Ask Me Help Desk - Dangerous .

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitkat22

Okay.:eek::eek:..Thanks! The advice we give is accurate as we perceive it.Then you have some of the newer members who c ome along and want to tell someone something totally different.

I think the bad information is given because some people have never experienced a break up or a divorce. or spousal abuse etc. They speak from inexperience on things they know nothing about and derail the folks who are trying to give accurate information!:)

Agreed!

It's like asking a man how labor is like...

Caught you both, well this thread is a lot better then the times I brought out my lightening sticks getting ready to strike everyone in my way. Lol

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jesushelper1976

Caught ya both, well this thread is a lot better when mudweiser is here

Aww thanks :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeedKarma

He's not the one you are thinking of. This is the guy: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/member...shelper76.html

I agree, the username of the OP is misleading for us who have been here a long time.

I apologize if it is confusing people. I did have my reasons for doing it.

Joe

Quote:

Originally Posted by mudweiser

Aww thanks :)

Oh yes, you have a way of brightening up the threads and making them all lively and everything.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jesushelper1976

Oh yes, you have a way of brightening up the threads and making them all lively and everything.

If a person comes here saying he is going to shoot himself because he is depressed. I am going to try to to give him advice and help to him try and see he needs medical help.

Then some moron comes on here and tells him what sort of gun to use.
That was a hypothetical scenerio.. :)

I definitely don't have all the answers, and I don't pretend to, all I can do is speak from experience.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aurora_Bell

I definitly don't have all the answers, and I don't pretend to, all I can do is speak from experience.

Bella you do give accurate advice. Have you told a woman who is getting beat up to stay with her husband? No you haven't! You are a good adviser!:D

Awws **blushing** well thanks! :)

I'd still like to know what thread yous all are talking about!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitkat22

I asked what SFTW meant and i thought the answers were a little mean. Those people forgave me (I hope) Now when someone ask something stupid ,I want to reach through my laptop, grab them and smack them and say STFW
Wow..too much coffee today:eek::D

Of course I forgive you! I actually thought it was quite funny.

I luuurrrve you! :D

Yes, Ken, the physical scars heal. It is the emotional scars that last a lifetime.
Verbal abuse can be so much worse. It makes us (as humans) feel worthless and insecure. We can heal from a black eye, but it is the shattered heart that is the hardest to heal.

Quote:

Originally Posted by J_9

Yes, Ken, the physical scars heal. It is the emotional scars that last a lifetime.
Verbal abuse can be so much worse. It makes us (as humans) feel worthless and insecure. We can heal from a black eye, but it is the shattered heart that is the hardest to heal.

Yes, verbal abuse to a person with a memory like a steal trap can be crippling. I have been there and I can tell you, I remember absolutely every word, every phrase, every rotten name I was ever called. To this day I still think, down deep inside, I am that rotten person. Hard to shake the stigma.

Tick

I know this is The Lounge, but really!

http://mvny.org/images/closed.gif

I just saw this thread and I'm going to reopen it. I have removed a lot of the posts that were the reason it was closed. But I think the issues raised by the original post need further discussion. I don't believe the question in that OP and some of the followups were answered completely.

First, to answer the original question you have three choices:
1) Give the post a reddie with an explanation. However, before you can do that, the advice you believe is dangerous needs to be backed up with facts that prove it's dangerous (more on that later).
2) Post a response that counteracts the dangerous advice, again explaining why you feel it was dangerous.
3) Use the RIP so the MODs can judge whether the advice was malicious or not and remove it, if so.

I'm going to expand on point 1) here. When the comments feature was first instituted here I wrote the guidelines on how it was to be used. I've been involved in too many sites like this that have some sort of rating feature where the rating system is almost always abused. What so often happens is someone didn't like a response so rated it negatively and that caused bad feelings and a war started. I did not and do not want that to happen here. Therefore, I set the rule that a negative comment (reddie) should ONLY be used where the advice was FACTUALLY incorrect.
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum-...nes-24951.html
In the thread that inspired this question, NONE of the reddies given were cases of factually incorrect advice. And I've taken action to deal with that. One might disagree with the advice given (and I did) but it was not factually incorrect. So the proper way to deal with that advice was to respond with a counter. In that thread, several people did respond with counters so the preponderance of opinion was expressed. The OP of that thread was given a consensus, even though there were a couple of dissenting opinions. But that thread dealt with an issue of OPINION, not fact!

I wanted to specifically address this comment:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

I think the only thing you can to is to continue to come back with good advice and give the reddies.
If enough of us do that, hopefully the OP will get the right message.

This is almost correct. I see nothing wrong with bringing a thread to the attention of others to show the OP a consensus. But handing out reddies because you disagree with what someone said IS very wrong and it only prolongs a fight.

I also wanted to address the issue of reddies. I think too much emphasis is being placed on greenies and reddies. Most members doen't have a clue what that line of green boxes mean. Reputation points don't get you anything but a green box. If someone gives you a reddie inappropriately do not give them one in turn, report it and the member will be told how to correctly use the feature. If they continue to abuse the feature they will be dealt with. But the ONLY purpose of a reddie is to correct advice that is FACTUALLY incorrect. End of story!
Now I have reopened this thread if anyone wants to discuss what I have posted or the original post. ANY and ALL references to the thread that inspired this thread will be removed! All discussion should be in general or abstract terms. I hope I have made myself clear!

Thanks Scott,I think this should be made clear as well, I have a few reddies from posters who 'FEEL' they were wronged,but that's life, we seem to expect new posters to understand ALL the suggested rules of this site,naturally they don't always understand,it's our responsibility to enlighten but not berate them, or ignore the red marks altogether.

Quote:

Originally Posted by KBC

we seem to expect new posters to understand ALL the suggested rules of this site,

That's a good point. We know most newbies do not read the rules. Nor do they take the time to browse around and see how people use this site before jumping in. So we should pay attention to post count before jumping on someone. Newbies deserve to be educated before being berated.

I have a question...

I received a reddie from a new-ish member for my opinion.
I sent them a PM just (gently) reminding them of the rules for giving reddies out for opinion and that they should be for factually incorrect information only.

Was I wrong to do so?

I have started copying the reddie and posting it in a new response that normally starts with "Please review the terms of service and usage guidelines for the agree/disagree feature."

Then I go on to explain my opinion.

Quote:

Originally Posted by shazamataz

I have a question...

I received a reddie from a new-ish member for my opinion.
I sent them a PM just (gently) reminding them of the rules for giving reddies out for opinion and that they should be for factually incorrect information only.

Was I wrong to do so?

The problem with doing it via PM is that newbies often aren't PM-able yet. So I will do like Catsmine. I have a macro program that automatically types in text so I use it:
First, may I call your attention to the guidelines for using the comments feature found here:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/feedba...ure-24951.html

Depending On the circumstances, I'll add more as needed.

I usually just copy the reddie and say "Welcome to AMHD. Please note that reddies (disagrees) are for factually incorrect posts only, not for opinion. This rule is in the Terms of Service you agreed to when signing up.

It has mixed responses. Some people come back and say sorry, others come back with the "I'll do what I want, I don't care about rules... " attitude. Then they go on to dish out reddies like candy on Halloween. That's when I RIP.

As for greenies and reddies, I understand why we have them, but personally I think the site would do better without them. They can cause animosity, or make people think that we're all just a group that sticks up for each other. I can see how an outsider might view it.

I don't give out a lot of greenies or reddies. I always forget. I have to wonder if there's a better way, if we shouldn't just get rid of the rating system altogether. It may cause less arguments.

Just a suggestion. I'll go back to my corner now. :o