Ask Me Help Desk - Starby & Alty's Castle of Doom.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny

biggie: running = extra stress on cns? ...I've...never heard that in my entire life. strange. I had a routine that I stuck with for 6 months, and then I went out of the country, and it's gone to hell. 3 days run, 3 days lift weights, saturdays are my off days. I've lost about 25 lbs in 4 months...which isn't too bad. Hoping to drop another 10 then start seriously building up.

Yeah, I wasn't sure about that. You're the Dr :p

I've been tempted to start running again though. For the first month and a half or so I lost about 10 pounds, but its slowed down quite a bit. I don't think it was water weight as I try to drink at least half a gallon, probably closer to 3/4 a day. I know I shouldn't reasonably expect more than 1-2 pounds a week, but you know how it goes :p

I had the intention of losing weight first, then building muscle, but when I was at school I hardly ate, so I think my metabolism went to hell. I'm trying to eat more regularly, an dI have revised my nutrition habits a lot - no more sugar, no snacks, high protein, low carbs, etc... Hopefully the muscle will help boost my metabolism.

I'm sure I'll be around to give you guys periodic updates :p

How much did you run when you were doing your running? I was thinking about starting a sprinting routine...

When I first started, I'd do anywhere from 2.5 - 3 miles MWF.

Now that I'm down to my "core" weight... it's a bit hard to lose just on cardio, so I'm starting up intervals this next week. I'll be doing 5 min warmup, 1 min high intensity, 2 min med intensity, then 5 min cooldown... 3 times. So hopefully, I'll lose the next 10 this way.

But I agree, it's hard as crap to bulk up and lose weight at the same time.

My opinion is that the number really doesn't matter to me. I haven't given myself an ideal weight to reach, but I have given myself an ideal body image to get... So I guess I should stop looking at the scale and just keep my focus :p

I assume its near impossible to fain muscle at the rate you lose fat, but it certainly slows it down...

Daily Email Newsletter - Funniest Video of the Day

Funny guys here... I posted this on another thread but I wanted to share... maybe it will pick your day up?

Where are all the ghosties tonight? I'm having a baaaaaad day! Someone please come and tell me a joke! Stringy, I can seeee you!

I have to call the cops again... no more cops... sick of cops!

Hey starby. I'm so sorry to hear about the cops thing. The ex boyfriend again?

Hi Sneezy. Yes I would assume! This has been going on for a yr and a half now already, and I'm damn fed up! I went to go to my Dr.'s appt today, and once again my gate was wide open. I'm surprised I didn't have to go search the neighborhood for Niki. I went to start my van, and low and behold, it wouldn't start. Don't know what has been done to it this time. A few weeks ago someone broke in and dumped a bag load of garbage inside, and stole nothing but my registration.

This time they stole something else from my backyard. My mother had brought in a huge load of cans from a big party that was held at the hall where they live. My backyard lights were ripped down, and approx $200 of cans, that I was going to take in tomorrow, for money to go get myself a new outfit and get my hair done for my B'day were stolen.

It's a long wkd here, and now I can't go anywhere, because my van isn't running right, and everything is closed until Tues.

Such a wonderful day!

Sorry Starby, I fell asleep in th corner... you didn't hear me snoring? Wow, Marta elbos me, no just kidding. She gives me a kiss on the forehead to wake me.. Isn't she the best?

Well, I need to drag this body to bed, busy day at the movies and in the yard tomorrow. I've got to cut the hedges, with all this rain they are about 7" too high now.. 328 feet of hedge cutting, I think I will take Marta's advice and hire a lawn service...

Night,
Stringer

G'nite String Man... sweet dreams!

Quote:

Originally Posted by starbuck8

Hi Sneezy. Yes I would assume! This has been going on for a yr and a half now already, and I'm damn fed up! I went to go to my Dr.'s appt today, and once again my gate was wide open. I'm surprised I didn't have to go search the neighborhood for Niki. I went to start my van, and low and behold, it wouldn't start. Don't know what has been done to it this time. A few wks ago someone broke in and dumped a bag load of garbage inside, and stole nothing but my registration.

This time they stole something else from my backyard. My mother had brought in a huge load of cans from a big party that was held at the hall where they live. My backyard lights were ripped down, and approx $200 of cans, that I was going to take in tomorrow, for money to go get myself a new outfit and get my hair done for my B'day were stolen.

It's a long wkd here, and now I can't go anywhere, because my van isn't running right, and everthing is closed until Tues.

Such a wonderful day!

Starby I am sorry to hear all this hon, why didn't the neighbors see or hear anything? And since it happened before, aren't they watching out for you?

