Ask Me Help Desk - Castle time! Castle time!

So, there's this yellow toad wandering around in the forest kind of ticked off because he doesn't want to be yellow. Life would be easier if he were green like the other toads.. He'd sure be less visible to predators for one thing. Anyway... this yellow toad bumps into a fairy godmother.
He begs her: "Fairy godmother, please make me green like the other toads. I am tired of being so visible to predators and suchlike."
The fairy godmother whips out her magic wand and says, "Toadra-capokus! You're green!"
The toad looks down and sees that he is green except for his package, which is still yellow. He says to the fairy godmother: "Wait a minute! My pecker's still yellow!"
To this the fairy godmother replies: "I don't do johnsons. You will have to go see The Wizard of Oz for that." The toad thanks her and hops off on his way.
There is a purple bear wandering about the very same woods. As luck would have it, he also encounters the very same fairy godmother. He implores her: "Fairy godmother, please make me brown like all the other bears. None of the lady bears want to be seen with me on account that the hunters can spot me from a mile off."
She, being a nice fairy godmother, takes out her magic wand and says:"Bearus-cadabra! You're brown!"
The bear looks down and sees that he is, in fact, brown with the exception of the ole twig and berries. They remain purple. He says: "My wang is still purple!" She says: "I don't do units, you will have to go see The Wizard of Oz for that."
To this the bear replies: "Well that's just dandy, but how the hell do I find The Wizard of Oz?"
The fairy godmother answers: "That's easy... just follow the yellow prick'd Toad!"

Quote:

Originally Posted by redhed35

im having my last smoke of the day....

god i love smoking,i should'nt but i do.

Tut tut red,

Quote:

Originally Posted by albear

The fairy godmother answers: "That's easy... just follow the yellow prick'd Toad!"

You typed that much just foist THIS on us?

Sad, really.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

My rules has always been "I will not date a man with larger breasts than me".

Of course that's pretty much the entire population of men. I hope! :eek:

You'd be shocked at what I saw yesterday.

Dude had at least JJ cups. Seriously.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Catsmine

You typed that much just foist THIS on us?

Sad, really.

Well it originally used a word beginning with d but it got censored :(

Plus it was a copy n paste job, not much effort really :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by albear

well it originally used a word beginning with d but it got censored :(

plus it was a copy n paste job, not much effort really :)

I wouldn't admit to a pun that bad, either.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Catsmine

I wouldn't admit to a pun that bad, either.

I felt left out having no jokes to post,and this came in a recent set of emails, others of which were rude... er :D

What's the longest time you've spent on amhd?

My longest was 10 hours... shocking I know.

One minute shaz was saying goodnight the next she was saying good morning... ten hours had passed...

Quote:

Originally Posted by redhed35

whats the longest time you've spent on amhd?

my longest was 10 hours...shocking i know.

one minute shaz was saying goodnight the next she was saying good morning...ten hours had passed.....

At one time? Do bathroom breaks count? Depends on how many pretty girls there were to flirt with.

Quote:

Originally Posted by redhed35

whats the longest time you've spent on amhd?

my longest was 10 hours...shocking i know.

one minute shaz was saying goodnight the next she was saying good morning...ten hours had passed.....

I've had nights like those, but you were the one saying Goodnight and Good morning. :)

Where does the time go,if no one is one the boards or the threads are quite I just potter away in old threads...

The old member discussion threads keep me entertained for hours...

YouTube - Mumford & Sons - The Cave

Any in particular red?

Quote:

Originally Posted by redhed35

whats the longest time you've spent on amhd?

my longest was 10 hours...shocking i know.

one minute shaz was saying goodnight the next she was saying good morning...ten hours had passed.....

Longest I think is close to 14 hours

Yeah I know :(

Hey guys. How was every one's week end? I think the longest I have spent would be around 10 hours. Long.

Wasn't very good to be honest bella, you can kind of guess why, hope yours was a lot better.

