A farmer is giving his wife last-minute instructions before heading to town to do chores.

"That fellow from Sematol will be along this afternoon to inseminate one of the cows. I've hung a nail by the right stall so you'll know which one I want him to impregnate."

Satisfied that even his mentally challenged wife could understand the instructions, the farmer left for town.

That afternoon, the 'Inseminator' arrives, and the wife dutifully takes him out to the barn and directly to the stall with the nail.

"This is the cow right here," she tells him.

"What's the nail for?" the guy asks.

Replies the wife, "I guess its to hang up your pants."

There's a student in medical school who wants to specialize in sexual disorders, so he makes arrangements to visit the sexual disorder clinic. The chief doctor is showing him around, discussing cases and the facility, when the student sees a patient masturbating right there in the hallway.

"What condition does he have?" the student asks.

"He suffers from Seminal Buildup Disorder," the doctor replies. "If he doesn't obtain sexual release forty to fifty times a day, he'll pass into a coma."

The student takes some notes on that, and they continue down the hall. As they turn the corner, he sees another patient with his pants around his ankles, receiving oral sex from a beautiful nurse.

"What about him?" the student asks. "What's his story?"

"Oh, it's the same condition," the doctor replies. "He just has a better health plan."

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by starbuck8

Is this YUK YUK night at the looney bin??? LOL!!

Alty, is it too early to have to turn the heat on? I'm flippin freeeeeezing!! What the heck? It's August for God sakes!

---

Close your windows and turn of your air conditioner. Jeesh. ;):)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Altenweg

Jack goes to the doctor and says "Doc I'm having trouble getting my penis erect, can you help me?"

After a complete examination the doctor tells Jack, "Well the problem is that the muscles around the base of your penis are damaged. There's really nothing I can do for you unless you're willing to try an experimental treatment."

Jack asks sadly, "And that would be?"

"Well," the Doctor explains, "What we would do is take the muscles from the trunk of a baby elephant and implant them in your penis."

Jack thinks about it silently then says, "Well the thought of going through life without ever having sex again is too much, let's go for it."

Jack went under the knife, and, after a period of recovery and healing, returned to the Doc for his blessing. Following the examination, the Doc pronounced Jack "healed and ready for action".

Eager to use his experimentally enhanced equipment, Jack planned a romantic evening for his girlfriend and took her to one of the nicest restaurants in town, anticipating a happy conclusion to the evening.

In the middle of dinner he felt a stirring between his legs that continued to the point of being painful.

To release the pressure, Jack placed his napkin on his lap and unzipped his fly. His penis immediately sprung from his pants, flipped the napkin on the floor, went to the top of the table, grabbed a bread roll and then returned to his pants!

His girlfriend was stunned at first but then, imagining the possibilities, said with a sly smile and a gleam in her eye, "That was incredible! Can you do it again?"

Jack groaned, "Probably, but I don't think I can fit another roll in my a$$."

---

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!! Marta is laughing sooo hard that she is on the floor...I had to give her mouth to mouth to revive her!!!!!!!!!1

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Stringer

Hey buddy, you are working toooo hard my friend. I haven't seen you for a while?:D

Stringer

---

Hell day at work stringer , I had one of our employees down load a virus and its gone through the whole network.

So long story short , fixing 25 PC's one at a time... gotta love computers:rolleyes:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Altenweg

Jack goes to the doctor and says "Doc I'm having trouble getting my penis erect, can you help me?"

After a complete examination the doctor tells Jack, "Well the problem is that the muscles around the base of your penis are damaged. There's really nothing I can do for you unless you're willing to try an experimental treatment."

Jack asks sadly, "And that would be?"

"Well," the Doctor explains, "What we would do is take the muscles from the trunk of a baby elephant and implant them in your penis."

Jack thinks about it silently then says, "Well the thought of going through life without ever having sex again is too much, let's go for it."

Jack went under the knife, and, after a period of recovery and healing, returned to the Doc for his blessing. Following the examination, the Doc pronounced Jack "healed and ready for action".

Eager to use his experimentally enhanced equipment, Jack planned a romantic evening for his girlfriend and took her to one of the nicest restaurants in town, anticipating a happy conclusion to the evening.

In the middle of dinner he felt a stirring between his legs that continued to the point of being painful.

To release the pressure, Jack placed his napkin on his lap and unzipped his fly. His penis immediately sprung from his pants, flipped the napkin on the floor, went to the top of the table, grabbed a bread roll and then returned to his pants!

