Ask Me Help Desk - I need comeback jokes

I need comeback jokes

I'm being name called at school and bus (im not a nerd) I have a few comebacks but not a lot I need help please

If u just agree with them and with a sorcastic oook and yup that's it it will show them that u don't care and make them look stupid

Not relly what I was looking 4 but thanks it will help a lot

Well, give us a "for instance." Like, the guy said bla, bla. Your comeback depends upon a lot of things. What are you like? You're not a nerd, you said. Who is it mainly who gives you a hard time? Are his friends joining in?

I'm in 6th grade and I'm in the normal population and the popular kids are making me mad and my best friend liam is helping

What are the popular kids, and Liam doing/saying that makes you angry?

Examples of what they say might help cause I can't think of anything off the top of my head right now.

Liam is my best friend and we are trying to figuar out something but some how every time when I and liam think of a plan they already got it. There are 3-5 kids that are a pain in my spine. On the last day of school I want to get them good. By the way there is 6 days left. If I get his phone number I can track were he lives and then might TP his house. I need a good comeback or prank. My items I have in my backpack are 3 pens,2 lasers,4 pencils, 1 eracer and a pocet knife. No I'm not going to stap him.

I wish I could need help please

I can give you snappy one liners, but I'm not going to give you a plan to vandalize his house or hurt him.

Be the bigger person, walk away.

Vandalize he's house yes hurt him no I just want a good joke or prank

Vandalizing his house isn't a joke or a prank, it's illegal. We can't be a party to that.

You're on your own, but I'd think about it if I were you.

Juvy isn't fun.

The best advice is to ignore it. Sure easier said than done. But once they see you're not getting upset anymore, it's no longer fun for them.

Ever heard of Eminem? His claim to fame is making fun of himself before others can. That's another route you can go. That'll take the wind out of their sail if you already beat 'em to the punchline.

But vandalism? No. Don't do it. You could get into a lot of trouble. TV makes it look fun but your parents could get into trouble as well. 6 more days- hold on for 6 more days.

OK OK OK I won't vandalize his house but can I TP it

Quote:

Originally Posted by killer777

ok ok ok i wont vandalize his house but can i TP it

TP'ing is vandalism.

Plus, that's his parents' house. You're going to be bringing both sets of parents (yours and his) into a schoolyard fight. They can file a police report and your parents are ultimately responsible for the clean up. Imagine the trouble you'd be in.

It's 6 more days. Take the high road.

Quote:

Originally Posted by killer777

ok ok ok i wont vandalize his house but can i TP it

And then he'll do the same thing to you so you'll do something worse then he'll do something worse... see where I'm going with this?

A real man walks away. Getting revenge is the cowards way. It takes strength to be the bigger person.

You'll see. If you walk away, make him think you couldn't give a damn about him, that he's not worth the effort to do anything, well that's worse then anything you could think of to do. That will get him where it hurts, his ego! :)

You know what you guys are right I don't want a police report I'm only 12 thanks without you guys id be in a lot of troble. Ill just ignore him 4 six more days -)

Quote:

Originally Posted by killer777

you know what you guys are right i dont want a police report im only 12 thanks without you guys id be in a lot of troble. ill just ignore him 4 six more days -)

Good for you. Trust me, this will make him even more angry then if you actually did anything.

Six more days, not that long at all. :)

You're the best guys

Quote:

Originally Posted by killer777

your the best guys

Can I get that in writing? ;)

I'm glad we helped.

Quote:

Originally Posted by killer777

your the best guys

I'm glad we helped. We just don't want to see you do something you'll regret. And we didn't want to hear about you spending your whole summer doing community service because you did something like this out of anger.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

Can I get that in writing? ;)

I'm glad we helped.

LOL!! I really would. Id write it in red ink with my singnatuar

I'm a little late getting here, Killer, but just remember...

Bill Gates is a nerd. Steve Jobs is a nerd. Together they own the planet.

Revenge is a dish best served cold. Take some time and hire these guys just so you can fire them. Meanwhile you can dream of their humiliation.

If you respond by giving them attention,they will get what they are looking for ,to get a reaction so I say you should just ignore them or laugh when they say something,that will keep them guessing.
Shake your head and laugh and they will wonder.

Yeah if you don't have a good comeback that is sure to shut them up you most likely will only be fueling the fire.

It would help with they are saying. I'm a teen so yah, I'm good at these kinds of things. Can you tell me what they are saying about or to you. It would help me so I can help you. ;)

I know that noise is maddening now.

It.

Means.

Nothing.

Long.

Term.

You need to believe this...

When one person tries to diminish another... it's a power play. But maybe not the one you think.

They do not have power. You do.

They try to tear others down to make themselves feel better. They need to dominate others to feel validated. Which means they really are cowards.

