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-   -   Looney Bin #4 (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=107643)

  • Jul 12, 2007, 03:41 PM
    wizzkid89
    Lol we should work on that then... I like the new avatar though hahaha
  • Jul 12, 2007, 03:42 PM
    J_9
    Thanks it came with my new title. It's easy to get frustrated.

    I think here in the bin we have advanced from Kool Aid to something a little stronger, LOL
  • Jul 12, 2007, 03:47 PM
    wizzkid89
    I don't blame you... sometimes it seems like the only way you can get through these hot days...
  • Jul 12, 2007, 05:18 PM
    J_9
    *BLONDE LOGIC*
    Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking,
    And one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther
    away... Florida or the moon?"
    The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see
    Florida ?????"


    *CAR TROUBLE*

    A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
    Mechanic it died.
    After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
    She says, "What's the story?"
    He replies, "Just crap in the carburettor"
    She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"


    *SPEEDING TICKET*

    A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very
    Nicely if he could see her license.
    She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act
    together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today
    you expect me to show it to you!"
    *RIVER WALK*
    There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and
    Sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts,
    "How can I get to the other side?"
    The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and
    Shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."


    *AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE*

    A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said
    That her body hurt wherever she touched it.
    "Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
    The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and
    Screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She
    Pushed her knee and screamed;
    Likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she
    Touched made her scream.
    The do ctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
    "Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
    "I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."


    *KNITTING*

    A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the
    freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the
    blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
    Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and
    siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his
    bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
    "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
    *BLONDE ON THE SUN*
    A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The
    Russian said, "We were the first in space!"
    The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
    The Blonde said , "So what? We're going to be the first on the
    Sun!"
    The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook
    their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn
    Up!" said the Russian.
    To which the Blonde replied, "We're n ot stupid, you know. We're
    Going at night!"


    *IN A VACUUM*

    A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn.
    She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her
    question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your
    Name, can you hear it?"
    She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"


    *FINALLY, T HE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!*

    A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new
    dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded
    by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her
    friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
    "HELLLOOOOOOO.. " answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"
  • Jul 12, 2007, 06:00 PM
    CaptainRich
    How do you tell the new secretary is really a blonde: White-out on the monitor
  • Jul 12, 2007, 06:02 PM
    J_9
    Oh, Rich, that is so old. I quit using my white out on my monitor years ago, it gave me away.
  • Jul 12, 2007, 06:16 PM
    CaptainRich
    Sorry. Here:

    Walking the Dogs

    A blonde was walking her dogs when a man walking in the opposite direction says "oh my, you have such beautiful dogs.. what are their names?"

    The blonde replies "Well, the taller one is Timex and the shorter one is Rolex."

    The man responds "Huh.. that's interesting.. why did you name them such names?"

    The blonde sighs and shakes her head "Everyone keeps asking me the same thing... duhh, what else can you name your watch dogs??"
  • Jul 12, 2007, 06:19 PM
    CaptainRich
    Duh... who's the blonde now. I didn't see that last one in your line...
  • Jul 12, 2007, 06:20 PM
    CaptainRich
    Blonde Cops
    A blonde cop stops a blonde motorist and asks for her driving license.

    The driver scuffles around in her purse and can't find it. She says to the cop, "I must have left it at home, officer."

    The cop says, "Well, do you have any kind of identification?" She shuffles around in her purse again, and finds a pocket mirror.

    She looks at it and says to the cop, "All I have is this picture of myself." The cop says, "Let me see it, then." So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, "Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over. You can go now."
  • Jul 12, 2007, 09:11 PM
    startover22
    Thank goodness I am Indian. Dark hair green eyes. I have nothing to worry about right?
    Poor blonds. HEHEHHEHE
  • Jul 12, 2007, 09:48 PM
    Synnen
    I was a blonde for years.

    I'm so glad I switched to being a redhead.
  • Jul 12, 2007, 09:54 PM
    startover22
    I always did picture you as a red head anyway. How is your evening/night?
  • Jul 12, 2007, 09:58 PM
    Synnen
    Meh.

    I got my eyes checked, and he dilated them, so I've been hiding half under blankets with the lights dimmed, unable to focus on anything for most of the evening.

    Heading to bed now.

    Have a good night!
  • Jul 12, 2007, 09:58 PM
    startover22
    You too. Good night.
  • Jul 13, 2007, 04:55 AM
    Nosnosna
    Morning you'uns!
  • Jul 13, 2007, 04:56 AM
    J_9
    Morning Nos. Sorry I ran off last night, the power went out with a storm.
  • Jul 13, 2007, 05:31 AM
    alkalineangel
    I was born blonde with green eyes then turned Auburn, and now I fight to stay chestnut with red highlights... lol.

    Good morning all. Im in a terrific mood this morning as my entire office is practically gone, I got a steal on a brand new dual electric breastpump last night at Marshalls (30 bucks compared to 200), and I get to see Harry Potter in T-minus 11 hours and counting... WOo HOO!
  • Jul 13, 2007, 05:34 AM
    Nosnosna
    And here I was going to apologize for running off to work without saying anything. Guess we can call it even :)
  • Jul 13, 2007, 05:35 AM
    J_9
    YAY Al!!

    Great to see you in such a good mood. I am thinking of taking little J to see Harry today. He can't decide between that or the zoo.
  • Jul 13, 2007, 05:41 AM
    Capuchin
    If you go to the zoo, make sure to tell him how awesome the Capuchins are.

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