His girlfriend was stunned at first but then, imagining the possibilities, said with a sly smile and a gleam in her eye, "That was incredible! Can you do it again?"

Jack groaned, "Probably, but I don't think I can fit another roll in my a$$."

---

LMAO...........Now THAT was hilarious :p

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by friend4u178

Hell day at work stringer , I had one of our employees down load a virus and its gone through the whole network.

So long story short , fixing 25 PC's one at a time.............gotta love computers:rolleyes:

---

Yeah, I've heard that before... but they certainly don't love us... ask Starby... :eek:

Two men camping in the mountains had spent four days together, and they were getting a little testy. One morning, the first friend says, "You know, we're starting to get on each other's nerves. Why don't we split up today. I'll hike north and spend the day looking around, you hike south and spend the day. Then tonight, we'll have dinner and share our experiences over the campfire."

The second friend agrees and hikes south. The first man hikes north.

That night over dinner, the first man tells his story: "Today I hiked into a beautiful valley. I followed a stream up into a canyon and ate lunch. Then I swam in a crystal clear mountain lake. As I sat out and dried, I watched deer come and drink from the stream. The wildflowers were filled with butterflies and hawks floated all day overhead. How was your day?"

The second friend says, "I went south and ran across a set of railroad tracks. I followed them until I came across a beautiful young woman tied to the tracks. I cut the ropes off, gently lifted her off the tracks, and I had sex with her in every imaginable way all afternoon. Finally, when I was so tired I could barely move, I came back to camp."

"Wow!!" the first guy exclaimed, "Your day was MUCH better than mine. Did you get oral sex, too?"

"Nah," says the second friend over his meal, "I couldn't find her head."

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?"

"None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away."

"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking."

Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?"

"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone."

"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."

> >> Chris Rock's "Quote of the Year"...
> >>
> >> "You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white
Guy,
> >> the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese,
> >> the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of
> >> arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most
> >> powerful men in America are named Bush, , and Colon.

This is fun, I could do this all night.

M, don't you have any? :)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Altenweg

Two men camping in the mountains had spent four days together, and they were getting a little testy. One morning, the first friend says, "You know, we're starting to get on each other's nerves. Why don't we split up today. I'll hike north and spend the day looking around, you hike south and spend the day. Then tonight, we'll have dinner and share our experiences over the campfire."

The second friend agrees and hikes south. The first man hikes north.

That night over dinner, the first man tells his story: "Today I hiked into a beautiful valley. I followed a stream up into a canyon and ate lunch. Then I swam in a crystal clear mountain lake. As I sat out and dried, I watched deer come and drink from the stream. The wildflowers were filled with butterflies and hawks floated all day overhead. How was your day?"

The second friend says, "I went south and ran across a set of railroad tracks. I followed them until I came across a beautiful young woman tied to the tracks. I cut the ropes off, gently lifted her off the tracks, and I had sex with her in every imaginable way all afternoon. Finally, when I was so tired I could barely move, I came back to camp."

"Wow!!" the first guy exclaimed, "Your day was MUCH better than mine. Did you get oral sex, too?"

"Nah," says the second friend over his meal, "I couldn't find her head."

---

Aaaaaaaah... oowwwwwweeeeeeeee.. ugggh!

I know Stringer, but you can't help but laugh, and then say ewwwwwww! ;)

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'

Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'


Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Altenweg

This is fun, I could do this all night.

M, don't you have any? :)

---

Not at my PC at the moment I'm afraid:(

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.


Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who sh**s on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of it is your
friend.

(3) And when you're in deep , it's best to keep
your mouth shut!

Nun Humor These two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits.

After conferring about this for a while, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, strip off their habits, and paint in the nude.

In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door. "Who's there?", calls one of the nuns. "Blind man," replies a voice from the other side of the door.

The two nuns look at each other and shrug, and, deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room, they open the door.

"Nice breasts," says the man, "where do you want these blinds?"

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by friend4u178

Not at my PC at the moment I'm afraid:(

---

Are you at someone else's computer laughing your a$$ off? Hee, hee, I can just picture it. :)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Stringer

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.


Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who sh**s on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of it is your
friend.

(3) And when you're in deep , it's best to keep
your mouth shut!

---

ROTFLMAO, I love it! :p :p

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Altenweg

Nun Humor These two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits.

After conferring about this for a while, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, strip off their habits, and paint in the nude.

