Ask Me Help Desk - Our poor Starby

Judy it's understandable that all this brings out all the worst memories we have. It's the nature of the beast.

I wish Jo's parents would just let her go. The doctors have already told them that even if she were to survive she'd need care for the rest of her life. That's no life, especially not for someone as independent as Jo.

It's best that they just let her go peacefully but I can't understand the need to keep trying. I understand that all too well.

In the end there's nothing that they can do if it's her time to go.

I wish her a quick painless end to all of this.

Same here, I wish starby an easy passage when its her time to go, and my best wishes go out to her and her family.

I hope that came out all right, its difficult to say much on here, but I do mean well.

Quote:

Originally Posted by albear

same here, i wish starby an easy passage when its her time to go, and my best wishes go out to her and her family.

i hope that came out alright, its difficult to say much on here, but i do mean well.

It came out just fine Bear. :)

I think so too bear.

This is all so crazy though, just so crazy, it seems only 2 1/2 to 3 months ago she was on line, talking to us, laughing about the duck, feathers... I just don't know.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stringer

I think so too bear.

This is all so crazy though, just so crazy, it seems only 2 1/2 to 3 months ago she was on line, talking to us, laughing about the duck, feathers....I just don't know.

It was only that long ago Stringer. It's been so different without her here. I still expect her to pop in, tell one of her funny stories, join in the jokes and fun.

I can't believe this, yet I can. We've had some time to get used to the idea of her going but it's still such a shock.

I just love her so much, even though we never met. I can't believe we never will. :(

Awww... your spirit and hers Alty matched perfectly, it is obvious. Take it all for what it was and is to you;)
Judy love, I am so sorry for the losses in your life. Your experience helps us all here
Stringer, thank you
And Bear... you say the right things all the time... dont underestimate;)

Even those of us who only talked a couple of times loved her. Godspeed, Jo.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stringer

I think so too bear.

This is all so crazy though, just so crazy, it seems only 2 1/2 to 3 months ago she was on line, talking to us, laughing about the duck, feathers....I just don't know.

I still remember the message she posted about tripping over on her porch, I was online at the time and didn't think much of it, just told her to get to the hospital and asked is she was OK.

I wish I had have said more to her then.

Quote:

Originally Posted by shazamataz

I wish I had have said more to her then.

Don't dwell on that so much hon. She wouldn't want that. She understands I'm sure, and I'm sure she knows you would have said more to her had you known. *hugs*

How is starby doing? My sister broke the same bone from being hit by a truck it took a long recovery time. I wish her the best. And will pray for her

Quote:

Originally Posted by binx44

how is starby doing? my sister broke the same bone from being hit by a truck it took a long recovery time. i wish her the best. and will pray for her

She's not well Binx.

The break in her leg is the least of her worries.

Her liver is not functioning, one kidney has shut down, there's an infection causing massive amounts of liquid to form in her abdomen, and many other things.

I doubt she'll be with us much longer and for her sake I hope it's quick and painless because she's been in pain for months now.

Godspeed Jo, I think that says it best. We all love you, never forget it.

Yes, we all do...

Wow.. I didn't know so much was going on in her life. She was and still is a wonderful person. I do hope when her time comes that she goes peacefully because no one deserves to be in pain like that. I still remember how nice she was when I first came on the forum. She will be greatly missed. :(

We all love you, never forget it and I don't think any of us will ever forget her or the things she's done for people.

I would write more but hearing about the pain she's in and what's she's dealing with has made me cry...
May the sun always warm the path her feet follow.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

She's not well Binx.

The break in her leg is the least of her worries.

Her liver is not functioning, one kidney has shut down, there's an infection causing massive amounts of liquid to form in her abdomen, and many other things.

I doubt she'll be with us much longer and for her sake I hope it's quick and painless because she's been in pain for months now.

Godspeed Jo, I think that says it best. We all love you, never forget it.

Yes I agree that I hope she simply goes to sleep. I don't want her suffering anymore than she already has.

I have been reading through some of her posts and greenies (mostly I'm bored, but I wanted to get to know the person behind 'starby') and she seems like such a wonderfully caring and loving person, and I am so saddened that I may not get the chance to say hello to her.

*hugs for starby*

Danke for the update darlin.

I haven't posted much, cause I know where she's at, there just isn't a lot of "turning back"... even when there are upswings.

Much love to all.

Every day is a gift.

Its so hard to keep that perspective... even my worst day is another day spent with people I love.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kp2171

danke for the update darlin.

i havent posted much, cause i know where shes at, there just isnt a lot of "turning back"... even when there are upswings.

much love to all.

every day is a gift.

its so hard to keep that perspective... even my worst day is another day spent with people i love.

So true KP. From what I've been told she's only awake for an hour or two a day and those wakeful period are filled with confusion and pain.

She's drifting away, but boy is she a toughy. She's already lived longer then the doctors thought she would. I'm glad she had that extra time, her family had a great birthday party for her, even brought Niki (Jo's dog) along. She was full of smiles, eating cake, loving every minute of it.

I'm glad she had that. I'm also glad that she seems to have made peace with her family.

I wish things were different, but wishes don't usually come true. She's a big part of my life and no matter what happens she always will be.