The cops really do nothing at all. I can't even get them to take prints. My ex, or his accompliss have already ripped apart another vehicle of mine that I had to get rid of, and now they are starting on my new one. It's insane!

I guess I really don't need a new outfit, or haircut for my B'day... after all, I guess I won't be going far. I had to spend over $30 in cab fare today just to get to my appt.

The neighbor on the one side of me has moved out, and the other ones have a new baby, and probably didn't hear anything. My ex is friends with the girl directly behind me, so I wouldn't doubt if she's his henchman!

Cameras? I know you can get a decent camera system set up for relatively cheap... or you can just hide a video camcorder outside your house pointed to your van... and maybe one in your backyard.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny

cameras? I know you can get a decent camera system set up for relatively cheap...or you can just hide a video camcorder outside your house pointed to your van...and maybe one in your backyard.

Actually, my Dad was going to look into this for me and set one up. I am going to need to talk to him about it again, because this just can't keep on happening. I can't afford to be buying new vehicles, and obviously the cops aren't going to do a damn thing! With all of my repair bills, and stolen things, I am wiped out in the money dept at this point.

I just called the cops again, and they said they are busy tonight, and the cop I have been dealing with won't be on until Sunday. That is my B'day... like I really want to sit around half the day waiting for the cops one more time. They still haven't settled the thing with Niki yet either, and that happened May 4th

You know, it probably helps if you just say, "You know what, I've dealt with it myself. You can find the bodies in my car, thanks for your help"

I'm sure that'll get them running.

Glad to be drunk A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."

Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"

"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."

Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."

HAHAHAHAHA! Oh I sooooo want to do that! You should have seen these morons running around yesterday when two banks, a block away from each other, got robbed. I could've called them then, and there would've been no cop in town available. Ooooooooo, big city crime!! There must have been a hundred cops (basically all we have) downtown. I could probably dumped a body in front of the donut shop, and they would all gather around wondering why they missed it. Seriously, you should see Tim Hortons Donuts near my house, there is not one hr of the day that there isn't a cop there having a donut... except for shift change! ;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jesushelper76

Glad to be drunk A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."

Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"

"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."

Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."

LMAO!! Thanks Joe! :D

Really Good Deed This guy arrives at the Pearly Gates. He has to wait to be admitted, while St. Pete leafs through his Big Book.

He's checking to see if the guy is worthy of entry or not. Saint Peter goes through the books several times, furrows his brow, and says to the guy, "You know, I can't see that you did lots of good in your life but, you never did anything bad either.

Tell you what, if you can tell me of one REALLY good deed that you did in your life, you're in."

The guy thinks for a moment and says, "Well, there was this one time when I was drivin' down the highway and I saw a Biker Gang assaulting this poor girl. I slowed down my car to see what was going on, and sure enough, that's what they were doing. There were about 50 of 'em torturing this chick.

Infuriated, I got out my car, grabbed a tire iron from my trunk and walked straight up to the leader of the gang. He was a huge guy with a studded leather jacket and a chain running from his nose to his ear. As I walked up to the leader, the Gang formed a circle all around me.

So I ripped the leader's chain off his face and smashed him over the head with the tire iron. Then I turned around and yelled to the rest of them, 'Leave this poor, innocent girl alone, you slime! You're all a bunch of sick, deranged animals! Go home before I teach you all a lesson in pain!'"

St. Peter, extremely impressed, says, "Really? Wow, when did all this happen?"

"Er.. about two minutes ago."

Okay I am just finding jokes and copy and paste, but hey it is a lot better then me telling them. Considering I am really bad at it.

Funny!. good joke Joe! Doesn't hurt that I'm slurpin a beer! ;)

My grandparents were so religious, that I would have been struck down for telling that one! LOL! I loved them to death though!

Oh man. I just realized it's 410am.

... crap. I have a "gym date" tomorrow morn.

... I'm out like a fat kid playing dodgeball!

Ps - starbs, best. If you want, you give me the addy of this supposed ex... I'll go make his life a living hell. He doesn't realize what 5 lbs of sugar and a light spray hose can do to his house.

You know what, Oh boy some of the religious jokes I have told and heard. You would think the very religious would Condem me To Hell, but I would rather believe God has a sense of humour. Hmmm?

Quote:

Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny

oh man. I just realized it's 410am.

...crap. I have a "gym date" tomorrow morn.

...I'm out like a fat kid playing dodgeball!

ps - starbs, best. If you want, you give me the addy of this supposed ex...I'll go make his life a living hell. He doesn't realize what 5 lbs of sugar and a light spray hose can do to his house.