Only downside of working so far, I can't take a few days for some self destruction :(

Quote:

Originally Posted by albear

So, there's this yellow toad wandering around in the forest kinda ticked off because he doesn't want to be yellow. Life would be easier if he were green like the other toads.. He'd sure be less visible to predators for one thing. Anyway... this yellow toad bumps into a fairy godmother.
He begs her: "Fairy godmother, please make me green like the other toads. I am tired of being so visible to predators and suchlike."
The fairy godmother whips out her magic wand and says, "Toadra-capokus! You're green!"
The toad looks down and sees that he is green except for his package, which is still yellow. He says to the fairy godmother: "Wait a minute! My pecker's still yellow!"
To this the fairy godmother replies: "I don't do johnsons. You will have to go see The Wizard of Oz for that." The toad thanks her and hops off on his way.
There is a purple bear wandering about the very same woods. As luck would have it, he also encounters the very same fairy godmother. He implores her: "Fairy godmother, please make me brown like all the other bears. None of the lady bears want to be seen with me on account that the hunters can spot me from a mile off."
She, being a nice fairy godmother, takes out her magic wand and says:"Bearus-cadabra! You're brown!"
The bear looks down and sees that he is, in fact, brown with the exception of the ole twig and berries. They remain purple. He says: "My wang is still purple!" She says: "I don't do units, you will have to go see The Wizard of Oz for that."
To this the bear replies: "Well that's just dandy, but how the hell do I find The Wizard of Oz?"
The fairy godmother answers: "That's easy... just follow the yellow prick'd Toad!"

That made me laugh. I tried to share it with a friend, but the messenger butchered it and sent the last part in the middle, for some reason.

Quote:

Originally Posted by albear

longest i think is close to 14 hours

yeah i know :(

Mine's probably closer to 24, but I was also doing other stuff. Watching videos, reading stories, finding things to entertain myself.

Quote:

Originally Posted by hheath541

that made me laugh. i tried to share it with a friend, but the messenger butchered it and sent the last part in the middle, for some reason.

Sorry to hear that heath :(

Nothing worse than a good joke butchered :(

Quote:

Originally Posted by hheath541

mine's probably closer to 24, but i was also doing other stuff. watching videos, reading stories, finding things to entertain myself.

Ahhh the other stuff, those little breaks during the day before getting back to AMHD :)

Sorry, ill stop replying to everything now :(

About time I buggered off anyhoo

Night all

Oh Bear, I'm sorry to hear about your week end. I know you're feeling pretty down :( :( I hope you start feeling better soon. {{hugs}}

Quote:

Originally Posted by albear

ahhh the other stuff, those little breaks during the day before getting back to AMHD :)

Breaks? no. I take breaks from the other stuff to come back here. I have several pages that are permanently open, and this is one of them. I check back here more often then I check myspace, Facebook, or either of my emails.

I'm not telling about my longest stint on AMHD. I just remember my hubby bringing me a coffee, telling me the kids are at school and wouldn't I like to sleep for a while?

He just doesn't get it. ;)

Can someone PLEASE help me beat some sense into this twit? Apparently, no matter HOW many times I tell her to take her cat to the vet, it won't sink in.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/cats/c...-491259-2.html

Quote:

Originally Posted by hheath541

can someone PLEASE help me beat some sense into this twit? apparently, no matter HOW many times i tell her to take her cat to the vet, it won't sink in.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/cats/c...-491259-2.html

Done. Let the reddies rain down. ;)

I'm pretty sure all of my posts, but the first one, told her to take the poor animal to the vet. I mean, seriously, she bled for two days, and enough to leave a large spot behind on at least one occasion. Instead of taking her to the vet after finding the puddle of blood, she locked her in the BATHROOM so the furniture wouldn't get stained. Bleeding prior to labor happens, but not for two days and not enough to leave a stain that big.

I want to smack people.

Quote:

Originally Posted by hheath541

I'm pretty sure all of my posts, but the first one, told her to take the poor animal to the vet. i mean, seriously, she bled for two days, and enough to leave a large spot behind on at least one occasion. instead of taking her to the vet after finding the puddle of blood, she locked her in the BATHROOM so the furniture wouldn't get stained. bleeding prior to labor happens, but not for two days and not enough to leave a stain that big.

i want to smack people.