In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door. "Who's there?", calls one of the nuns. "Blind man," replies a voice from the other side of the door.

The two nuns look at each other and shrug, and, deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room, they open the door.

"Nice breasts," says the man, "where do you want these blinds?"

---

I SEE!!! ha ha

An Illinois man who left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.

Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly woman whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

DEAREST WIFE:

JUST GOT CHECKED IN. EVERYTHING PREPARED FOR YOUR ARRIVAL TOMORROW.

YOUR LOVING HUSBAND

P.S. SURE IS HOT DOWN HERE

> The United Way realized that it had never received a donation from
The city's most successful lawyer.
>
> So a United Way volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish
Office. The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, 'Our research shows
That even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you
Don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back
To your community through the United Way?'
>
> The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, 'First, did your research
Also show you that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and
She has huge medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?
>
> Embarrassed, the United Way Rep mumbles, 'Uh... no, I didn't know
That.'
>
> 'Secondly, 'says the lawyer, 'my brother, a disabled veteran, is
Blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife
And six children.'
>
> The stricken United Way Rep begins to stammer an apology...
>
> 'Third, did your research also show you that my sister's husband died
In dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and
Three children, one of whom is disabled and another that has learning
Disabilities requiring an array of private tutors?'
>
> The humiliated United Way Rep, completely beaten, says, 'I'm so
Sorry, I had no idea.'
>
> And the lawyer says, 'So, if I didn't give any money to them, what
makes you think I'd give any to you?'

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Altenweg

Are you at someone elses computer laughing your a$$ off? Hee, hee, I can just picture it. :)

---

LOL... I am actually , I wondered why they were looking at me funny :) I'm supposed to be streesing out fixing everyone's PC's :rolleyes:

Women... are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the
Tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are
Afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the
Apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. The apples at the
Top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're
Amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one
Who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Now Men.... Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up
to women to stomp the out of them until they turn into something
acceptable to have dinner with.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by friend4u178

LOL......I am actually , I wondered why they were looking at me funny :) I'm supposed to be streesing out fixing everyone's PC's :rolleyes:

---

They probably think you're that evil boss that is sitting in front of his computer and doing the Muwahahahaha laugh, as you are figuring out how to somehow deduct the down time from their paychecks! :eek: :D

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.

Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man.


He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.


Oh my, I am so sorry, " the woman says as she pops her eye back in place.


"Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you, " she says.


They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theater followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens.


After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast.


They had a wonderful, wonderful time.


The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed! ! Everything had been SO incredible!!!!


"You know, " he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet? "


"No, " she replies. . . . . "



Wait for it. .



It's coming.




The suspense is killing you, isn't it?


She says:


"You just happened to catch my eye."

Did you give me that virus M? Now my puter is acting strange. Grrr, and I spent 2 hours trying to fix it this afternoon, it was doing fine, now all of a sudden it's acting up. :( You know I'm kidding, right, I know it's not your fault. My puter has been acting up for the last few days, I think it's Starby's fault. ;)

I'm going to go do a virus scan, see what's going on. Then I'm going to hit the sack, and the computer if it doesn't smarten up. ;)

Night boys, take care. Stringer, I enjoyed joke night. :)

George Bush goes to a primary school to talk to the kids to get a little PR.
After his talk he offers question time.

One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him his name. "Stanley,"
Responds the little boy.

"And what is your question, Stanley?"

"I have 4 questions:

"First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
"Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes?
"Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?"
"Fourth, why are we so worried about gay-marriage when 1/2 of all
Americans don't have health insurance?

Just then, the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that
They
Will continue after recess.

When they resume George says, "OK, where were we? Oh, that's right,question
time. Who has a question?"

Another little boy puts up his hand. Bush points him out and asks him his
Name.

"Steve," he responds.

"And what is your question, Steve?"

"Actually, I have 6 questions:

"First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
"Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes?
"Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?
"Fourth, why are we so worried about gay marriage when 1/2 of all
Americans don't have health insurance?
"Fifth, why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?
"And sixth, what happened to Stanley?"

