Ask Me Help Desk - Michelle's Growth

I almost ran into a building a few weeks ago though.

Quote:

Originally Posted by br_hjs

i'm getting my lisence REALLY soon so i can see him more.

Thought you didn't care about getting a license and nobody took you out driving anyway.

I wanted to so I could see him but I feel like an idiot when I drive for some reason... or anytime I have to wear my glasses. The second I put them on I can't help but cry and its hard for me to cry anymore... and its my mom that never takes me driving. My dad I hate driving with because he says to turn somewhere and when I turn exactly where he said to turn, al of a sudden that isn't where he wanted me to turn, I was supposed to turn somewhere else. He'll tell me to go to mc donalds and I start driving in that direction and he says that he starts asking where I'm going because he wants to go to burger king. That's just an example. He does that all the time w/ everyone.

Anyway. End of this conversation. Another thing I will not waste anymore time here talking about. I come here only to talk about him. That's my main concern. And that's how I found this site. I don't want to laugh with all of you and tell jokes and talk about what I'm doing and how I'm doing, that doesn't matter. I'm only interested in talking about him. That's the only thing I come here for and if I can't get answers here then I'll quit coming here. I would be sleeping more if I wasn't here now talking about this. If I just simply got the answers and not had to talk about a bunch of other stuff all the time, I would have this all cleared up and nothing left to talk about him. I try to spend as less time on here as possible. And I don't want to talk about all this other stuff it just keeps me up later

Only he can give you answers (we certainly can't speak for him!). And you have to believe what he tells you, or get out of his life and give him a chance to find someone else.

Yeah right (about us keeping you up).

See, he lies... and that last part... about him finding someone else. Please don't ever mention it again. I cry when people I don't even know break up sometimes.
Its just that everyone thinks that stuff is impossible for him to not find another female attractive and if you ask me its NOT impossible. But the whole world thinks it is. I would believe him if it weren't for the rest of the world. So now they have me thinking that he's lying to me and so I think about every thing he says and if it sounds like a lie and a lot does but how do I know for sure? I don't know and I probably never will. So he tells me something and I should believe him? But the whole world would say he's lying. I really felt like he wasn't but now I'm starting to wonder. But only because the rest of the world makes me that way. Who's right? Or should I ask who I should believe instead? Everyone that says he does find other girls attractive just because they do if they are guy and the rest of the world they think is that way. Or should I believe him who is him and knows the truth, but if it is the truth its so unbeilevable.

My husband and I have been married 40 years. He has looked at and admired other women. Big deal. I trust him. I have looked at and admired other men. Big deal. He trusts me.

You would NOT believe your boyfriend (ANY bf) no matter what. You have said that from Day One. Leave him alone and give him some peace. Move on with your life. You are being poison to him.

Who should I believe though? He has said that he doesn't like other girls since day one and back then I wouldn't have cared. But I know he would get mad at me if I liked anyone else.
But I know he cares because now that I think of it... anytime he knows I need something or want something, he gets it for me. It takes him forever but he does. And I would be willing to be with him no matter what. I would like things to be a certain way but if they can't be that way, but they're another way its still better than nothing at all.

Quote:

Originally Posted by br_hjs

i wanted to so i could see him but i feel like an idiot when i drive for some reason... or anytime i have to wear my glasses. The second i put them on i can't help but cry and its hard for me to cry anymore.... and its my mom that never takes me driving. my dad i hate driving with b/c he says to turn somewhere and when i turn exactly where he said to turn, al of a sudden that isnt where he wanted me to turn, i was supposed to turn somewhere else. He'll tell me to go to mc donalds and i start driving in that direction and he says that he starts asking where im going b/c he wants to go to burger king. Thats just an example. he does that all the time w/ everyone.

