Ask Me Help Desk - Our poor Starby

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Originally Posted by artlady

Thank-you! I appreciate it and BTW I love the bunnies.Especially the one with crabs :eek:

:eek: :eek:

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Originally Posted by friend4u178

:eek: :eek:

LMAO! Bad experience M? ;)

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

LMAO! Bad experience M? ;)

No fortunately :cool:

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Originally Posted by friend4u178

No fortunately :cool:

Don't you mean, not yet? :D

Nope , not going to happen ;)

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Originally Posted by friend4u178

Nope , not gonna happen ;)

All right, I'll stop bugging you. Just make sure to wear protection. Do I have to give you the mom speech? I've been practicing. Want to hear it? :D

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

Alright, I'll stop bugging you. Just make sure to wear protection. Do I have to give you the mom speech? I've been practicing. Wanna hear it? :D

I can give myself the Mom speech , but thanks for the offer :cool:

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Originally Posted by friend4u178

I can give myself the Mom speech , but thanks for the offer :cool:

But I need to practice! You're no fun. :(

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

But I need to practice! You're no fun. :(

LOL... ok happy to listen :rolleyes:

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

But I need to practice! You're no fun. :(

are you thinking about giving it to your 6 year old already alty? O_O

I Want to HEAR IT TOO =P I Want to LEARN XD

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Originally Posted by friend4u178

LOL..............ok happy to listen :rolleyes:

Aw, you're so sweet.

Well, seeing as my son is 10 going on 15 and my daughter is 6 going on 10, I thought I'd keep it PG.

Jared knows the word sex, thinks it consists of kissing and something forbidden that he isn't privvy to. I've tried having "the talk" but until recently he's just plugged his ears and said "la, la, la, la I can't hear you!"

Well, all of a sudden he has questions. I have to keep in mind that anything I tell him, he'll tell Sydney. Not that I don't think she can handle it, but I'm hoping to keep it at a 6 year old level.

So here's what I've come up with.

A man has a penis, a woman has a vagina. When they love each other very much and have a commitment to each other then they have sex. Sex involves a man putting his penis into a woman's vagina. The man has seeds in his penis and a woman has eggs in her body. When a man ejaculates the seeds are released and if they meet the egg and penetrate it a baby is started.

Condoms go over a mans penis to stop the seeds from going into the vagina. Sometimes things go wrong and the seeds get through anyway, but it's still better then nothing.

Sex is more then just physical, you should really care about the person and they should care about you. Now that you're getting older I know that you're starting to think about girls, and those feelings are normal, but you're really young and you shouldn't rush into anything until you're much, much, much, much older, like 30! ;)

So. Did I miss anything? Too much info? Not enough info? Correct choice of the words I'm using? Should I say sperm instead of seeds? How much info is too much? How much info is too little.

It's hard having kids. :(

I think you did great although Sydney is probably the one I'd worry about more ;)

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

but you're really young and you shouldn't rush into anything until you're much, much, much, much older, like 30!

LMAO... This is NOT going to happen , you know that :rolleyes:

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Originally Posted by friend4u178

I think you did great although Sydney is probably the one I'd worry about more ;)

LMAO....................This is NOT gonna happen , you know that :rolleyes:

I can dream, can't I?

Sydney is the one that worries me. I'm not a guy, never had to live in a guys body, never had to go through puberty as a guy. As a girl, I know how teen girls think and what they do. I swear I'm getting that kid a chastity belt as soon as the first boy calls my house!

She's a pretty kid, she's going to be a really pretty young lady. I'm going to have to buy a gun! :(

TMI TMI AHHHHHHH * runs away *

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Originally Posted by none12345

TMI TMI AHHHHHHH * runs away *

That was the tame version. Are you kidding? :eek:

I could go all out, talk about anal sex and how to go about it properly. I could tell them about oral and how to please their partner. Really, I'm just covering the basics here! :rolleyes:

Good job Alty! Now my brain is tainted!! IM NOT SUPPOSE TO KNOW THIS TILL 10 MORE YEARS WHEN IM 30!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! =P

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

I could go all out, talk about anal sex and how to go about it properly. I could tell them about oral and how to please their partner. Really, I'm just covering the basics here! :rolleyes:

lol please do tell =P now I'm curious XD hehe

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lol please do tell =P now I'm curious XD hehe

I'll need to see some ID first.

OMG, I just realized that I hiijacked my own thread! Is that even possible?

I have a serious problem. :(

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

I'll need to see some ID first.

lol that's what they told me when I went to the beer store T___T =P

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

OMG, I just realized that I hiijacked my own thread! Is that even possible?

I have a serious problem. :(

LOL, I thought this was the other thread we hijacked, just realized it was starby's. =P SORRY STARBY XD

You got it from KP duh!!

I don't like this sentence: "The man has seeds in his penis and a woman has eggs in her body."

And I'm not sure the word ejaculates is in the vocabulary.

I'll have to think about alternatives.

A man doesn't have seeds in his penis. At least I don't.
We are always taught to use the proper term, so "sperm" seems to be the right term to use. One key is that sperm are mobile and eggs are fixed and that there is typically 1 egg released per month and millions of sperm released at a time from the male. Once one of the sperm penetrates an egg, no others can. This process is called fertilization.

