatherface! That's his really mean, rode hard and put away wet, crazy A$$ girlfriend! She's perty!. just like a flower... a cactus flower maybe! :DQuote:
Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny
OH... just for future reference? What does sugar and a mist of water actually do?
God says to Adam, "I have some good news and some bad news. What do you want to hear first?"
Adam says, "Tell me the good news first."
God says, "I'm going to give you a penis and a brain. You'll derive from these great pleasure and great intellect."
Adam replies, "Wonderful! But what's the bad news?"
God says, "I'm only going to give you enough blood supply to work one at a time."
You're fuuuunnnyy Dr Sneeze!. I've got visions of that fat guy playing dodge ball! G'nite Sir Sneeze! Get yer beauty sleep for your Gym date! ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny
Goodnight Sneezefunny,
HAHAHAHA! Oh, you wouldn't believe the ones that would make my grandparents do flip flops in their graves that I've told.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesushelper76
I can not wait to hear some of them. Hee Hee. I am waiting.
Right now I am watching George Carlin. That will make a lot of people turn. Hmmmm.
My Grandmother was such a staunch Christian, that I was going to hell every second day! We were'nt allowed to dance, because that was shaking our bodies for unholy men. We weren't allowed to go to movies, because they were all about sex. We couldn't play cards, because the devil was trying to trick us... and so on.
Do you know the song by Queen... Tie Your Mother Down? My Grandma cried for hrs because she thought we were going to kill our mother... lol
I'm so bad at jokes... well remembering jokes! I can't think of any right now.
Here's one though. I hope this doesn't offend anyone, lol.
An elderly man was driving down the road late at night and saw an Indian woman hitchiking. He thought to himself, well this young girl shouldn't be out here so late, I will stop and give her a ride.
She hops into his car, and they drive off down the road. She started rubbing his leg, and says, I will give you a big wet kiss if you stop by the liquor schtore. He agrees. The elderly man starts to get turned on by the young Indian woman, and is swerving all over the road.
The Indian woman says to the elderly man,. oh you are passionate! The old man said, so are you! The woman says... NO, the liquor store... you're pashh in it!
I'm so bad at telling jokes... lol!
I tried sleeping. Didn't work...
... this can't be good.
sugar all around the house, sprayed on the roof, etc + mist = bugs and other critters so bad my neighbor down the street had to call the pest control man for 3 days in a row.
I'm quite sure Leatherface supplies all of the "bugs" that he can handle! Ewwwwww, did I just say that outloud?Quote:
Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny
I am getting ready to pass out. Think it is time to get an hour sleep before Little cheeks wakes up...
Goodnight everybody.
Joe
That's grody starbs.
Night jesushelper!. lil cheeks? Is there a big cheeks in the house?
G'nite Joe! Thanks for making me laugh, I needed that! Sweet dreams! :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesushelper76
I just put a sign on my back fence that says, "SMILE, YOU'RE ON CANDID CAMERA" I don't know if that will help, but it can't hurt!
Oh my.
I used to have kids that used to play those door games on our house... they ring the doorbell and they ran.
So... my parents wanted to disable the bell.
... I just took the plastic thing off and made the spring really sharp. :)
I.. am sleepy.
... why can't I sleep?!
Grahhhhh!
Oh yeah, I was up $350 today!. then lost it all... so I broke even again. Sad.
What're you doing up starbs?
I'm keeping watch on my backyard I guess! Sad isn't it! I can't sleep again of course. I hate going to sleep thinking someone is lurking around in my backyard. They tore down my lights lastnite, so I can't even see to the back of my fence!
How is your sports bar doing... have you opened yet?
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