anyways. end of this conversation. Another thing i will not waste anymore time here talking about. i come here only to talk about him. thats my main concern. and thats how i found this site. i dont wanna laugh with all of you and tell jokes and talk about what i'm doing and how i'm doing, that doesnt matter. im only interested in talking about him. thats the only thing i come here for and if i can't get answers here then i'll quit comming here. i would be sleeping more if i wasnt here now talking about this. if i just simply got the answers and not had to talk about a bunch of other stuff all the time, i would have this all cleared up and nothing left to talk about him. i try to spend as less time on here as possible. and i dont wanna talk about all this other stuff it just keeps me up later

Even if things do work out for you and your boyfriend Michelle, you are still going to need to have your own life. If you revolve everything that you say and do around your boyfriend, then you don't really have your own life. It sounds like he has his own life, and that you are just along for the ride.

No one here can read your boyfriend's mind. We can't speak for him or even guess at what he is thinking. You do need to be speaking with him, rather than spend time here trying to guess what is going on. You have received some very fine answers from people on this site who have cared about you. Have you cared about them in return? You are not likely to find another site such as this where people will take the time to give answers and also care so much.

Do you want to have your own life, Michelle? You are more likely to get along with others better; have better interpersonal relationships with others, such as your boyfriend, if you do have other interests that you are pursuing rather than being completely obsessed with your boyfriend.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clough

Even if things do work out for you and your boyfriend Michelle, you are still going to need to have your own life. If you revolve everything that you say and do around your boyfriend, then you don't really have your own life. It sounds like he has his own life, and that you are just along for the ride.

No one here can read your boyfriend's mind. We can't speak for him or even guess at what he is thinking. You do need to be speaking with him, rather than spend time here trying to guess what is going on. You have received some very fine answers from people on this site who have cared about you. Have you cared about them in return? You are not likely to find another site such as this where people will take the time to give answers and also care so much.

Do you want to have your own life, Michelle? You are more likely to get along with others better; have better interpersonal relationships with others, such as your boyfriend, if you do have other interests that you are pursuing rather than being completely obsessed with your boyfriend.

No one can read his mind but how do I know if I should believe him or someone else when everyone says that he's lying and that every guys going to find other girls attractive and he says that they are all wrong? Its like this worlds against me. They are just out to get me. I would believe him but after a while I start to notice? How can other people find other people attractive when they are with someone? Its not fair. Then I noticed that everyone is like that. THey all say he's lying. So now I begin to wonder if he is. I didn't think so but everyone else is trying to get it in my mind that he is

Ive never had any interests. Unless you count sitting at home all day listening to music so much it became an addiction. At least 8 hours a day before. Started in the 7th grade and now its starting to fade away.

Every guy, no matter if he has a gf/SO/wife or not, will find girls/women attractive.

Are you afraid to talk to him? I mean, about certain things that you want/need to know?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Every guy, no matter if he has a gf/SO/wife or not, will find girls/women attractive.

Even if they are gay? That's what confuses me. If you can like boys or girls, can't you just like one girl?

I am talking about straight males. (Didn't realize I had to get persnickety with my statement.)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clough

Are you afraid to talk to him? I mean, about certain things that you want/need to know?

Sometimes because he won't answer and he'll just get mad and walk away. I e-mailed him and asked him some stuff and he read it and never e-mailed back

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I am talking about straight males. (Didn't realize I had to get persnickety with my statement.)

So can't he be like I said then?

Also:

Every guy, no matter if he has a gf/SO/wife or not and likes/loves that gf/SO/wife, will find girls/women attractive.

Every guy? Are you sure that their isn't ANY that aren't like that? Would you say the same about every girl with guys? Because I know that would be wrong.

If they are alive and healthy (both mentally and physically), yes--every single one.

Is that why he would leave me if I liked someone else in any way at all?

Did I say "like"? That's a whole different ballgame.

Your just assuming he does because you look around and that's what you see.

But you don't know him like I do and so how would you know the truth? Just because of what you see everywhere around you?
But does he really have to? No. Does he? I don't know. Do I ? no. Do I have to?no.

