[Alty]

SIPPING VODKA

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor replied, 'When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.'
So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice.
At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.
He proceeded to talk up a storm.
Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:
1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his a$$.
6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook.
8) David slew Goliath; he did not kick the $hit out of him.
9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his a$$.
10)We do not refer to the cross as the 'Big T.'
11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, 'Take this and eat it for it is my body.' He did not say 'Eat me'.
12)The Virgin Mary is not called 'Mary with the Cherry'.
13)The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.
14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

[Cat1864]

But I want to go to St. Taffy's. It sounds like they have fun. :)

[albear]

LMAO classic

[Catsmine]

Welcome to St. Taffy's

We are your hosts for the evening. I'm Catsmine, This is Albear, and for practice, KC Tiger.

[Alty]

Welcome to St. Taffy's

We are your hosts for the evening. I'm Catsmine, This is Albear, and for practice, KC Tiger.

I'm sure that KC would say "eat me". :p

[Catsmine]

I'm sure that KC would say "eat me". :p

To whom?

[Alty]

To whom?

Anyone female. :)

[shazamataz]

I love that joke, I thought it was a classic :D

[Alty]

I love that joke, I thought it was a classic :D

You are the one that sent it to me, I just decided to share with everyone. :)

[twinkiedooter]

I love that one!
Taffy pulling contest. Priceless.
Rub a dub dub. Thanks for the grub. Priceless.

[Alty]

My personal fav;

Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his a$$.

Giggle. :)

[friend4u178]

My personal fav;

Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his a$$.

Giggle. :)

And I was sure you were going to say the "eat me" one ;)

[Alty]

And i was sure you were going to say the "eat me" one ;)

I'm full of surprises M. :)