Ask Me Help Desk - Our poor Starby

Quote:

Originally Posted by 88sunflower

Well it rips my heart out. Over and over and over I told my in-laws lets get done what we need to do to see if any of us can help her. If I could have gave that woman half my liver to live I would have in an instant. I loved her more then my own mother. No one else in the family seems interested in pursuing that option. Honest to god I fear pain and needles and whatever else it would involve. But if I had to do it for Starby I would. I see the support and love we would both get from you all and then we could have her back. I hear her and I share the love of flowers and gardening.

I can answer the why.

At this point Starby wouldn't survive the surgery. Also, because her liver was damaged due to alcoholism she's on the bottom of the list for a transplant. She'd have to remain alcohol free for at least 6 months in order to qualify.

Is it harsh? Maybe. But think of it this way. If your loved one was dying and you decided to donate his/her organs, would you want those organs going to someone that is dying because of a freak of nature, or someone who will probably destroy the organ by continuing with their addiction?

Yes, it's not an ideal world, but there are so many people in need of organs, those that will take care of the organs they get, have a good chance of survival with those new organs, they're first on the list.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

I can answer the why.

At this point Starby wouldn't survive the surgery. Also, because her liver was damaged due to alcoholism she's on the bottom of the list for a transplant. She'd have to remain alcohol free for at least 6 months in order to qualify.

Is it harsh? Maybe. But think of it this way. If your loved one was dying and you decided to donate his/her organs, would you want those organs going to someone that is dying because of a freak of nature, or someone who will probably destroy the organ by continuing with their addiction?

Yes, it's not an ideal world, but there are so many people in need of organs, those that will take care of the organs they get, have a good chance of survival with those new organs, they're first on the list.

You're right of course but very sad...

Night Sunny.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stringer

You're right of course but very sad...

Night Sunny.

It is sad, especially when it's someone you love, but thems the rules and I can't fault them for it.

If one of my loved ones died and I donated their organs, I'd want them to go to the person that would make the most out of their second chance. Sadly, people with addictions that haven't been treated, haven't been rectified, they're only getting a second chance to continue doing what they're already doing.

I feel bad for saying it, maybe I'm horrible to think this way, but I have to agree with the doctors and hospitals on this one.

Now, if I had a choice, if Starby could survive the surgery at this time, I would give her part of my liver in a heart beat, but that's not an option.

I went through the same thing with my dad when he was dying. His liver was riddled with cancer. I begged the doctors to take half of my liver and give it to my dad, they refused simply because it would be a waste. Not only would my father not survive the surgery, but on the off chance that he did, the new liver would be riddled with cancer within days unless we got it under control.

Life really does suck sometimes. :(

You're not horrible, You're right.

It hurts, but it's true.

Life really does.

And I BEGGED the Doctors to test me for a possible kidney transplant for my husband through the last years of his life. They simply refused because he was not a good candidate, there were too many problems.

I see now that he never would have survived the surgery, let alone recovery. But I sure as heck didn't see it then.

If I have any problem with the donor system - and this very well may vary from place to place - it is the way candidates are rated. My husband was third on the list because he had good insurance, the ability to afford rejection drugs - and he had a Doctorate. I say people who didn't have those benefits and were much farther down on the list.

Unfair - but I wanted my husband to live.

Back to Jo - prayers. All anyone can do at this point is pray.

And Alty - I know you've been there and back again and you are more than courageous to be so supportive, so loving, so involved with Jo.

Love you, girlfriend!

Quote:

And Alty - I know you've been there and back again and you are more than courageous to be so supportive, so loving, so involved with Jo.

Love you, girlfriend!

Ditto my dear, that doesn't say it all, but it's close.

Love you so much. :)

Judy... I have to admit something here (don't hit me... K?) I had to get out my magnifying glasss to get a better look at your avy...

Pretty nice. :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stringer

Judy....I have to admit something here (don't hit me...K?) I had to get out my magnifying glasss to get a better look at your avy.....

Pretty nice. :)

The back of her head is all that and a bag of chips. I agree Stringer. :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

The back of her head is all that and a bag of chips. I agree Stringer. :)

It doesn't take much Alty... She has fabulous shoulders... :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stringer

It doesn't take much Alty...She has fabulous shoulders.....:)

And the hair. I love the hair.

I've seen her beautiful face, she's a stunner. :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

And the hair. I love the hair.

I've seen her beautiful face, she's a stunner. :)

Oh my... my heart is running wild now and my imagination isn't doing a bad job either... ;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stringer

Judy....I have to admit something here (don't hit me...K?) I had to get out my magnifying glasss to get a better look at your avy.....

Pretty nice. :)

Hmm - thank you. Photo is an interesting story - I asked my friend to take a photo of me on the beach. She had been raving about that bridge in the background all day. So guess what she took a photo of - I just happened to be wandering by.

But thank you. After I have the botox I'll post a full head shot <smirk>.

I guess you never saw my old avy - I look like my head is on sideways.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Hmm - thank you. Photo is an interesting story - I asked my friend to take a photo of me on the beach. She had been raving about that bridge in the background all day. So guess what she took a photo of - I just happened to be wandering by.

But thank you. After I have the botox I'll post a full head shot <smirk>.

I guess you never saw my old avy - I look like my head is on sideways.

Never!! You are one of my idols Judy... I am infatuated... keep the pics coming my dear. Brightens up my day.

Alty... still love you too. :p

Quote:

Alty... still love you too.

Never doubted it. :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

I can answer the why.

At this point Starby wouldn't survive the surgery. Also, because her liver was damaged due to alcoholism she's on the bottom of the list for a transplant. She'd have to remain alcohol free for at least 6 months in order to qualify.

Is it harsh? Maybe. But think of it this way. If your loved one was dying and you decided to donate his/her organs, would you want those organs going to someone that is dying because of a freak of nature, or someone who will probably destroy the organ by continuing with their addiction?

Yes, it's not an ideal world, but there are so many people in need of organs, those that will take care of the organs they get, have a good chance of survival with those new organs, they're first on the list.

I do agree with that completely. But it was just a thought that had come to mind more then once. The sad thing is my mother in law needed a liver, they flew her to Manhattan but to them she wasn't bad enough yet to get on the list. She wasn't a drinker. She was hallucinating about eating breakfast with Charlie Pride. But as terrible as it was for her she wasn't bad enough and she passed away 2 days later. Makes you wonder how bad can it get before you can find one. Since then I have always said when I pass take whatever you can from me for another living being. Let life go on with someone else after my death. How foolish not to. I won't be using it again.

I'd love to rate you, but can't for discussion threads.

What I can say is How inspiring. Especially the comment about not using it again

Quote:

Originally Posted by KeepItSimpleStupid

I'd love to rate you, but can't for discussion threads.

What I can say is How inspiring. expecially the comment about not using it again

Thank you

Wow. As a comer-and-goer around here over the past few years, this is the first I heard of all this. I probably shouldn't have read it at work... Starby was always one of the more welcoming people around here, helping any way she could, or even just hanging around to chat. I just wish I'd come back a few weeks earlier. Best of luck Starby. We really hope to see you again!

It's not over until it's over, Retsy. We keep praying/hoping/wishing.

I believe that's it's stronger than that... there's so much people now... I feel that Starby will be healed... I just feel that, I know. :) But still that doesn't mean that we have to stop praying, wishing or hoping like you said.