I'm going to tell him that I think someone's hot. And yeah it'll be a lie. But just to see the truth about him

Yeah yeah yeah... whatever... when I say like I mean that a word that I hate typing. You know what I mean.

I think Clough is very cool. He and I have become friends. There's no problem with that.

I have many male friends, all ages and some ugly, some handsome, some just so-so.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clough
Are you afraid to talk to him? I mean, about certain things that you want/need to know?

Quote:

Originally Posted by br_hjs

sometimes because he won't answer and he'll just get mad and walk away. I e-mailed him and asked him some stuff and he read it and never e-mailed back

Does this happen a lot? If so, how often?

I don't know. It doesn't happen as often as it used to. But if I'm on the phone and I tell him "i wont get mad if you find others attractive if you do just let me know. i dont wanna be lied to" and he just either says "but i dont" in a voice like he only cares about me. Or "can i go now." like he's just tired of it and wants to talk about something else. Then I tell him I just want to know again and then he just says "no i dont now i gotta go bye"
But that's how it WAS. Now I don't know because I don't get to tlak to him enough to know. But things seem to have gotten better.

But mainly because I quit asking him because I believed him... now, I don't know. I'm starting not to believe him. I'm starting to see him lie a lot. Some of it doesn't even make sense. And I'm starting to notice he's always been like that and he's that way to everyone.

So you all tell me to believe him and you even disagree with what he says?

When is the last time that you actually did something with your boyfriend for a date, Michelle?

Well what do you really mean by that? And I haven't seen him out of school since like April or may. He can't talk to me.

What I am getting to is, if you haven't seen him since April or May outside of school, then maybe he might not be someone that you should or would consider to be a boyfriend.

But, I suppose it does depend on what you think a boyfriend should be.

What do you consider a boyfriend to be, Michelle?

Well, we are both waiting for each other and everything is exactly like it was... we talk on the phone once in a great water if he can call... I meant while. (im really tired) but everythings like it was only we can only talk at school. We aren't looking for someone else or anything like that. We are both waiting to be able to hang out

Dear Michelle,

It is very late. We both should be in bed! I'm really tired, also!

I just came on because I was checking my email before going to bed, and noticed that you had responded.

Here is another question for you. How do you know that he is waiting for you?

I'm going to bed, now. I do look forward to your answer later! It was nice to see you answering some other people's posts for a change tonight, also! Please keep doing that! It will help you to get out of the rut that you are in.

Craig

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I think Clough is very cool. He and I have become friends. There's no problem with that.

I have many male friends, all ages and some ugly, some handsome, some just so-so.

Does that include me?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jesushelper76

Does that include me?

Of course it does! Hey, Joe -- I even adopted you, so charming you are!!

How is everything going today Wondergirl?

It's a nice, but cool, day in Chicagoland. Soon I will turn off the computer to get ready for work (from 1-9). Except for a sore knee, small headache, sensitive tooth, two hangnails, achy low back, arthritic finger, stuffy nose, and increasing myopia, I feel great! Hope you do too.

Wow, I could come up with a long list of things but I won't. Well besides all that your all right.

Emailing you soon after we get back from our trip. Did you get the pictures? Well hope to hear from you soon.

Yes, I got the pictures. They were WONderful! (Didn't you get my response?)

And those were fake ailments. I just wanted you to feel sympathy for me... Well, actually I do have ONE hangnail. Got to deal with that now and get ready for work.

I look forward to more pictures and for you to continue on this thread with your good thoughts.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clough

Dear Michelle,

It is very late. We both should be in bed! I'm really tired, also!

I just came on because I was checking my email before going to bed, and noticed that you had responded.

Here is another question for you. How do you know that he is waiting for you?

I'm going to bed, now. I do look forward to your answer later! It was nice to see you answering some other people's posts for a change tonight, also! Please keep doing that! It will help you to get out of the rut that you are in.

Craig

I don't know anymore... I'm forgeting who he is. What do you think... way to go!! Get me worried about that too now. THank you!