Ask Me Help Desk - Alty's chit chat thread part 3

Quote:

Originally Posted by hheath541

I'm glad I'm not the only one who did sixlet lines. i was usually riding a bike, though.

i'd collect all the change i found throughout the week, and go to the candy store on the weekend. a packet of sixlets was either $.05 or $.10 and sour patch kids were $.01 each. I'd get as many of each as i could. then I'd eat the candy out of the little paper bag while i rode home.

you are so sexy right now.

=)

Drunk KP is funny. :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by friend4u178

Husband says to his wife, do you fancy playing a rape game?

Wife says, no !!!!

Husband replies, that’s the spirit!

Are you on AMHD and a joke site M? :D

I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are.

Say that 10 times fast. :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

I did M, and that's the first time ever that Indy lashed out. He was not happy about it.

It may have been the placement of the towel though. I'm thinking I just need a better design. Something that will distribute the weight better, and not slip. Something with a handle on top so I can get a good grip.

Maybe a little vest type deal that goes under his chest and belly, with holes for his front legs and a handle on top.

Either that or install one of those chair lifts. ;)

OK, I got a visual of a dog in a suitcase ^_^

here's a couple ideas I found. Shouldn't be too hard to make one, yourself.

Dog Belly Harness For Mid-Region Support

Lift-n-Aid Mobility Dog Harness - Ramps & Steps - Dog - PetSmart

http://www.greatdanes.net/sling/Semi-Ambulatory1.gif or http://www.greatdanes.net/sling/S-A4.gif

Bottoms Up Dog Rear Support Leash

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

Are you on AMHD and a joke site M? :D

Sorry... I'll stop now :cool:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

KP, I do have a serger, but it's broken. Seeing as you spelled it wrong, I think your man card is safe. ;)

Note to self... misspelling words on purpose is a lot like washing reds with whites... do it once and you are forever forgiven/banished from that task..

Don't think I no an you from an e?

.)

That's a smile from ol one eyed jack for ja.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

Drunk KP is funny. :)

Ja... but I drunk kp like being on his knees and... aw crap... wrong thread I think.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kp2171

yeah, but do you have a surger?

...

crap...

...

now my Man Card is on a 30 day suspension... last time that happened was when i proved i knew what a "tea cozy" was...

frick n frack...

I'm not even sure what a tea cozy is, and I've taken sewing classes.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kp2171

note to self... mispelling words on purpose is a lot like washing reds with whites... do it one and you are forever forgiven/banished from that task..

dont think i no an u from an e?

.)

thats a smile from ol one eyed jack for ja.

You men! I knew it! You all act like you don't know what you're doing, just so you won't have to do it! :rolleyes:

Jack is smiling at me? :cool:

Wait... you called it Jack? Why? :confused:

Quote:

Originally Posted by friend4u178

Sorry ................I'll stop now :cool:

Don't you dare. I like M joke night. :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by kp2171

ja... but i drunk kp like being on his knees and... aw crap... wrong thread i think.

k.

"i drunk kp"

...

Hmmm...

...

Guess its going to be an "off day" at work tomorrow...

.. er... today..

Wtfever...

Quote:

Originally Posted by hheath541

I'm not even sure what a tea cozy is, and I've taken sewing classes.

They're hideous little things that you put on tea pots. I don't know why. I think most people make them with whatever left over fabric they have.

My mom made a whole bunch as Xmas gifts one year. I think ever single one of them ended up going to goodwill or in a garage sale.

Tea cosies are a lot like your appendix. Not really necessary.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kp2171

you are so sexy right now.

=)

is that a good thing? Are you perving after my 10 year old past-self? ^_~

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are.

Say that 10 times fast. :)

I don't think I can say it ONCE fast.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kp2171

k.

"i drunk kp"

...

hmmm...

...

guess its going to be an "off day" at work tomorrow...

..er... today..

wtfever...

Take plenty of aspirin and call me in the morning.

Ooh, better idea, forget the aspirin, just come over and I'll make you breakfast in the morning, you know, after doing stuff.

I'll make the big bad headache go away. I promise. :)

For M.

A woman posts an ad in the news paper that looks like this...

'Looking for man with these qualifications; won't beat me up; or run away from me and is great in bed.'

She got lots of phone calls replying to her ad but met someone perfect at her door one day. The man she met said, "Hi, I'm Bob. I have no arms so I won't beat you up and no legs so I won't run away."

So the lady says, "What makes you think you are great in bed?"

Bob replies, "I rang the door bell didn't I?"

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

You men! I knew it! You all act like you don't know what you're doing, just so you won't have to do it! :rolleyes:

Jack is smiling at me? :cool:

Wait.... you called it Jack? Why? :confused:

I SO have a response to that. I just have a feeling it would get me in LOTS of trouble.

Alty, are you familiar with the phrase, 'jack off?' if you are, then I'm sure you can take it from there.

Quote:

Originally Posted by hheath541

I'm not even sure what a tea cozy is, and I've taken sewing classes.

Sigh...

It's a thing that is comprosed of fabric that is sewn to take on the shape of a tea kettle... so... you would heat up some tea in your kettle and JUST LIKE A WOMAN you'd suddenly decide maybe you wanted it now or maybe you wanted it later but you couldn't decide...

Well then... slide that tea kettle into that tea cozy... kind of like a tailored n fitted comforter for the cozy... and your hot wa wa would stay hoterish for longerish.

