[Alty]

UNIVERSAL TRUTHS

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection... again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

22. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent an from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?

29. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers.

31. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my behind everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!




"We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by."

[shazamataz]

Good ones Alty :D

Don't forget that if you drop a piece of toast it always lands butter side down.

But cats always land feet first, so what happens if you put butter on a cats back and then drop it? :D

[Alty]

Good ones Alty :D

Don't forget that if you drop a piece of toast it always lands butter side down.

But cats always land feet first, so what happens if you put butter on a cats back and then drop it? :D

LOL! It depends on where the butter is. :)

[KBC]

UNIVERSAL TRUTHS

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.AMEN!!or whatever ya'll say...:D

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.YES!!

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?Not in my world,Microsoft word does it all!

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.True,true.

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.For you women I can see this,we guys ALWAYS LOOK GOOD!!:D

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.Many a caller gets voice mail because of this:)

23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.We can't text anymore while driving,,but to DIAL the darn thing,,now we have Bluetooth to do it all.

24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.Ditto.

25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?Hmm,sounds like a call from Ken again,,get the WHAT'S ready...:rolleyes:

27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.You don't work with hogs much,do you?

30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers.He,he.

31. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.Why wear the darn thing anyway...:)

"We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by."

Additions by ME!

[Alty]

Additions by ME!

Love the additions. :)

[Stringer]

All truisms... its finally all been said, congrats.