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Altenweg

Did you give me that virus M? Now my puter is acting strange. Grrr, and I spent 2 hours trying to fix it this afternoon, it was doing fine, now all of a sudden it's acting up. :( You know I'm kidding, right, I know it's not your fault. My puter has been acting up for the last few days, I think it's Starby's fault. ;)

I'm going to go do a virus scan, see what's going on. Then I'm going to hit the sack, and the computer if it doesn't smarten up. ;)

Night boys, take care. Stringer, I enjoyed joke night. :)

---

I didn't do anyting to yer puter! You not going to say night to me? :( ::sniff sniff::

G'nitey Night!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Altenweg

Did you give me that virus M? Now my puter is acting strange. Grrr, and I spent 2 hours trying to fix it this afternoon, it was doing fine, now all of a sudden it's acting up. :( You know I'm kidding, right, I know it's not your fault. My puter has been acting up for the last few days, I think it's Starby's fault. ;)

I'm going to go do a virus scan, see what's going on. Then I'm going to hit the sack, and the computer if it doesn't smarten up. ;)

Night boys, take care. Stringer, I enjoyed joke night. :)

---

G-night alty

What's the difference?

A group of kids from the city was on a field trip to the country to visit a small farm. The kids were amazed to see all the different kinds of animals on the farm.

First, the farmer asks one little girl,
"What's the difference between a rooster and a hen?"

"The hens lay eggs, then the rooster brags about it."

"Very good!"

Then the farmer asked another little girl,

"What's the difference between a duck and a turkey?"

"Well, ducks are a bunch of soggy quackers....
turkeys are what we eat on Thanksgiving Day."

"Excellent!"

Then he asks little Johnny,

"Do you know the difference between a bull and a cow?"

"Yep, I sure do!"

"Bulls smile when you milk 'em."

Hahaha! Sounds like a TRUE "Bush" story!

RE: THE NAVY
>
> A young Navy Officer was in a bad car accident, but due to the
>heroics of the hospital staff the only permanent injury was the loss of
>one ear. Since he wasn't physically impaired he remained in the
>military and eventually became an Admiral. During his career he was; always sensitive about his appearance.
>
> One day the Admiral was interviewing three Master Chiefs for the
>Command Master Chief position.
>
> The first Master Chief was a Surface Navy type an d it was a
>great interview. At the end of the interview the Admiral asked him, "Do
>you notice anything different about me?"
>
> The Master Chief answered, "Why yes. I couldn't help but notice
>you are missing your starboard ear, so I need to know whether this
>impacts your hearing on that side." The Admiral got very angry at this
>lack of tact and threw him out of his office.
>
> The next candidate, a Aviation Service Master Chief, when asked
>this same question, answered, "Well yes, you seem to be short one ear."
>The Admiral threw him out also.
>
> The third interview was with an Submarine Master Chief. He was
>articulate, extremely sharp, and seemed to know more than the other two
>Master Chiefs put together. The Admiral wanted this guy, but went ahead
>with the same question, "Do you notice anything different about me?"
>
> To his surprise the Submarine Master Chief said, "Yes. You wear
>contact lenses."
>
> The Admiral was impressed and thought to himself, what an
>incredibly tactful Master Chief. "And how do you know that?" the
>Admiral asked.
>
> The Submarine Master Chief replied, "Well it's pretty hard to
>wear glasses with only one f**king ear."

"Soggy quacker???"... I thought those were the saltines you put in soup!

1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.

To the sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING

3 The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.

For the sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.

5 The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.
And...

6 The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is GOLF.

THE AMAZING CONCLUSION:


The higher you go in the corporate structure,
the smaller your balls become.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by starbuck8

"Soggy quacker???"...........................I thought those were the saltines you put in soup!!

---

Oooooooooooppps? sorry, no.:rolleyes:

The Value of a Good Drink


"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink
I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think
about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes
and dreams If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out
of work and their dreams would be shattered.
Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their
Dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
~ Jack Handy

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
Happened to your bra and panties
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they
wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're
going to feel all day. "
~Frank Sinatra
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~ Henny Youngman
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?I think not."
~ Stephen Wright
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk,
we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all
get drunk and go to heaven!"
~ Brian O'Rourke
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~ Benjamin Franklin
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Without question, the greatest invention in the
history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the
wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does
not go nearly as well with pizza."
~ Dave Barry
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
~Dave Howell
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin,of Cheers.
One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm.
Here's how it went:
"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by starbuck8

They probably think you're that evil boss that is sitting in front of his computer and doing the Muwahahahaha laugh, as you are figuring out how to somehow deduct the down time from their paychecks!! :eek: :D

---

HA hA... now there's an idea starby ;)


Stringer , your on a roll here!!

I've always like the... 24 hrs in a day... 24 beer in a case... coincidence?. I think not! Has to be in my top one hundred! LOL