I know it doesn't feel like that. But it is the truth.

They have to hurt others to artificially prop themselves up.

You might call them "popular" but they aren't as happy as they seem. Their actions will catch up to them eventually. You might never see it, but it will.

Be ready to accept that there will always be people who try to tear down others to prop themselves up. It will happen in school. It will happen when you have graduated and are working. Some people never get beyond this defect... this failure.

One of the most powerful things you can have is confidence. In yourself. It takes a weak person to tear another down to falsely boost themselves image.

I know that might not be a great comfort in the middle of all the noise... but I promise you... it is the truth.

Whatever they say... it means nothing as long as you let it mean nothing. Who gives a damn if they are popular? Ten years from now, that will mean NOTHING. They will be stripped of all their false labels...

They are cowards. You don't have to hit back at a coward.

I agree with all of you.

Just stare them right in the eye and don't flinch. There are a lot of people out there who get nervous with eye contact.

Quote:

Originally Posted by oscarlicous

it would help with they are saying. im a teen so yah, im good at these kinds of things. can you tell me what they are saying about or to you. it would help me so i can help you. ;)

Like in the morning he comes up and says he say sup retarded fag. Then I roll my eyes and say whatever. I'm not acting like I care but he says I already know that stuiped trick. He said something else besides stupid. He says like the f,h,d and all the other because words

Quote:

Originally Posted by killer777

like in the morning he comes up and says he say sup retarded fag. then i roll my eyes and say whatever. im not acting like i care but he says i already know that stuiped trick. he said something else besides stupid. he says like the f,h,d and all the other cus words

I woudna know ,since you talk it about it all the time ,I want to know why you have it on your mind? Is is because you relate? Relate means and then explain the definition.

Maybe they will decide that would rather be smart and kind and learn something from you.Some of this may truly be jealousy. Maybe they want to learn more but are too proud to admit they don't know everything.

Combat ignorance with intelligence,it works many times.

As has been said most bullies are having some problems,even if it is just going along with the crowd.That is a problem.
Just remember who you are ,and your cool.. I can tell your smart and nice so ,tell them to (whatever words your parents allow you to use) !:D:eek:

Quote:

Originally Posted by laceymfisher

if u just agree with them and with a sorcastic oook and yup thats it it will show them that u dont care and make them look stupid

I agree
If you make a comeback they will just think of more stuff to say
just agree with them sarcastically
exactly what they said ^ it will make them look stupid.

A neglected fire eventually dies. If their objective is to rattle you, responding only acknowledges and justifies their immaturity. You have better things to do with your time, right? Hang in there, this too shall pass. Retarded fag? Sounds like he's the expert...

If the name-callers can see that it bothers you, they will keep doing it. If you act like it doesn't bother you, they don't get any satisfaction from it and will probably stop. If you keep trying to think of ways to get them back, it will just become a bigger problem.

Let me preface this by saying my above advice is the way to go. Be the bigger person.

That said, I remembered this morning a comeback I've used many times... my irish temper can easily get the best of me. "hit first and apologize later." so a fav line I've used when someone is really doing their best to deliberately tick me off by acting like an idiot is to say

"wow, it must be really dark in there"

And of course they say "where?"

And then I say "your a$$. it must be dark with your head stuck up your a$$ all the time"

Another version, is "does it hurt?"... "what?"... "does it hurt having your head stuck up your a$$?"

It usually doesn't go over well. I don't say it unless I'm willing to escalate the situation, which might mean a fight.

I don't suggest you use this in your situation. But I'm sometimes dumb like that.

I would us the "does it hurt?" thing. I have used that one several times and the people become speeckless. And about the fag thing. Just say" did you say somethinng? i dont think i understand what your saying?" but that really gets them aggrivated. Which I love to do to people. Then you can say " your wasting my time. i got to go."

Killer,

If you MUST use a comeback, as tweens sometimes must, how about the old response to homophobes "Sorry, you're not my type." or "No, I'm too young to be your boyfriend."

A smirk is better, it keeps them guessing.

Or "You LIKE saying "fag", dont you? What's up with that?"

Or... "You're so pretty when you say "fag"... tho' that takes a lot of guts.

btw... i have one "out" gay friend, one "in the closet", and two friends who are lesbian... I'm just trying to throw gas on the fire.

You know... the thing I told him not to do...

Or just send them to me. I have little tolerance for people with little tolerance and my hands haven't been bloodied for a time. ;)

Or, how about this... when they say,, what's up fag,, just act like you didn't hear the fag part, and act like you only heard the what's up part. So you say, just going to class, what are you up to?

Or "why are you talking to yourself?"

Mkay...

Must stop...

Be the bigger man. He is a little bug making lots of silly noise.