Darnit, more freakin tears. I would think they'd be dried up by now. :(

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

Darnit, more freakin tears. I would think they'd be dried up by now. :(

The older you get, hon, the more fall. Each one of mine are a memory of an absent friend.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Catsmine

The older you get, hon, the more fall. Each one of mine are a memory of an absent friend.

I've shed too many in my lifetime, I don't shed them easily. It takes a lot to make me cry.

My mom used to say that you have little teacups behind your eyes. They fill up and then you have to cry to empty them.

Loved my mom. :)

As the teacups get bigger, they empty easier. I'm as tough as they come, but I can cry at John Wayne movies nowadays.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Catsmine

As the teacups get bigger, they empty easier. I'm as tough as they come, but I can cry at John Wayne movies nowdays.

Movies don't usually make me cry, life is enough.

Does it ever get easier?

If it does is that a bad thing?

I wish I had the answers, sadly I only have questions. :(

Quote:

Originally Posted by Catsmine

The older you get, hon, the more fall. Each one of mine are a memory of an absent friend.

I hear you on that. Some of my best friends are dead people.

I had a nightmare that I logged on (dreams about AMHD... wow) and you said she was gone :( I don't even know her and I woke up crying... I hope she is sleeping and not in pain.

Just read the news... :(

My best wishes to Jo and her family. I hope that a miracle occurs for Jo, either she recovers, or she goes painlessly.

We love you so much Jo... :(

Quote:

Originally Posted by Unknown008

Just read the news.... :(

My best wishes to Jo and her family. I hope that a miracle occurs for Jo, either she recovers, or she goes painlessly.

We love you so much Jo...... :(

I think we all wish that Unky. :)

Hugs to you.

I've kind of delayed answering this thread since I read the last updates two days ago.

My best wishes for Jo and her family and if it really is nearing the end, I hope she does as painlessly as possible.

<3

I really haven't been able to be on nearly as much in recent times but my thoughts have been with her every single day. Every day I can't check I worry is the day that she will leave us, but every single time she proves the doctors wrong and lives another day.

Things look grim but if anyone is stubborn enough to live it has to be Jo, if for nothing else just to prove the doctors wrong.

I don't want her to suffer but she hasn't given up yet and neither have I. As long as she has the will to live I'll carry the hope that she can.

Here's an update that Rebbie sent me last night. It's from Jo's friend Sally.

Well, I went to see Jo after I left work. More so I could see her mom too & find out what was going on medically. She is still sleeping all the time. She's been like this for over a week now. The Dr. brought in Pallative Care & the nurses are telling them that she's really bad & for them to get things in order. The Chaplin was also brought in. The Dr. said they could put feeding tubes & such in, but it would just prolong things for about 4 mths. Her parents, especially her dad, are having a real hard time with this news & they want to hang on, but they know theres not much hope. So for now I guess its just wait & see as Jo has been talking alot about death & dying.
I will let you know more as things happen. I only go up a few times a week now as I find it hard sitting there while she sleeps

I hope her parents realize that it's time to give her some peace.

Thanks Alty, for posting, and Rebbie for sending this to Alty, and Sally, for sending it to Rebbie! :)

I hope they make the right choice.

This is too sad I can't handle stuff like this

Quote:

Originally Posted by N0help4u

This is too sad I can't handle stuff like this

It is sad NH, I'm having a hard time with it too. Sadly it doesn't change the fact that it's happening.

Thank goodness we all have each other.

We're Starby's family too, in a very real sense. :)

Wow I have been gone too long.

Alty I hope with all my heart your friend Jo will be OK, but if she is not, then I hope with all my heart that you will be OK.

That was really sweet Champy. (Good to see you, by the way). Starby isn't much better and it's all a waiting game. We just want her to not suffer.

It truly pains me to say this but I think it's time to change my prayers/wishes/hopes for Jo from recovery to release.

I just sat here for 5 minutes trying to get myself to push the button to post. This is hard.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Catsmine

It truly pains me to say this but I think it's time to change my prayers/wishes/hopes for Jo from recovery to release.

I just sat here for 5 minutes trying to get myself to push the button to post. This is hard.

I think your right:(

Quote:

Originally Posted by nikosmom

That was really sweet Champy. (Good to see you, by the way). Starby isn't much better and it's all a waiting game. We just want her to not suffer.

I was praying for a miracle I suppose.Its funny how you can become friends with someone on line and you love them just like a pal that you have known for years.
Thanks for the update Momsy,sad as it is.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Catsmine

It truly pains me to say this but I think it's time to change my prayers/wishes/hopes for Jo from recovery to release.

I just sat here for 5 minutes trying to get myself to push the button to post. This is hard.

I feel the same way Cats. It's hard to admit but I do think it's time to pray for a quick peaceful end. She deserves to have an end to her suffering.

The only people that will suffer her loss are those left behind, she'll be in paradise, I truly believe that. She deserves that.

I'm chaning my prayers for her family, the strength to deal with all of this, also the strength to let go.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

the strength to let go.

That takes a lot.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Catsmine

That takes a lot.

It does, and often it takes a long time to come to the conclusion that you're no longer pushing because of your loved one, but because of you, the fear of your loss.

As I've said, I didn't know Jo long or well, but I truly wish peace to her and hers.

I'm hoping for a miracle. My sister-in-law was in Starby's condition three years ago, and she came back from the brink.