...

...

Nascar. Si swimsuit models. Playoffs. Diamond blade wet saw...

...

That about evens it out...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

They're hideous little things that you put on tea pots. I don't know why. I think most people make them with whatever left over fabric they have.

My mom made a whole bunch as Xmas gifts one year. I think ever single one of them ended up going to goodwill or in a garage sale.

Tea cosies are a lot like your appendix. Not really necessary.

So, they're like tissue box covers. Something old and/or bored women make to give away as gifts to people they don't know well enough to get REAL gifts for.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

For M.

A woman posts an ad in the news paper that looks like this...

'Looking for man with these qualifications; won't beat me up; or run away from me and is great in bed.'

She got lots of phone calls replying to her ad but met someone perfect at her door one day. The man she met said, "Hi, I'm Bob. I have no arms so I won't beat you up and no legs so I won't run away."

So the lady says, "What makes you think you are great in bed?"

Bob replies, "I rang the door bell didn't I?"

Ha Ha Ha... :p

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

Take plenty of aspirin and call me in the morning.

Ooh, better idea, forget the aspirin, just come over and I'll make you breakfast in the morning, you know, after doing stuff.

I'll make the big bad headache go away. I promise. :)

Lots and lots of water asap is good... followed by a lot of "ill never do that again"s... followed by another long day...

Reset. Rewind. Do over.

Sometimes.

I behave mostly... until I don't...

Quote:

Originally Posted by kp2171

sigh...

its a thing that is comprosed of fabric that is sewn to take on the shape of a tea kettle... so... you would heat up some tea in your kettle and JUST LIKE A WOMAN youd suddenly decide maybe you wanted it now or maybe you wanted it later but you couldnt decide...

well then... slide that tea kettle into that tea cozy... kind of like a tailored n fitted comforter for the cozy... and your hot wa wa would stay hoterish for longerish.

...

...

nascar. si swimsuit models. playoffs. diamond blade wet saw...

...

that about evens it out...

When I want tea, I nuke a cup of water for 2 minutes, then throw a tea bag and some sugar in the cup.

You can keep nascar and the playoffs. Can I share the models and the saw?

Quote:

Originally Posted by hheath541

you can keep nascar and the playoffs. can i share the models and the saw?

Mmmmaybe...

Quote:

Originally Posted by hheath541

so, they're like tissue box covers. something old and/or bored women make to give away as gifts to people they don't know well enough to get REAL gifts for.

Exactly! Also, don't forget, they have to be made of the most hideous material you can find.

Speaking of tissue box covers. I saw one of those crochet dog kleenex box covers at a garage sale the other day, and a ceramic frog brillo pad holder.

Ah, memories.

Yeah... I say a busty brunette looking at crap at a yard sale sometime in the past...

Ah, mammories...

The worst "I'll never drink again" was at my after grad.

You know you're drunk if you end up having sex behind an old shed in a farmers field with a guy you've known for 10 years and never liked.

I think I slept for 3 days after that.

Don't even remind me about the vodka incident. My friends still remind about that and it was 21 years ago!

Quote:

Originally Posted by kp2171

yeah... i say a busty brunette looking at crap at a yard sale sometime in the past...

ah, mammories...

LOL! Silly boy. You're cute when you're drunk. :)

At least I make sure that the things I make are never tacky, ugly, or useless.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kp2171

mmmmaybe....

What if I use the saw while wearing a swimsuit? Then, will you share?

Quote:

Originally Posted by hheath541

at least i make sure that the things i make are never tacky, ugly, or useless.

Me too. Just look at my kids, they're not tacky, they're adorable, and they're... um... well... 2 out of 3 ain't bad. :o ;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by hheath541

what if i use the saw while wearing a swimsuit? then, will you share?

I may want in on this deal.

k.

I am spent.

Done.

... I know... calling "uncle" first is a shame.

k.

I'm that guy.

Out and over until next time...

Quote:

Originally Posted by hheath541

what if i use the saw while wearing a swimsuit? then, will you share?

Perhapsish.

Outie all..

Sweet dreams.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

The worst "I'll never drink again" was at my after grad.

You know you're drunk if you end up having sex behind an old shed in a farmers field with a guy you've known for 10 years and never liked.

I think I slept for 3 days after that.

Don't even remind me about the vodka incident. My friends still remind about that and it was 21 years ago!

My worst involved bicardi. I asked a friend's husband for a threesome then asked her to have me spayed when she took the cat in to get fixed.

That's the only time I've had bicardi, and I don't plan on ever drinking it again. 2-3 bottles and a couple shots have never gotten me so messed up before. It's usually only enough to get me slightly past tipsy.

I have to go too, but KP bowed out first. I want that on the record!

Night all. I'm taking my friend out driving tomorrow. She's going for her drivers license on Thursday and she's nervous, so I said I'd take her out and about, seeing as she needs a responsible adult with a license to go with her.

Ya, I know, but I was the only one that had time!

Anyway, I should be rested so that I can see the truck coming towards us in time to grab the steering wheel and save us all.

So night. :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

So night. :)

See you between the sheets.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kp2171

see ya between the sheets.

Race you there. :)

Night. I'm going to join you guys. Just let me get all the cats off my lap and pee, then I'll crawl into bed with you. We can all cuddle up.