Devils advocate:

Mommy how can I put a soft penis into a girls vagina when I have such a hard time getting my urine into the toilet.

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Originally Posted by KeepItSimpleStupid

I don't like this sentence: "The man has seeds in his penis and a woman has eggs in her body."

and I'm not sure the word ejaculates is in the vocabulary.

I'll have to think about alternatives.

A man doesn't have seeds in his penis. At least I don't.
We are always taught to use the proper term, so "sperm" seems to be the right term to use. One key is that sperm are mobile and eggs are fixed and that there is typically 1 egg released per month and millions of sperm released at a time from the male. Once one of the sperm penetrates an egg, no others can. This process is called fertilization.

Devils advocate:

Mommy how can I put a soft penis into a girls vagina when I have such a hard time getting my urine into the toilet.?

Good points K.I.S.S. you're right, I should use proper words. Having said that, what should I say to explain ejaculation?

I'm going to rethink this.

As for the soft penis in a girls vagina. Um, he's ten, he's had an erection, he gets that part, just doesn't know where he's going to be sticking it. :eek:

Can I hire someone to do this for me? :confused:

Update:

Just talked to Starby. Her brother is taking Niki until she's out of the hospital, he's also got a laptop he's going to lend her, just has to figure out the internet thing.

She's really doped up, I had to repeat myself a lot and she's a bit out of it, but she sounds okay. She had the surgery today and her leg is in a cast. Her wrist has a neon orange cast on it, she finds it funny.

Obviously she now has a phone in her room. I'll be calling her again tomorrow. Will keep you all posted.

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

Update:

Just talked to Starby. Her brother is taking Niki until she's out of the hospital, he's also got a laptop he's going to lend her, just has to figure out the internet thing.

She's really doped up, I had to repeat myself alot and she's a bit out of it, but she sounds okay. She had the surgery today and her leg is in a cast. Her wrist has a neon orange cast on it, she finds it funny.

Obviously she now has a phone in her room. I'll be calling her again tomorrow. Will keep you all posted.

Can you ask starby to get piccys :D

That's good news Alty , thanks for the update and send my Lub to starby :)

Love has been sent, pictures have been requested. :)

LOL, I'm gone for some time and you guys get naughty! :joking:

Ok, I didn't expect that Starby's thread will contain some "tmi" like noney said! By the way, how could you not know that at your age? I mean, I did it in my bio class last year? Well, perhaps the education system is different?

Glad to hear that Starby is doing all right and will soon be on AMHD again. She perhaps need some more encouragement?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/member...e55-hugs05.jpg

On behalf of the entire Turtle family, including Myself (Turtlegirl16), Turbo Turtle, and Thomas Turtle, get well soon ♥

I was wondering where you were and I would not have known if I hadn't come across this thread. I'm so sorry about everything, but at least Nikki has a place to go. Can't wait to see some of your drug induced suggestions.
Get well very soon.
Dahlia

Back to doing two things at once.

Ok, so he has had an erection. That may also mean he has had a "wet dream". Thus, the milky clear fluid that is emitted during a "wet dream" contains sperm. The act of emitting that milky clear fluid is called "ejaculation". (Not quite right, but close (ejaculation vs. masturbation comes to mind).

Wet dreams are good. The males body has erections during the night to keep his penis healthy.

You don't have to have an erection to ejaculate, but it helps. You do need an erection for penetration, but that's a different topic.

How's that?

Then there is the slang terms vs. the medical terms. e.g vs ejaculate. Orgasm vs come. Who knows how to handle that.

I should dig out my mimeographed notes from 3rd grade when I had my 1st formal sex ed class.

K.I.S.S

Your scaring me LOL :rolleyes:

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Originally Posted by friend4u178

K.I.S.S

Your scaring me LOL :rolleyes:

Good, I'm not the only one. ;)

Is Starby behind on her sex ed?

Can't wait until you print this out Alty and she ends up all confused... :D

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Originally Posted by friend4u178

K.I.S.S

Your scaring me LOL :rolleyes:

Me three :(

Boo!!

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Originally Posted by KeepItSimpleStupid

Boo!!

Ahhhhhhhhhh! :eek:

Alty, love you and all but trying to explain sex to kids.. They don't really need that much info right now as they are just children. Wait until they come home from school and tell you about the sex ed class and explain it to you, OK? Then when they explain it all to you you will be certain that they understand it fully. Just confusing them now that the stork does not bring babies is going to give them way too much to think about... way too much to think about.

Tell Starby I said hello and please come back soon. AMHD is not the same without her here.

Lalala

Oh my gosh, I'm days behind! I just found this thread, thanks to a heads up from "Alty." I had no idea. Hope Starby is doing well and on the road to recovery. Right now I'm too shocked to do anything but send good wishes.

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Originally Posted by twinkiedooter

Alty, love you and all but trying to explain sex to kids......? They don't really need that much info right now as they are just children. Wait until they come home from school and tell you about the sex ed class and explain it to you, ok? Then when they explain it all to you you will be certain that they understand it fully. Just confusing them now that the stork does not bring babies is going to give them way too much to think about.... way too much to think about.

Tell Starby I said hello and please come back soon. AMHD is not the same without her here.

I have to agree. There is too much info there for these little kids to wrap their tiny heads around. They don't need ALL of the specifics at such a young age.