Oh my dear bodyguard Sneeny-poo! I will cover you, and you run up to his house and JUST DO IT... wear your sneakers... we might have to run like crazy from Leatherface! That's his really mean, rode hard and put away wet, crazy A$$ girlfriend! She's perty!. just like a flower... a cactus flower maybe! :D

OH... just for future reference? What does sugar and a mist of water actually do?

God says to Adam, "I have some good news and some bad news. What do you want to hear first?"

Adam says, "Tell me the good news first."

God says, "I'm going to give you a penis and a brain. You'll derive from these great pleasure and great intellect."

Adam replies, "Wonderful! But what's the bad news?"

God says, "I'm only going to give you enough blood supply to work one at a time."

Quote:

Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny

oh man. I just realized it's 410am.

...crap. I have a "gym date" tomorrow morn.

...I'm out like a fat kid playing dodgeball!

ps - starbs, best. If you want, you give me the addy of this supposed ex...I'll go make his life a living hell. He doesn't realize what 5 lbs of sugar and a light spray hose can do to his house.

You're fuuuunnnyy Dr Sneeze!. I've got visions of that fat guy playing dodge ball! G'nite Sir Sneeze! Get yer beauty sleep for your Gym date! ;)

Goodnight Sneezefunny,

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jesushelper76

God says to Adam, "I have some good news and some bad news. What do you want to hear first?"

Adam says, "Tell me the good news first."

God says, "I'm going to give you a penis and a brain. You'll derive from these great pleasure and great intellect."

Adam replies, "Wonderful! But what's the bad news?"

God says, "I'm only going to give you enough blood supply to work one at a time."

HAHAHAHA! Oh, you wouldn't believe the ones that would make my grandparents do flip flops in their graves that I've told.

I can not wait to hear some of them. Hee Hee. I am waiting.

Right now I am watching George Carlin. That will make a lot of people turn. Hmmmm.

My Grandmother was such a staunch Christian, that I was going to hell every second day! We were'nt allowed to dance, because that was shaking our bodies for unholy men. We weren't allowed to go to movies, because they were all about sex. We couldn't play cards, because the devil was trying to trick us... and so on.

Do you know the song by Queen... Tie Your Mother Down? My Grandma cried for hrs because she thought we were going to kill our mother... lol

I'm so bad at jokes... well remembering jokes! I can't think of any right now.

Here's one though. I hope this doesn't offend anyone, lol.

An elderly man was driving down the road late at night and saw an Indian woman hitchiking. He thought to himself, well this young girl shouldn't be out here so late, I will stop and give her a ride.

She hops into his car, and they drive off down the road. She started rubbing his leg, and says, I will give you a big wet kiss if you stop by the liquor schtore. He agrees. The elderly man starts to get turned on by the young Indian woman, and is swerving all over the road.

The Indian woman says to the elderly man,. oh you are passionate! The old man said, so are you! The woman says... NO, the liquor store... you're pashh in it!

I'm so bad at telling jokes... lol!

I tried sleeping. Didn't work...

... this can't be good.

sugar all around the house, sprayed on the roof, etc + mist = bugs and other critters so bad my neighbor down the street had to call the pest control man for 3 days in a row.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny

I tried sleeping. Didn't work...

...this can't be good.

sugar all around the house, sprayed on the roof, etc + mist = bugs and other critters so bad my neighbor down the street had to call the pest control man for 3 days in a row.

I'm quite sure Leatherface supplies all of the "bugs" that he can handle! Ewwwwww, did I just say that outloud?

I am getting ready to pass out. Think it is time to get an hour sleep before Little cheeks wakes up...

Goodnight everybody.

Joe

That's grody starbs.

Night jesushelper!. lil cheeks? Is there a big cheeks in the house?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jesushelper76

I am getting ready to pass out. Think it is time to get an hour sleep before Little cheeks wakes up...

Goodnight everybody.

Joe

G'nite Joe! Thanks for making me laugh, I needed that! Sweet dreams! :)

I just put a sign on my back fence that says, "SMILE, YOU'RE ON CANDID CAMERA" I don't know if that will help, but it can't hurt!

Oh my.

I used to have kids that used to play those door games on our house... they ring the doorbell and they ran.

So... my parents wanted to disable the bell.

... I just took the plastic thing off and made the spring really sharp. :)

I.. am sleepy.

... why can't I sleep?!

Grahhhhh!

Oh yeah, I was up $350 today!. then lost it all... so I broke even again. Sad.

What're you doing up starbs?

I'm keeping watch on my backyard I guess! Sad isn't it! I can't sleep again of course. I hate going to sleep thinking someone is lurking around in my backyard. They tore down my lights lastnite, so I can't even see to the back of my fence!

How is your sports bar doing... have you opened yet?