Heath, if I smacked someone every time they ticked me off, that's all I'd be doing all day long. ;)

Deep breath. Inhale... exhale... inhale... exhale... where's Bear? Shouldn't he be here staring at your breasts as you inhale and exhale? ;)

Feel better? Make you laugh? No? Well come bang your head up against a rock on my riddle thread. :)

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/games/...ou-491817.html

Quote:

Originally Posted by hheath541

I'm pretty sure all of my posts, but the first one, told her to take the poor animal to the vet. i mean, seriously, she bled for two days, and enough to leave a large spot behind on at least one occasion. instead of taking her to the vet after finding the puddle of blood, she locked her in the BATHROOM so the furniture wouldn't get stained. bleeding prior to labor happens, but not for two days and not enough to leave a stain that big.

i want to smack people.

I am afraid to ask how he/she knows the cat stopped bleeding. :(

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cat1864

I am afraid to ask how he/she knows the cat stopped bleeding. :(

Sometimes we're better off not knowing.

I have nightmares about what we'd find out if everyone came back to update us on their animals.

Not knowing is sometimes a good thing. Ignorance is bliss in this situation. :(

K I might have been a bit harsh, but this made my skin crawl.

I feel SO bad for this cat. :(

At this point, I don't think there's such a thing as being too harsh.

They're not entirely sure when this cat got pregnant, which means they allowed an unfixed female around unfixed males on at least several occasions, if they tried to prevent it at all. They have done NO research into feline pregnancy and labor, and obviously have no experience with animal birthings. They noticed her bleeding TWO DAYS before posting here, and saw nothing wrong with that. Even after being told several times they they should at least call and TALK to a vet, they have shown absolutely no inclination to do so.

Out of ALL of that, the only response amounts to, 'well, she's still pregnant, so I guess I'll sit on my butt and wait to see if she either gives birth or dies.'

That is ridiculous

Quote:

Originally Posted by hheath541

at this point, i don't think there's such a thing as being too harsh.

they're not entirely sure when this cat got pregnant, which means they allowed an unfixed female around unfixed males on at least several occasions, if they tried to prevent it at all. they have done NO research into feline pregnancy and labor, and obviously have no experience with animal birthings. they noticed her bleeding TWO DAYS before posting here, and saw nothing wrong with that. even after being told several times they they should at least call and TALK to a vet, they have shown absolutely no inclination to do so.

out of ALL of that, the only response amounts to, 'well, she's still pregnant, so i guess i'll sit on my butt and wait to see if she either gives birth or dies.'

I hate people like that. Grr. I wish there was a throwing up emoticon.

1 Attachment(s)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aurora_Bell

I hate people like that. Grr. I wish there was a throwing up emoticon.

Attachment 32151

Here you go Bella.

Perfect!

In spite of the horrible cat lady, I had a wonderful day. Anyone want to hear about it?

I need a new mouse!

Stupid dumb not working sticking to everything supposed to be the best infrared ball thingamobby piece of crap! :(

:: breathes deeply::

I feel better. :)

:: smashes mouse against wall::

I feel much better. :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

I need a new mouse!

Stupid dumb not working sticking to everything supposed to be the best infrared ball thingamobby piece of crap! :(

:: breathes deeply::

I feel better. :)

:: smashes mouse against wall::

I feel much better. :)

Did it squeak?
Your mouse?

Tell us about your day Emop.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aurora_Bell

Tell us about your day Emop.

WELL I got to see my boyfriend today, we walked down his yard, through fields, to a lake, through woods, and just chatted and enjoyed being together. Then we went to the state park and rock climbed and hiked, swam in a lake, kissed under a waterfall, it was great. Then when we got back to his house, his family invited me to stay to watch a movie. His dad's side of the family adores me =) it was great. Except I couldn't watch the movie, lately I've had such a weak stomach! (and normally I can watch the goriest and most horrific movies without a blink). It was sooo fun, nature, nature, and a movie =)

Emop - That sounds like a really great day.